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bakerstreet2014-02-07 08:59 pm
sock_munkey) wrote in bakerstreet2014-02-07 08:59 pm
BACK FROM THE DEAD
your grave year after year. Aren't they going to be surprised to find you alive and well?
( reposted from here )
HOW IT WORKS:
❧ Post a comment with your character's name, canon, and any relevant preferences.
❧ If there's a specific scenario you like best, set the scene.
❧ Or leave your comment blank and let others use RNG to choose.
❧ Have fun!
SCENARIOS:
① Took longer than I thought → Maybe you went on a voyage and presumed dead. Maybe you were stranded on an island, kidnapped by pirates, or lost in the Bermuda Triangle. Whatever the case, you're back now, to everyone's great surprise.
② Amnesia → You sustained a traumatic head injury that left you unable to recall your identity. It's all come back to you and now you're faced with the realization that the people who knew you before have moved on with their lives.
③ Sleeping Beauty → Due to magic, science, or some happy marriage of both, you were put into a deep sleep to be awakened at some point in the future. Maybe your friends and family weren't aware of the plan. Wakey, wakey.
④ Only mostly dead → Think Frodo and Shelob. You're thought dead and your body's left behind. Only, you weren't as dead as everyone thought. Oops.
⑤ Faked it → Maybe you've been put in witness protection or you're a secret agent no one can know exists. For whatever reason, you had to fake your own death. Now it's safe to go back to your life. How are you going to explain that?
⑥ Back from the dead → You really were dead. But you're not any more. Whether it was divine intervention, Dr. Frankenstein, or aliens, you're alive and kicking once again.
⑦ Choose your own adventure → Mix and match or make up your own!
Levi | Attack on Titan
2
He'd been aware he was in the Survey Corps. As ripped and bloodstained as it was, the insignia on his uniform were still visible, but--he hadn't wanted to go back. They didn't need him there anyway, right? It wasn't as if he could fight anymore. The truth is, he'd been afraid. Afraid of remembering. Whenever he thinks of it, of what he must have experienced, it fills him with dread.
Maybe it's better to forget. To live a relatively normal life, trying not to look at the wall, doing odd jobs and relying on the kindness of others when he has to, even if it grows a little thin at times. Whenever he hears of some action by the Survey Corps in the area, he generally tries to stay out of the way. But it's not that easy. His dread aside, he's curious. Part of him wants to know who he is, even if there are memories he shies away from. How can he live the rest of his life, not knowing his real name? He's torn. A few times, he's gone so far as to start out for the capital, but each time, he'd thought better of it, stopped and turned back.
He hasn't stopped wondering. That's why today, when the Survey Corps passes, instead of finding something to do indoors, he remains outside to watch the riders, along with the other curious onlookers.]
brb SCREAMING
He's changed, in many ways he's different. Calmer, more measured, and even more reserved than before. But he never forgets the people he's lost. Bodies too often don't make it back. Dead was dead, after all, even if there was hardly any proof of their existence afterward.
Levi rarely scans the crowd as they wait for the gate to open. Since earning his reputation as "humanity's strongest," seeing the awe in people's faces (contrasting with their confusion of 'I thought he'd be taller') is harder to look at knowing that the Survey Corps will return later with nearly a third less than those who went out.
But today he's glancing around, and his eyes catch on something in the doorway of a random shop or home. A familiar face, one that shouldn't exist anymore.
Levi doesn't believe in ghosts. He stares at that face, hard, waiting for it to disappear.
It doesn't.
So right there, in the middle of everything, he dismounts (other soldiers protesting, though Erwin says nothing to call him back), and strides over to where Farlan is standing. People part for him, call out to him, but he ignores them all, stopping only a pace away from the man who should be dead.]
Oi.
[his voice is dangerously low, hands clenched into fists below his green cloak.]
Where the fuck have you been all this time?
screams with you
He isn't expecting anyone to notice him, but when Levi meets his gaze, he can see the recognition there at once. When Levi starts toward him, he feels a terrible sense of knowledge, like when you almost remember a word you're looking for, but not quite. Only the "word" is the memories he's been so afraid of, pressing on the back of his mind, a great weight. He can't retreat. He can only stand still, looking at Levi.
