Everyone loves to give gifts, right? Whether it's for a birthday, Christmas, a wedding shower, or a housewarming gift, it's time to get caught up in the spirit of love, joy, and generosity. Not all gifts are very nice, though. Someone might make you brownies while you're on a diet, or you'll get a gift card to someplace you've never even heard of. And then there are these gifts, the gifts so horrible no one should ever give them...
But for some reason? You just received one. Good luck with that, and try to survive the occasion!
1. Post your character and list any preferences you have
2. Use a random number generator to pick a scenario (1 - 5) and a gift (1 - 20) to decide what you're getting! Or...
3. ...Wait for someone to reply and just plot it out. Go nuts!
4. Play nice and have fun. Respect people's preferences and all that.
5. Consider rule 5 a trigger warning? Some of this stuff might be uncomfortable, so please be clear about what you do/don't want!
1. Someone is upset with you, and they either sent you the gift or delivered it personally. You know who the gift is from, though!
2. The cursed gift is anonymous. It's just a package left on your doorstep, or maybe it was already on your table? Creepy...but friendly! What could possibly go wrong?
3. The gift wasn't mean for you. Maybe you were supposed to deliver it yourself or it just ended up in the wrong hands...either way, you're using it.
4. You bought it for yourself/yourselves! There are some strange things on Ebay, right? And there's nothing wrong with spoiling yourself once in a while.
5. You found it! Finders keepers, losers...are probably better off. Who can resist free?
6. Make your own!
1. Perfume/Cologne: Some people just want to be irresistible, don't they? Whoever uses this gift will find that they're suddenly just that. Only...it might not work well at all. You might only attract animals, or you might attract the opposite of your desired gender. Or maybe even worse, it will work on everyone...too much of a good thing, right?
2. Lingerie: Oh, these look nice. Silky and black, or maybe they're lacey and red? Either way, someone probably wants you to wear them...and it might not be your special someone. Wearing the gift (or maybe just touching it for too long) will make you fall head over heels for the person who gave them to you...even if you hated them before, even if they're disgusting. At least you'll be happy about it?
3. Dollhouse: You're never too old to play with dolls! It's even more fun collecting them, and you're just about to get another one: You! You could end up any kind of doll; porcelain, plastic, rag...you're about to have plenty of time on your hands. Maybe someone will play with you?
4. Board game: This one seems normal...at first. What's this card, though? Go to jail? Well, here come the police, and they just found that body you hid. Oh, this space says "In the jungle, you must wait, until the dice read 5 or 8." Better hope everyone keeps playing, because in this game, reality warps to match what the cards and spaces tell you they do!
5. Rings: Diamonds a girl's best friend, and they look pretty fly on your guy, too. Once you slip your new ring on, you won't be taking it off ever again. Why would you want to? As an added bonus, you're now linked to whoever wears the other ring! You can feel what they're feeling, hear what they're thinking, see what they're seeing...don't get too close, though. You might end up as one...permanently.
6. Cutlery: Everyone can use a good knife every now and then. For cooking, right? Right. Except when you pick up one of these knives, you start feeling extremely angry...extremely violent...they just have to pay for what they've done to you, right? Or maybe you'll take it out on the next person you see...
7. Leather collar: Well, getting gifts for your pet is certainly...normal. Who's to judge? Only, when you pick up this collar, you have the strangest feeling that it's for you instead. Wearing it will make you completely submissive. Maybe you'll gain a tail or two, or maybe you'll wake up the next morning as an alligator. In every scenario, though, you're no longer a person. You're a pet. Enjoy it.
8. Flash Drive: For the computer geek or student in your family! Just use it once, and all of your memories will be nicely stored on it. Good luck getting them off! Funny how some things only work once, huh? Maybe someone can get them off for you, or maybe they're all gone for good. Hopefully, you can trust the next person you see...
9. Camera: Perfect for a party! Everyone needs to upload these to Facebook, pronto. Only...this camera...was there a sixth person in this picture before? Whoever uses this camera will start seeing things they shouldn't. Are they ghosts or illusions? They seem to want you to join them...better be careful, because you're more accident prone than before, too.
10. Toy soldiers: Everyone loves the nutcracker! ...Or maybe not. How about those little green army men? Or those action figures? Play with one of these, and you'll finally have a perfectly sculpted body...of plastic! Complete with a duty to serve whoever owns you, these toys are perfect for those who don't want to play with the dollhouse.
11. Cigars: For the more refined gentlemen and madames on your Christmas list! Except...how odd, these seem to be handed out more often to the younger audience. No matter. Whoever smokes one of these cigars will find themselves aging. Maybe they'll gain a few years of weight, or lose twenty years of their life. It will show, though. Hopefully, being young was fun for you!
12. Pacifier: Haha, what a mature gift. Instead of growing older like the cigar, you're suddenly growing younger just for touching the thing. You won't become an infant (not unless you want to, at least) but you could become a young adult, a kid, a teenager...you might not want to try driving anytime soon.
13. Down Pillow: It's so soft! It's firm, too, somehow...just perfect for anyone. Why would you (yawn) ever want to sleep with anything else? For that matter...why would you ever want to wake up? (Yawn) Sleeping is just...too perfect...wake me never...
14. Red Wine: Everyone needs a drink, especially during the holiday season. It's a bit strange-tasting, though...and isn't that a bit too off-color? This gift is perfect for the blood-lovers, because there's a bit of blood in that glass you just drank. Enjoy the new fangs and the bloodlust, and try to hold onto your sanity. Some might say this is the best gift of all...!
15. Voodoo Doll: Now, this is a cute doll! Don't worry, you're not going to be played with. Just try to keep this doll in a safe place. I wouldn't throw it away if I were you. Ouch! Your cat's fangs are certainly painful, aren't they? Only, the cat is biting the doll, not you. ...Wait! No, Fluffy, no! Don't throw the doll into the fire! Can you be trusted with your own fate?
16. Monkey's paw: Your wishes will all come true, your wishes will all come true~! This thing may be gross, but that million dollars you wished for? Congratulations, you just had someone give you a million dollars...as a result of a money laundering scheme. Enjoy prison. You want to be fit and have people look at you? You might just "wake up" as a mannequin. All of your wishes will go horribly wrong, even the innocent ones.
17. Genie's lamp: It's all about the wishes, isn't it? Only...this lamp is empty. Oh well, guess whoever rubs this lamp will have to take care of that. People who receive this gift will become genies/djinn and serve their masters as best they can...and then the next master...and the master after that...won't anyone free you?
18. Wind Chimes: These are lovely. They make the sweetest sound when the wind jingles them just right...it's a good thing, because it's always stormy out. It's much safer inside, you'll start to realize. Hanging up these wind chimes will make you never want to leave your house again. You can tell what the weather's like just from opening your window and looking...right at those chimes...
19. Scarf: Hasn't it been extra snowy lately? This gift is extremely thoughtful! Wearing something like this will make the cold feel like nothing to you. And...it will make everything else feel like nothing, too. Your sense of taste and smell will slowly vanish, as will your ability to feel temperature or things you pick up with your own hands. Soon, you won't be angry or sad, either...but that's alright. Just let me know--is the coffee hot? Or is it cold?
20. Marionette: An old puppet doesn't make for the greatest gift, but it will certainly keep things lively...because it's alive! It moves when you aren't looking, and sometimes? It moves when you are. It won't be long before it's chasing you, trying to kill you, or turning you into a puppet like himself...puppets are never lonely when they come in a pair.
21. Make your own! There are plenty of awful gifts out there, right?
Original meme credit hateshumans