bakerstreet | he won't have sex to beyonce. i hate him.

texts from last night

you know the drill.

They say if you smoke after sex, you're doing it too quickly.

is that a confucius thing or

Woody Allen, actually. maybe use more lube next time. or less tequila.

i should have known

less tequila for sure or maybe it's time to invest in a new fire extinguisher

maybe a water bed? that could be fun.

oh good idea

i could flood my apartment instead of burning it down

could bring a whole new meaning to being in hot water. =eyebrow waggle=

how long do you think it'd take me before i started up with under the sea

you're the only man i know who can fuck and sing disney songs at the same time. tequila, never again.

hey i consider that a personal accomplishment

yeah and i'll never hear the circle of life again without either cracking up or bursting into tears

//beat//

my therapist applauded, so you know

oh c'mon i'm not that bad of a singer and circle of life is pretty apt

your therapist has good taste

okay, it's mostly laughing till tears run down my cheeks. never come so hard in my life. you've ruined me for any other man.

mission accomplished (:

//end thread

[ooc: Thank you for the thread! These two should meet. I think there should be tequila involved.]