It's not as if he hasn't heard of Captain Levi. It's difficult to ignore the things people say, even when he wants to. People always talk, not always to him, but often around him. Gossip is one of the few entertainments many people have, when times have been so hard lately. He knows, but he doesn't think of these things too much, or when he does (because he's not the kind of person who's truly satisfied with ignorance), he pushes the thoughts away as soon as possible, before panic sets in and he starts to feel nauseous.
Now, he can't push the thoughts away, because they're standing in front of him, confronting him.]
I-- I've been here. You know who I am? I'm sorry, I don't remember. I don't remember anything.
[The words come out in a rush. He repeats himself to confirm his ignorance, as if saying it will make sure the memories don't come back. Maybe it's selfish of him, to want to forget. Maybe he's a selfish person. He doesn't really know who he is.]
all of levi's feelings, man
Levi also can't convince himself that Farlan would have stayed away entirely even after Isabel's death. He thought he would have seen him at least once since then, if he had truly survived.
But the thing that also doesn't escape him is that despite his injuries, Farlan doesn't look as though he's suffering. He's decently clothed and decently fed, and that's a step up from where they'd started. If he doesn't remember the atrocities that brought him here, perhaps that's for the better, at this point.
But still. Levi wants to make absolutely sure.
He reaches out, grabs a fistful of Farlan's shirt and jerks him down a little, sharp gray eyes boring into him.]
What's your name? What have you been doing the last few years, huh?
poor levi
I don't know what it is. They call me Ernst here.
[The thought that Levi knows his actual name is both thrilling and terrifying. It means that he's so close to knowing it himself. If he remembers that, will he remember all the other things he's lost? He's still not sure if the lost memories are due to the injury to his head or simply the horror of what he experienced. He doesn't know much about memory loss or how it works.]
I've been working, that's all. I work for the people who took me in, and around town.
[He tends to keep to himself. His status as outsider don't make him a lot of friends. He usually has enough to eat, but it's not as if things have been easy. There's been famine and drought and sickness in the past years. He's lucky he's been able to stay here and stay alive. It hasn't been solely through chance. He's made himself useful at times and made himself scarce at others, by design. Anything to keep living. His injuries pain him often. He can't exactly afford the best medical care, but he works through the pain, nonetheless. It's not as if he has a choice. Everyone has to pull their weight.]
I'm sorry I didn't come back.
[He blurts this, helplessly. He feels like he should apologize. It's been tormenting him, the uncertainty and his own divided opinion. Not knowing if he mattered to anyone and not wanting to find out that he didn't. If he'd made it to the capital, without knowing anyone and useless to everyone, what would he have done?]
no subject
They'd both dealt with loss in the slums. Levi may have been the 'leader' of their gang, but Farlan had been the only person, even back when Levi had been wild and unruly, to reel him in when necessary. They'd been the only people important enough to him to do the things that he'd done, and at the very first expedition beyond the walls, he'd failed to protect them. Even now, he can't quite forgive himself. Losing people he's chosen to be responsible for is not something he'll ever get used to.
Levi lets him go, and looks at him, hard.]
Do you want to know who you are?
no subject
When Levi asks him that question, he hesitates. He wants to say no, that he doesn't. He should. It's stupid to say anything else. Obviously, he wanted to leave the person he used to be behind so badly that he's been someone else for years. That's what happened, isn't it? He wasn't strong enough. He's weak. He should accept that and forget about all this.
Yet he's not as quick to refuse as he thinks he should be. This could be his only chance. If he doesn't find out now, he might never know. He struggles with himself. This choice would be easier if he knew the kind of person he truly is, and that's what finally decides him. He's struggling to survive, but how can he ever truly live if he doesn't even know who he is? He pushes past his fear for long enough to answer:]
Yes.
no subject
He gives Farlan a considering look. It's been years, and he's lived in this false (second?) persona for this long. Does he really want to know? But then, it isn't really his place to question what Farlan wants at this point. People have to make decisions for themselves, and something like this, he can't be the keeper of his true identity. He deserves to know, if he wants.]
