tabiya: (Default)
tabiya ([personal profile] tabiya) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet2013-09-01 01:34 am

the cursed gift meme

THE CURSED GIFT MEME



Everyone loves to give gifts, right? Whether it's for a birthday, Christmas, a wedding shower, or a housewarming gift, it's time to get caught up in the spirit of love, joy, and generosity. Not all gifts are very nice, though. Someone might make you brownies while you're on a diet, or you'll get a gift card to someplace you've never even heard of. And then there are these gifts, the gifts so horrible no one should ever give them...

But for some reason? You just received one. Good luck with that, and try to survive the occasion!

Rules:
1. Post your character and list any preferences you have
2. Use a random number generator to pick a scenario (1 - 5) and a gift (1 - 20) to decide what you're getting! Or...
3. ...Wait for someone to reply and just plot it out. Go nuts!
4. Play nice and have fun. Respect people's preferences and all that.
5. Consider rule 5 a trigger warning? Some of this stuff might be uncomfortable, so please be clear about what you do/don't want!


Possible Scenarios:
1. Someone is upset with you, and they either sent you the gift or delivered it personally. You know who the gift is from, though!
2. The cursed gift is anonymous. It's just a package left on your doorstep, or maybe it was already on your table? Creepy...but friendly! What could possibly go wrong?
3. The gift wasn't mean for you. Maybe you were supposed to deliver it yourself or it just ended up in the wrong hands...either way, you're using it.
4. You bought it for yourself/yourselves! There are some strange things on Ebay, right? And there's nothing wrong with spoiling yourself once in a while.
5. You found it! Finders keepers, losers...are probably better off. Who can resist free?
6. Make your own!

Cursed Gift:
1. Perfume/Cologne: Some people just want to be irresistible, don't they? Whoever uses this gift will find that they're suddenly just that. Only...it might not work well at all. You might only attract animals, or you might attract the opposite of your desired gender. Or maybe even worse, it will work on everyone...too much of a good thing, right?

2. Lingerie: Oh, these look nice. Silky and black, or maybe they're lacey and red? Either way, someone probably wants you to wear them...and it might not be your special someone. Wearing the gift (or maybe just touching it for too long) will make you fall head over heels for the person who gave them to you...even if you hated them before, even if they're disgusting. At least you'll be happy about it?

3. Dollhouse: You're never too old to play with dolls! It's even more fun collecting them, and you're just about to get another one: You! You could end up any kind of doll; porcelain, plastic, rag...you're about to have plenty of time on your hands. Maybe someone will play with you?

4. Board game: This one seems normal...at first. What's this card, though? Go to jail? Well, here come the police, and they just found that body you hid. Oh, this space says "In the jungle, you must wait, until the dice read 5 or 8." Better hope everyone keeps playing, because in this game, reality warps to match what the cards and spaces tell you they do!

5. Rings: Diamonds a girl's best friend, and they look pretty fly on your guy, too. Once you slip your new ring on, you won't be taking it off ever again. Why would you want to? As an added bonus, you're now linked to whoever wears the other ring! You can feel what they're feeling, hear what they're thinking, see what they're seeing...don't get too close, though. You might end up as one...permanently.

6. Cutlery: Everyone can use a good knife every now and then. For cooking, right? Right. Except when you pick up one of these knives, you start feeling extremely angry...extremely violent...they just have to pay for what they've done to you, right? Or maybe you'll take it out on the next person you see...

7. Leather collar: Well, getting gifts for your pet is certainly...normal. Who's to judge? Only, when you pick up this collar, you have the strangest feeling that it's for you instead. Wearing it will make you completely submissive. Maybe you'll gain a tail or two, or maybe you'll wake up the next morning as an alligator. In every scenario, though, you're no longer a person. You're a pet. Enjoy it.

8. Flash Drive: For the computer geek or student in your family! Just use it once, and all of your memories will be nicely stored on it. Good luck getting them off! Funny how some things only work once, huh? Maybe someone can get them off for you, or maybe they're all gone for good. Hopefully, you can trust the next person you see...

