bakerstreet | Anonymous Questions meme

What happened to the hair? Did you get tired of it or something?

It's called a haircut. I wanted it out of my face. [That's a damned lie. He cut it because he could. Because his face was no longer covered with scars... and because frankly, he was tired of looking like a hobo.]

Cool, cool, though I gotta say, you can really rock the hobo chic look when you put your mind to it.

[Show yourself so he can punch you in the face.] Don't start, Parker. [...You are Peter, right? Because the thought of multiple people coming into his life to run their mouths like they know him isn't one he wants to think about.]

[Wow, May, you already knew he knew your parents and saved you at some point when you were a baby, but calling you Parker when you're wearing webs? Talk about a surprise!]

Too late for that!

[Here's the one and only Spider-Girl!]

I've gotta say, between the hairdye and work on your face, it looks like you're getting vain in your old age. People might start to talk.

[That's right, May, focus on talking, rather than the fact that without the hobo hair and beard he looks weirdly familiar. You just can't place it.]

[You... are not Peter Parker. Kaine just sort of stands there in stunned silence for a moment while he tries to make sense of it all--are you one of those Spider women?]

Who the fuck are you?

[The comment about his hair being dyed causes him to run his hand through his hair.] And what the fuck are you talking about?? This is my actual hair. [Old age? Seriously? He's barely reached the double digits...]

[Nope, just his daughter! Spider-Woman's got a nice ring to it, but that's definitely not until later. (Talk about a way to make you feel old.)]

Spider-Girl? At least these webs say I am.

[Come on, Kaine, way to make a girl feel confused! He's being crazy and cryptic in a different way. Unless this is weird time and space stuff going on, but you've had more than enough of that already!]

And you haven't gone for a dyejob recently? No reality TV style makeover?

[Squinting at Kaine so hard right now. Or rather, his hair.]

I guess it doesn't really look like you've dyed it...

[Spider Girl? Wasn't she Mexican? And wore that Julia Carpenter woman's old costume? You, girl, are neither.

And speaking of costume, Kaine quickly realizes that the costume she's wearing doesn't resemble Peter's, but Ben's. His hand clenches into a fist.]

Cute, but hardly original. [...Says the Scarlet Spider.]

Now seriously?--who the hell are you and why do you keep acting like you know who I am? You know nothing. [And he will punch you if you don't get out of his personal space, missy. He swears his hair is natural, and wanted criminals don't tend to go on national television to get a haircut.]

[Okay, backing up now. Taunting the cryptic psychopath is all well and good right up until you get hit.]

I wear this costume with pride, thanks, and you're the one who called me out first. [Pause. Was he expecting her dad instead?] You aren't kidding, are you?

[You got this guy landed in jail months ago for trying to murder the Kingpin right outside the courthouse after days of your dad intently working on finding him with the rest of the force and both him and Darkdevil telling you to keep out of anything related to Kaine. Maybe the quipping isn't the way to go about hiding how confused this is making you?

Nah.]

I'm also getting really tired of being told that.

[Hearing it from Darkdevil is more than enough!]

[This was so high on his list of shit he didn't want to deal with it didn't even rank.]

How about you cut out the Spider-Man banter crap and cut to the chase...

[Pulls his mask out from his waistband with one hand as he extends one of his stingers from the other.]

Or you're going to have a problem.

Who. are. you? [And more importantly, why are you wearing Ben's Spider-Man costume?]

I don't want to have a problem with you. I try to avoid violence if I can help it.

[This doesn't look good for your health, so you're really, really backing away now- this has taken a turn from really weird to potentially deadly. Your previous fights with Kaine have run the gamut from having your butt handed to you and confidence shattered to bringing him down in front of an audience, but you have the feeling that if a fight happens this time he won't be going for what he thinks is 'holding back'.

Not to mention, him pulling that mask out really drives your attention towards what he's wearing. People have called you out for not being observant enough, but this really takes the cake!]

I thought you already knew when you called me Parker.

[You pull your mask off, letting him see your face. Your features make your relation to both your parents obvious, and you're definitely a Parker, but you're 100% your own person- one May "Mayday" Parker.

At least you are unless Dad finds out you just unmasked in front of Kaine, in which case you better change your name to "Girl, you're so grounded!" Parker, even if he already does know the family's spidery secret.]

My name's May.

[Double grounded for telling him your name.]

[Good, whoever this imposter is, at least she has the sense to be afraid. And don't feel too bad about not noticing, he had only just shrugged off his shirt when she was rambling on about costume pride, so really only the top half is out. Unlike the rest of the Parker's, Kaine really doesn't give too much of a fuck about his "secret identity" seeing as half his enemies already know anyway.

And then she took off her mask. He could see the resemblance immediately. Kaine wasn't sure what to make of it. Was she yet another clone? Was she another trick? Hadn't he--hadn't Peter--been through enough??

He slid the Scarlet Spider mask over his head and lunged. He'd worry about his jeans later.]