Your name is Farlan Church. You were born in the slums under Sina. I found you and Isabel and we helped each other survive.
After we joined the corps, I failed you.
[A low voice calls his name with a commanding tone, and Levi turns to see Erwin with a blank face that clearly indicates it's time to go. Levi tells him he's coming before looking back at Farlan.]
If you stand here again when we return, I'll find you and tell you everything.
no subject
He turns to look at Erwin, and there's something familiar about that, too. Farlan doesn't mind that he's calling Levi back; he's honestly surprised they delayed this long on account of him. Maybe it's best that they're leaving. Levi's words had been comparatively few, but their content is a lot to take in. He feels dazed, at a loss. He can barely get out his reply.]
All right. I'll be here.
[He watches the Survey Corps leave. Even though he's known he was one of them once, it's still difficult to imagine going with them. He shudders and looks away as they open the gate, as a wave of revulsion washes over him. It almost makes him sick.
While they're away outside the walls, he notices people looking at him strangely. They think of him differently now, he can tell, and he'll have to deal with that. Maybe he made the wrong choice. His life here hasn't been so bad, comparatively. But he'd chosen, and he can't take it back. He keeps thinking about what Levi said, about Isabel and the slums and his failure. He still doesn't remember, but his dread is stronger, as is the feeling that he can almost recall, like a damn barely holding back the waters. He's not sure when it will break, or what will happen when it does.
He doesn't bother pretending that he's going to change his mind, even if that would be the wiser thing to do. Maybe he's tired of pretending, even if this frightens him. He waits for Levi when the gates reopen and the riders return. For some reason, he's sure he'll come back.]
no subject
The corps trudge down the main road to the usual berating calls (always a grand dissonance from the cheers that they hear on their way out). He walks his horse, giving her a break after her hard work for the day, and scans the crowd for Farlan again when they near the same spot that they'd passed that morning.
Truthfully, he won't be that surprised if Farlan isn't there. Learning about the past, uncovering it, when it's likely to be nothing glamorous and simply full of loss and ugly things would probably make most people stay away and hide in their bliss. Levi wouldn't blame him. He'd deserved better than the life he got. Many people in the slums did. Many people starving in the streets above ground in the sun did.
Perhaps they all did - deserved to be free of the terror of the titans and free to simply live in terror of one another instead.]
no subject
Farlan isn't sure why people cheer when they leave and mock them when they come back... maybe the people who have hope, who want to believe things can change, don't want to be subjected to the sight of them trooping home, weary and bloody. Farlan doesn't want to cheer or insult them. Usually, he avoids them, but this time he just watches, noting how much less their numbers are than they were earlier in the day. Looking at them, he feels odd. Hollow. That familiar feeling, that he's missing something.
It's not as if he'd expected his past to be anything glorious, or wonderful, or even necessarily average or mediocre. He hadn't been hoping for much. He'd been surviving. That was why it was surprising to him that there was actually someone who cared about him, in some way. He didn't know Levi well enough to read him and guess what their--association?--had been like, but he'd said I failed you, as if he'd been worried, as if it had meant something to him. That's enough to make him curious, to keep him where he is. His misgivings aside, it feels like the right thing to do, almost natural, somehow.
He's nervous, and wary, and he's feeling sick again, but in a way, it's a relief, to think that he doesn't have to keep dreading the unknown for the rest of his life.]
Hey. It's me. I guess.
[It feels like a foolish thing to say when Levi looks so grim. He isn't sure what to say about their mission, or their losses, so he doesn't mention them. He's not in the Survey Corps, even if he was, once, and he's in no danger of joining up again in his condition.]
no subject
He leaves his horse with a cadet, not worried about getting back to headquarters later. Erwin knows he'll be gone a while, but will return in a few hours. He isn't worried.
There's apprehension in Farlan, which is to be expected. Levi doesn't ask if he's really sure about his decision, though. After he took the courage to say yes, and to follow through on it, he's not about to make him doubt himself in the end.]
Do you have a place where we can talk?
no subject
Sure. I do. Come on.