9. Camera: Perfect for a party! Everyone needs to upload these to Facebook, pronto. Only...this camera...was there a sixth person in this picture before? Whoever uses this camera will start seeing things they shouldn't. Are they ghosts or illusions? They seem to want you to join them...better be careful, because you're more accident prone than before, too.

10. Toy soldiers: Everyone loves the nutcracker! ...Or maybe not. How about those little green army men? Or those action figures? Play with one of these, and you'll finally have a perfectly sculpted body...of plastic! Complete with a duty to serve whoever owns you, these toys are perfect for those who don't want to play with the dollhouse.

11. Cigars: For the more refined gentlemen and madames on your Christmas list! Except...how odd, these seem to be handed out more often to the younger audience. No matter. Whoever smokes one of these cigars will find themselves aging. Maybe they'll gain a few years of weight, or lose twenty years of their life. It will show, though. Hopefully, being young was fun for you!

12. Pacifier: Haha, what a mature gift. Instead of growing older like the cigar, you're suddenly growing younger just for touching the thing. You won't become an infant (not unless you want to, at least) but you could become a young adult, a kid, a teenager...you might not want to try driving anytime soon.

13. Down Pillow: It's so soft! It's firm, too, somehow...just perfect for anyone. Why would you (yawn) ever want to sleep with anything else? For that matter...why would you ever want to wake up? (Yawn) Sleeping is just...too perfect...wake me never...

14. Red Wine: Everyone needs a drink, especially during the holiday season. It's a bit strange-tasting, though...and isn't that a bit too off-color? This gift is perfect for the blood-lovers, because there's a bit of blood in that glass you just drank. Enjoy the new fangs and the bloodlust, and try to hold onto your sanity. Some might say this is the best gift of all...!

15. Voodoo Doll: Now, this is a cute doll! Don't worry, you're not going to be played with. Just try to keep this doll in a safe place. I wouldn't throw it away if I were you. Ouch! Your cat's fangs are certainly painful, aren't they? Only, the cat is biting the doll, not you. ...Wait! No, Fluffy, no! Don't throw the doll into the fire! Can you be trusted with your own fate?

16. Monkey's paw: Your wishes will all come true, your wishes will all come true~! This thing may be gross, but that million dollars you wished for? Congratulations, you just had someone give you a million dollars...as a result of a money laundering scheme. Enjoy prison. You want to be fit and have people look at you? You might just "wake up" as a mannequin. All of your wishes will go horribly wrong, even the innocent ones.

17. Genie's lamp: It's all about the wishes, isn't it? Only...this lamp is empty. Oh well, guess whoever rubs this lamp will have to take care of that. People who receive this gift will become genies/djinn and serve their masters as best they can...and then the next master...and the master after that...won't anyone free you?

18. Wind Chimes: These are lovely. They make the sweetest sound when the wind jingles them just right...it's a good thing, because it's always stormy out. It's much safer inside, you'll start to realize. Hanging up these wind chimes will make you never want to leave your house again. You can tell what the weather's like just from opening your window and looking...right at those chimes...

19. Scarf: Hasn't it been extra snowy lately? This gift is extremely thoughtful! Wearing something like this will make the cold feel like nothing to you. And...it will make everything else feel like nothing, too. Your sense of taste and smell will slowly vanish, as will your ability to feel temperature or things you pick up with your own hands. Soon, you won't be angry or sad, either...but that's alright. Just let me know--is the coffee hot? Or is it cold?

20. Marionette: An old puppet doesn't make for the greatest gift, but it will certainly keep things lively...because it's alive! It moves when you aren't looking, and sometimes? It moves when you are. It won't be long before it's chasing you, trying to kill you, or turning you into a puppet like himself...puppets are never lonely when they come in a pair.

21. Make your own! There are plenty of awful gifts out there, right?

Original meme credit [personal profile] hateshumans
hitorabu: (♕)

Orihara Izaya | Durarara!! | OTA

[personal profile] hitorabu 2013-09-01 01:57 pm (UTC)(link)
(If Izaya is the recipient, I would prefer to avoid 11, 12, and 14; I'd love 7 (though I'd rather keep him human for that) or 13 in particular, but open to the others, too.)
dissectinghersmile: (Shinra Kishitani: psychiatrist)

I am laaaate but 7

[personal profile] dissectinghersmile 2013-09-03 04:40 am (UTC)(link)
It's what they call a 'gag gift', Izaya-kun.

