whip out your phones, it's that time again.

[ineffabilities]

texts from last night

You know the drill.

Comments

Alistair | Twilight Saga | ota

[caitiff]

but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die

[bitterwolf]

Try to impregnate me with your undead Predalien kids and I'll take care of the dying part, Romeo.

[caitiff]

I might actually prefer letting you bite my head off to putting my cock anywhere near whatever it is you have between your legs.

[bitterwolf]

Been thinking a lot about what that is, leech? I recommend books. They have pictures.

[caitiff]

I'll refresh my memory on what the literature says about hellmouths.

[bitterwolf]

Is that what they called it back in the Middle Ages?

Cute

[caitiff]

Entrances to hell shaped like the gaping mouth of a monster? Yep, that's what we called them.

[bitterwolf]

So what did you call people who screw corpses?

[caitiff]

Why, been feeling any necrophilic urges lately?

[bitterwolf]

Just curious. I'm always looking for new and creative ways to mock Bella.

[caitiff]

You could test her vocabulary and call her an algamatophile.

[bitterwolf]

What the fuck? I'm going to Google that. Better not have insulted me.

[caitiff]

Sexual attraction to statues or similar figurative objects. If the shoe fits...

[bitterwolf]

I see. Sounds like a disease.

[caitiff]

Most sexual preferences do.

[bitterwolf]

All the more so if they involve bloodsuckers.

Nothing healthy about that.

[caitiff]

But beastiality is of course only natural.

[bitterwolf]

I'm a wolf only half the time.

You're always an undead murderer.

[caitiff]

Didn't know you were one of those meat is murder types.

[bitterwolf]

Didn't know you were quite that much of a monster.

We all learn something new every day.

[caitiff]

Thought you didn't let Carlisle's fuzzy front fool you.

[bitterwolf]

I don't. I know all of you are monsters, that's why I want them gone. But at least the Cullens try to pretend they aren't.

[caitiff]

What does that matter if you'll just hate us all the same regardless? You spit in the face of his efforts but you still expect the same from us all? Why should I care?

[bitterwolf]

Because he, at least, knows that murder isn't socially acceptable. You don't even care so much.

[caitiff]

What you fail to realize is that most vampires aren't interested in being social with our meals.