Whoever you are lady, you are not a Parker!

[Way to go, Mayday! In retrospect, telling him- when you already knew he was unstable and dangerous!- who you were wasn't a good idea!

It's a good thing you've been doing all that training with Dad and Uncle Phil, because it's really coming in handy right now. A couple backflips and jumps takes you out of the way of his lunge, but you're going to have to be careful! He's fast enough he could get the drop on you even with your spider-sense!]

The last time I checked, that was the name on my birth certificate! May Watson doesn't have the same ring to it!

[Not that you think Mom would've ever entertained that thought.]

[For once in his life, he's not unstable. He's just mad. Mad that someone would take Ben's costume, take May's name... This was a sick joke.. and did she just say Watson? As in Peter's ex-fiancee?]

I'll give you credit, you did your homework. [And he had to admit, she certainly moved like a spider too. He shoots webbing at her ankles at an attempt to get her to stop jumping.]

Edited 2013-09-12 20:15 (UTC)

[Mad, unstable, whatever it is, it's still aimed at you, just like that shot of webbing he sent- which you just barely avoid, with the help of a shot of webbing to knock it off course!]

I'm not allowed to go out and play if my homework's not done! My dad was pretty firm on that!

[Come on, May, you just need to talk him down long enough so you don't get killed.]

And since when did you do the spider-thing?

Edited 2013-09-12 20:47 (UTC)

And who is your father? I'm sure he'd love to know you've taken up on impersonating the family a good man for attention. [As much of a pain in the ass as Peter is, Kaine really believes that. Just... don't tell Peter.

Or Kaine for that matter.]

You know damn near everything else about me and you don't know I've been--[HewillnotsayScarletSpiderhewillnotsayScarletSpider]--in Texas for over a year now?

Maybe you didn't study as well as you thought. [Starts rapidly shooting webs, seemingly at random, missing her again and again... Only he hasn't completely lost it, he's attempting to snag her by creating a web behind her.]

My dad's Peter Parker! I'm sure he'll love to hear that compliment coming from you, though!

[You won't though, because hearing that from Kaine might send him into some sort of fit.

But really? Really? He thinks you're some sort of impostor? He's the one suddenly wearing an off-brand spider costume!]

What are you talking about? As far as I know, you got caught after you came back to New York to try and kill the Kingpin! You're supposed to be in jail!

[This is really starting to look like alternate dimension shenanigans are involved, but there's no time to think too much on that, your spider-sense is telling you there's something behind you!

You might not be as experienced as Kaine, but you aren't so green that you're going to ignore that alarm bell going off in your head.

Besides, you're the kind of girl who tries to look forward in life, so here's some webbing aimed at the face, Kaine, in hopes it works as a brief distraction, because you're going forward, over his head.]

[If Kaine were more familiar with alternate dimension shenanigans, this fight would be over already. But unfortunately he isn't, and he's only getting angrier the more he hears.] Parker doesn't have a daughter. Try again.

[Kaine knows he should be in jail for a lot of things, but pissing off the Kingpin wasn't one of them. In fact, the Kingpin was one of the few people not trying to kill him at the moment.] Now I know you stopped studying at Peter. Try again.

[You know what he enjoys? Not seeing the future anymore. You know what he hates? The loss of his spider sense. The webbing hits him smack in the lens and rather than try to remove it he just rips the damn mask off his face. He drops into a defensive stance as he tries to figure out where his little fake niece went.]

Edited 2013-09-12 23:51 (UTC)

[Now that you're behind him, you can see the web he was setting up- did he really think he could catch you in that? The fact that he made it says so. It's just as well, since it means he wasn't giving this fight his all.

With that, you barrel right into him, with hopes that with enough momentum you can reverse which spider's going to end up caught in this web!]

The fact that I'm right here says he did!

[Fuck! Kaine tries to grapple with the Spider Girl, to flip her, to break her stride, anything to stop him from hurtling towards his own damn web, but he wasn't that lucky.]

What now?

[That was close!]

We talk without fighting.

[He can't blame a girl for trying, right?]

I think we might be from different dimensions, or something along those lines.

[Slides a stinger out of his wrist and prepares to cut himself free.]

I have nothing to say to you. [....Just the notion of alternate dimensions is making his head hurt.]

Nothing? Really?

I know we didn't get off on the right foot, [Talk about downplaying the situation!] but there has to be something I can say to make you believe me.

[Cliche thing to say, but you're running out of ideas!]

[He had to admit, this girl was really selling this whole Parker daughter thing. Not that he believed her, but it took serious devotion to hold onto the act that long. And if there's one thing he's learned from Aracely, it's that she's not going to stop until she says what's on her mind. So new plan: let her talk and then make her Parker's problem the second she leaves.

Kaine cuts himself free and crosses his arms.] Pretend I believe you.

Anonymous Questions meme

Kaine | Marvel 616

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