[Shinra can't help but chuckle lightly at Izaya's reaction to the collar. It certainly did have unfortunate connotations, but that's not what Shinra was going for. Frankly, he hadn't had any ideas of what to get as a gift. He didn't even want to get the bastard a birthday present... at least, not until he realized what a great opportunity this would be. He had been playing with some very interesting concepts after all... not as scientific as usual, but he couldn't resist doing a little more research into the idea of curses.

He was certain this collar was just a scam, another mystery built on the lies of an insane old woman and the unfailing faith of naive teenagers, but... he had to do a few tests first. Just to make sure that this really was a hoax.]


I'm sorry I couldn't find you something more interesting, but you are a little difficult to buy for.
hitorabu: (♟)

8D THERE IS NO LATE!

[personal profile] hitorabu 2013-09-03 09:44 am (UTC)(link)
It's certainly in the same category as gags.

[Pouting, Izaya walks over to a table and puts the gift box with the collar down, though he doesn't let go of it just yet. He was half surprised to get a birthday present from Shinra at all; truth be told, it's kind of flattering. But this?

It's the sheer wrongness of it, no doubt, that makes Izaya incapable of taking his eyes off the collar, lying there like a perfect circle. Belatedly taking it from the box after all, he holds it up by a single finger, tilting his head a little as he studies it.]


I'd tell you you should keep it, but it would be useless on the love of your life anyway. That's one disadvantage of not having a head. If she'd even allow you that kind of play...

[There's the slightest trace of distaste in the words - sex in itself isn't all that interesting, and sex with a monster is kind of disgusting - but they come out too distracted to truly sting the way they were probably meant to. It really is a nice collar, and Izaya unfastens it to put it around his neck without even meaning to. Certainly he shouldn't do that, even as a joke - not in front of Shinra, giving him the satisfaction of seeing Izaya wear the collar - but he can't help it. It simply feels right, and it feels a lot better still when he slides the little strip of leather into the clasp and closes the collar.

It's a perfect fit. Izaya's fingers linger on the collar, enjoying the feel of it. There was a point he had to make, he's pretty sure, but it doesn't seem important anymore.]
Edited (argh, disappearing words) 2013-09-03 09:46 (UTC)
dissectinghersmile: (Shinra Kishitani: pediatrician)

PROMISE? ;A;

[personal profile] dissectinghersmile 2013-09-06 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
[Well, he certainly seems intrigued, at the very least. Shinra's mischievous smile increases, but he doesn't say a word about the curse. Especially now that it seems to be coming true-no.

Shinra's being ridiculous. There's no chance this collar actually does affect someone's mental state. Even for someone who's engaged to a Dullahan, this is ridiculous.]


Now that's just offensive. I assure you, I'm not at all into that kind of thing. Celty is really the one who owns me, after all.

[He would do absolutely anything for her, after all. Perhaps his earlier manipulation regarding her head made it seem like he desired ownership, but he just needed her with him. Just one little thing, so she could remain his entire world.

...Well, his entire world besides these rare moments when study got in the way. He raises an eyebrow at Izaya, now that he's putting on the collar, but his smile doesn't disappear.]


Well now. If you don't like the gift, why are you wearing it?
hitorabu: (♗)

Izaya is 21 forever, he can wait as long as you want him to.

[personal profile] hitorabu 2013-09-06 04:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Hmm?

[Izaya turns to Shinra a little too quickly, fingers dropping from the collar before he looks at them, puzzled. Yes, he certainly put the collar on, didn't he? But really, why wouldn't he? It feels nice. And wasn't putting it on the reason why Shinra gave it to him? It must have been, surely?]

I presumed you wanted me to at least try it on. Was I wrong?

[Leaning back against the edge of the table, Izaya is the picture of relaxation, as he so often is. The smile's still on his lips, but all the same, that question is out there. Did he do something wrong?]
dissectinghersmile: (Shinra Kishitani: specialist)

Oh, got some neglect play going on here

[personal profile] dissectinghersmile 2013-09-15 05:42 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, I certainly did want you to try it on. I just found it odd how easily you accepted it.