[It's a bit awkward, but he turns, gesturing with his good arm for Levi to follow. He walks with a pronounced limp, and it's obviously not completely easy for him, but he doesn't have far to go. The barn is quiet, and no one usually bothers him there. He doesn't live in the barn, but in the shed nearby, both of which belong to the family that helps him sometimes--not that he doesn't pay them back, with work. It's not the most glamorous living situation, but it's better than what a lot of people have, especially someone with the kind of infirmities he has.
There's no one here right now but the animals. The horses turn to look at them, but continue to calmly chew their hay.]
This should be all right. No one'll mind.
[People are going to talk, and he'll never hear the end of it, but they won't exactly mind. He hopes. He's still worried that he's going to remember--it hasn't happened yet, but he's on edge. It could, and he knows he could be courting disaster, but that's not going to stop him.]
no subject
There's something now almost cozy and familiar about a stable that makes him feel a little more relaxed. He still has the gear on - that won't leave him until he gets back to headquarters - but he carefully approaches one of the horses, lets it sniff at his hand before he rubs gently up the soft velvet coat on the long nose.
Farlan's limp is noticeable. Levi had studied him from the back, the way he moved, his arm. He takes care not to stare too much at the scarring on his face, but it's impossible to not notice now.
Is being alive like this better than being dead? Levi couldn't say. It isn't his call to make, though part of him argues that it is.]
Is there something in particular you want to know, or do you want me to just tell you what I know about you?
no subject
Still, in spite of the problems he lives with, he'd always prefer to keep living. He doesn't want to die. He doesn't remember the moment of being injured, but he remembers afterward: suffering, dying. At times, the pain had been so great he could easily have wished for death, but he'd fought to stay alive. You only have one life, and every minute of it counts, he thinks.
He watches Levi with the horse. There's something normal and reassuring about the little action, at odds with how surreal this is otherwise. He likes animals. At their best, they're calm and dependable, and they don't stare at him or talk about him.]
I don't--
[He breaks off, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. Part of him can't believe this is even happening.]
I don't know what to ask, honestly. You can tell me what you know.
no subject
[Levi suddenly wishes he at least had a cup of tea - to use as something to feel warm again or for something else to focus on (for either of them) or to help pace the story, but it doesn't matter. Delaying anything at this point would seem like an evasion, and that's the last thing he wants, not with Farlan right here in front of him.
He speaks carefully, starting with how they met and glossing over most of what happened during their time in the slums. Levi tells Farlan about stealing maneuver gear, about the plan to assassinate Erwin, about Isabel, about the awful first expedition beyond the walls when it seemed as though he'd lost them both.
If Farlan has questions in the middle, Levi answers them patiently, words measured.
When he finishes, he falls silent, letting Farlan have a few moments to take it all in in full.]
[ooc: I just skipped over talking through everything since it'd just be rehashing things already told, but if you want to go into detail just let me know and I can edit!]
no subject
[He listens closely. He has some questions, but not many. He simply doesn't know enough to ask more, to know what's relevant, and some of the blanks Levi leaves he senses are intentional, things he's decided are better left untold for now. That's fine. This is more--more of a past than Farlan had ever thought he'd had.
He should remember now. He thought that knowing this much would bring the actual memories back. And now and again as Levi speaks, there is a flicker: an image, or an impression, or an emotion... He tries not to shudder, to show how he feels. He reaches around himself to grasp his bad arm with his good hand, as if holding himself together.]
I see. That's...
[He hadn't expected to have been a criminal, any more than he'd expected to know someone like Levi. It's all so strange to him, strange to know about these things he can't quite recall. He wonders how he feels. He's not sure.]
I can see why I don't remember.
[Does he want to? He wants the memories that are his, because they're his, but he doesn't want the pain that's sure to come with them, which he can already feel a trace of.
Isabel. She died. He should be able to remember her face.]
I should have gone back, though. I'm sorry.
no subject
[besides which, he would've been discharged with his injuries anyway, although that would have come with at least a small compensation as well. Like this, he's had to struggle again, and that twists something in Levi.
He looks at Farlan again, and he can see the change in him. He's not the same person he once was, someone that Levi had once (if subtly) relied on for guidance, despite the fact that he'd been the one to pull him and Isabel out of complete destitution - though not by much.]
Is there anything I can help you with?