[Odd, but certainly intriguing... He definitely needs to do a little more before he's certain that there's actually a curse on this collar. Izaya could simply be fooling around, of course.]

Well, as thanks for my great gift, why don't you get me a coffee? You do still know how I like it, don't you?

[It's worded naturally, teasingly. Just a 'friend' asking to be treated like a proper guest. Still, it's more than Izaya would usually do for anyone, and Shinra's still a skeptic. He's expecting a retaliation from Izaya, wherein Shinra will be forced to get his drink himself.]
hitorabu: (♙)

So cruel to your best friend.

[personal profile] hitorabu 2013-09-15 12:58 pm (UTC)(link)
That's what friends are for, right?

[So of course he accepted the collar. Everything is easily explained; there's nothing at all unusual about any of this.

That said, it really does feel remarkably good to wear the collar, a strange calm settling in, like all the background noise of the world is fading away, leaving only two longtime friends (of a sort) getting together for a chat.]


Right, right... Won't take a minute.

[The words are casual and unworried, Izaya heading to the kitchen area right away, though not in any rush. Again, this is nothing but normal... isn't it? He's just getting a guest some coffee. No big deal. Izaya can explain away everything that should be raising some serious questions.]
dissectinghersmile: (Shinra Kishitani: specialist)

Well it's pretty sad when you're his best friend. He needs to abuse you to feel better.

[personal profile] dissectinghersmile 2013-09-18 05:10 am (UTC)(link)
Mmhmm. Though I thought we were friends in the loosest sense of the term.

[Still, Shinra won't call Izaya out on anything bizarre in this whole experience. He certainly doesn't have a problem if Izaya doesn't. Apparently this curse does wonders on Izaya's attitude problem as well as his rebellious issues.

The doctor's smile widens just a fraction, and he leans back in his seat as he waits for Izaya to return with his coffee. Interesting... very interesting. Shinra isn't sure what to make of this, but Izaya's 180 from his regular personality at least seems genuine. Still, a coffee is too easy. Shinra will need to try a command not so easy to follow before he trusts Izaya's not just tricking him.]
hitorabu: (♖)

Ouch, right in the hito rabu. Except not really.

[personal profile] hitorabu 2013-09-19 08:29 am (UTC)(link)
You should know better than most that I love all humans. Still, there's no doubt that, by other people's standards, you're the only friend I have.

[That's always been hilarious on some level, though it comes with a certain feeling of warmth, now. A joke? Yes, maybe still a joke. But an inside joke, for just the two of them. Something nice, something shared.

A few minutes later, he returns with the coffee, offering it to Shinra. It's definitely the way Shinra normally takes it; Izaya pays attention to people's eating and drinking habits for his own reasons.]


There you go.
dissectinghersmile: (Shinra Kishitani: geneticist)

[personal profile] dissectinghersmile 2013-09-25 10:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Interesting that you would admit that. I would have thought you were still hiding under your hallucination of popularity, but it seems you will admit that knowing someone does not exactly equal liking them.

[He's a little bewildered by the touch of kindness in Izaya's voice, but he certainly doesn't show it. Instead, he smiles and takes the coffee, having a sip.]

Mm. Perfect. I have to say, Izaya-kun, you would be a perfect barista if you weren't so set on being an informant.

[Which is why it's a shame that he'll have to waste it. He has a few more sips, then sets it down on the table... then obviously, purposely knocks it over.]

Oh! How clumsy of me. Izaya-kun, get something to wipe this up.

[If Izaya was normal, he'd refuse Shinra's request, instead calling him out on the obvious staging of the spill. But with Izaya wearing this odd collar, just how would he react?]
hitorabu: (♟)

[personal profile] hitorabu 2013-09-28 10:10 am (UTC)(link)
[As Shinra accepts the coffee, Izaya feels like yet another thing that was missing in his life slides into place. Pleased and remarkably calm, he sits down, relaxing further.]

Hmm, no, it really doesn't. If I wanted to make people love me, that would be easy enough. [And has been so, in the past. Izaya just doesn't care enough to keep up the act.] As it is, most people have every reason to hate me.

[The compliment about being the perfect barista gets a smile, but the warmth spreading through Izaya quickly comes to a halt when Shinra knocks the coffee over. Surely that was on purpose? But why would he -...?]

Shinra, you need to be more careful. [Izaya's voice is disapproving, bordering on whiny - but he gets up sure enough, heading to the kitchen for paper towels and maybe a wet cloth to take care of the stains.] You could have burned yourself, you know!
dissectinghersmile: (Shinra Kishitani: immunologist)

[personal profile] dissectinghersmile 2013-10-08 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
Easy enough? And how would you go about making someone love you? Maybe you'd do things like getting a friend coffee, wouldn't you? I'm flattered, Izaya-kun, but I already have a wonderful partner. So it seems you're going to be hated a little while longer.

[He chuckles at Izaya's whine, a hand going up to cover his grin... and then his pondering look as Izaya so easily cleans up the mess. He didn't even complain that much about having to clean it up, just immediately head for the kitchen. Not only that, but his only protests had been because of the hazard to Shinra's safety. This was certainly a new development... Was this collar really causing Izaya to put Shinra first? It's completely ridiculous, but somehow it's happening right before his eyes.]

I'm sorry... I didn't burn myself, so there's certainly no need to worry.

[His voice is quiet, thoughtful, and he keeps his eyes trained on the entrance to the kitchen, studying Izaya's next move.]
hitorabu: (♔)

[personal profile] hitorabu 2013-10-09 12:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Now, now, surely there's no need to be so harsh?

[It's a gentle murmur more than an actual complaint. Izaya knows that Shinra hates him, but it kind of hurts, hearing it said so bluntly - and yes, he would like to be loved a little more for doing what he does. He's trying, isn't he? There has to be something he can do that would make Shinra love him... Oh, not like that - well, Izaya wouldn't reject that kind of love, but it's not his main purpose. To avoid being hated would be worth any sacrifice, though.

So yes, of course he rushes to clean things up. It's the least he can do.]


I'm glad to hear it. Really, I don't know what I'd do if -...

[If Shinra got hurt because of something Izaya did - even something as well-meant as making coffee. Letting out a soft breath, Izaya forces a smile. That's a little silly to think about, isn't it?]

I'm glad, anyway. Just a moment, I'll get you a new coffee.
dissectinghersmile: (Shinra Kishitani: optometrist)

[personal profile] dissectinghersmile 2013-10-28 02:04 am (UTC)(link)
You're right. There's no real need... but I still want to.

[Strange, though... Izaya almost sounds upset at that. He supposes if this theory of his is correct, Izaya would want love and affection from Shinra, as a pet would. It's still a little bizarre having Izaya actually care, though, so Shinra can't help but gape quietly before making a little note in his journal. If this keeps up, he'll definitely need to continue his study... which shouldn't be so hard, with a willing subject right in front of him.

He raises an eyebrow as Izaya trails off.]


If...? Listen, Izaya-kun, you shouldn't worry so much. And don't bother with that coffee just yet. Just... sit down for a moment, please?

[And, if Izaya listens to him (and Shinra would be surprised if he didn't), he may find one of the doctor's hands going up to gently pat him on the head.]
hitorabu: (♙)

[personal profile] hitorabu 2013-10-29 03:18 pm (UTC)(link)
[Of course Izaya does as requested, sitting down next to Shinra - and until that point, he's as human as human can be, if a little nicer than usual. The moment Shinra pats his head, though, everything changes. Izaya leans into the touch without even thinking about it, arching his back to both get his head closer to Shinra and lower it, putting himself lower both literally and figuratively.]

Mmmmm, Shinraaa...

[Izaya didn't even know he wanted to be touched that way, but now that it's happened, he wants more of it. He's even going to pull his legs up on the couch next to him so he can lean in the better.]

Don't stoooop...
dissectinghersmile: (Shinra Kishitani: geriatrician)

[personal profile] dissectinghersmile 2013-10-30 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[Shinra is shocked by the sudden change in Izaya's demeanor, his hand almost halting in its movement with the surprise. Of course, he manages to get a hold of himself, and is reminded that even if Izaya seems to be compliant, cats have claws. Izaya may not be a faithful pet if his requests are ignored.

So he keeps on petting him, even as one hand reaches for a notepad so Shinra can record his findings. After a moment, he speaks again, voice quiet and soothing on impulse.]


Izaya... do you mind answering a question or two for me? I'm wondering why you think you're doing what you're doing. Why did you want to do what I asked you to do? And why do you like it when I touch you?
hitorabu: (♚)

[personal profile] hitorabu 2013-10-31 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
[Oh, but this feels fantastic. When leaning in isn't enough anymore, Izaya headbutts Shinra's hand insistently, demanding more. He's on his hands and knees on the couch by this point.]

Why do you like your coffee the way you do? [Silly Shinra. Such a foolish question.] Do I need a reason? I just like it.

[And at that, he flops onto his back, dumping his head in Shinra's lap, and giving him the widest, most cat-like smile. Hopefully Shinra's notebook wasn't in the way - but then, Izaya won't care if it was.

Not unless Shinra tells him off about it, at least.]
Edited (... icon fail. Chrome, I hate you.) 2013-10-31 18:04 (UTC)
dissectinghersmile: (Shinra Kishitani: oncologist)

[personal profile] dissectinghersmile 2013-11-12 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
[He's bewildered by the nudging, but he keeps up the petting, even scratching a little bit at the back of Izaya's head where his hair meets the tip of his neck.]

I... suppose you don't need a reason, but I was simply curious as to what you're thinking.

[Regardless, he jots down a few notes... after giving Izaya a small glare and tugging the notebook out from under him. The radical change in Izaya's personality is one that needs to be documented...]

Izaya, would you mind if I filmed you like this?
hitorabu: (♖)

[personal profile] hitorabu 2013-11-17 04:10 pm (UTC)(link)
If you want~!

[His tone is so playful and friendly, it's borderline suggestive. That's not really how Izaya means it, but between the pet-like tendencies and the partial shutting down of his overly active brain, he's suddenly a very physical creature indeed - and Shinra's petting and scratching only confirms how right that is.]

Like this?

[Tilting his head, he rolls back and forth a little in Shinra's lap. If Izaya was an actual cat, he'd swat at Shinra's pen or his notepad, but - at least for now - those urges aren't present.]
dissectinghersmile: (Shinra Kishitani: surgeon)

[personal profile] dissectinghersmile 2013-11-20 09:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Wait, slow down, Izaya, I'd need to get my camera first!

[This is probably the most bizarre experience Shinra's ever had with Izaya, and if he's quite honest, he's not sure if he prefers this new, affectionate Izaya or the sneaky, selfish person he'd known before. Sure, this is nice, but more than a little disturbing. Izaya's face just wasn't made for genuine happiness, nor was his skinny body made for cuddling and petting.

He sits up a bit more, trying to get Izaya off of him before digging in his bag, pulling out a camera. It's usually reserved for his jobs with Yagiri, but this is more important than some silly surgeries right now.]
hitorabu: (♗)

[personal profile] hitorabu 2013-11-22 01:03 pm (UTC)(link)
[Excuse you, his body is perfect for cuddling. You'll never know how perfect. ;_;

Izaya only gets off Shinra when he really can't help it anymore, and he sends a brief but harsh glare Shinra's way. While Izaya tries to be patient, everything is - predictably - going far too slow for his liking, no matter how brief it really is. On all fours again, he pokes his head at Shinra's back.]


Shinraaa, pet me already.

[He's complaining, but it's more pouty than strictly annoyed. Izaya just wants to be petted! What's wrong with that?! Love him a little already!]
dissectinghersmile: (Shinra Kishitani: geneticist)

[personal profile] dissectinghersmile 2013-12-10 09:35 pm (UTC)(link)
[Shinra glares back, and, after thinking on it a moment, swats Izaya’s nose.]

No. You have to wait… Bad boy.

[The words are so strange to use when talking to Izaya and not some sort of animal, but Shinra does his best to stay calm and sound properly angry. His voice is low, and his sentences are short and clipped. Hopefully that will teach Izaya a lesson. Shinra turns his back on the other man again, adjusting the settings on his camera before recording a short opening to the video.]

Okay, Izaya. I think I’m ready now. Are you going to be good this time?
~*~