texts from last night? must be saturday.

[thanksalotforthememe]

*Pick your poison from here or make your own. Or leave it blank.
*Others respond.
*Comedy/awkwardness/sexy ensues.
*????
*PROFIT!

Comments

[afieldsmedal]

I feel like that doesn't bode well for anyone's genitalia here.

[oceanfloor]

you might have a point, but who cares?

[ ... any potential bed partner might chuck gosh ]

[afieldsmedal]

[ oh, so we go the other than the obvious route. ]

The makers of surgical lubricant. Van Horn and Sawtell probably consider it sacrilegious.

[oceanfloor]

[ there is no appreciation for your genius here, lydia, none. ]

are you some travelling lube salesman? because otherwise that's just creepy

[afieldsmedal]

[ wow that's rude, she took four seconds to do the research and everything. maybe sarcasm will fair better. ]

Yes. Precisely. That's exactly what I am. Don't hurt anyone, okay? I'll lose my job.

[oceanfloor]

[ sarcasm is the language of chuck's heart and don't let anyone tell you differently. ]

sure. i'll buy an xl bucket and all, make your day.

[afieldsmedal]

I'd say an extra large bucket would definitely alleviate some of that ferocity.

[oceanfloor]

how did i get your number anyway?

1/3

[afieldsmedal]

What, you don't save the numbers of random lube salesmen and text them for fun?

[afieldsmedal]

No, I don't know. I'm going to guess I'm a few digits shy of whoever you meant to text.

[afieldsmedal]

[ and a second or two later. ]

Is this an Australian area code?

[ that's probably more than "a few digits shy"... ]

[oceanfloor]

so you're NOT an australian lube salesman? i'm disappointed. shipping's gonna cost me, huh

[afieldsmedal]

Yeah, the cost of my international texts on my next phone bill. Also, find yourself a drug store.

[oceanfloor]

so stop texting back. i don't need lube i'm not getting laid anyway

[afieldsmedal]

Why not? If you're that repressed, there's no hurt in a little fun.

[oceanfloor]

yeah i don't need my dad seeing that

[afieldsmedal]

Um. Lock your door?

[oceanfloor]

that's not gonna help in the drift

[afieldsmedal]

[ oh.

oh!

...oooooooh. don't mind me; just gonna casually slip into pacrim canon yup sure why not. ]

Right, you're a pilot. Of course you are. Tell me, do you get paid well because I was seriously about paying my phone bill.

[oceanfloor]

Send a bill to the PPDC

[ not that they'll pay. not that chuck will pay. the way she sees it, you have the privilege of receiving texts from her, you can pay for it yourself. ]

[afieldsmedal]

[ entitlement is so not becoming. though sounds like someone here won't be coming, and in some round about way, everything is fair. ]

You know, I'm sure your dad would understand.

[oceanfloor]

[ aren't you entitled to a little entitlement when you do what she does, c'mon. and entitled to orgasms, too, but yeah. that's not gonna happen. ]

you don't even know my dad

[afieldsmedal]

[ BEING A DICK WON'T MAKE UP FOR A LACK OF DICK~. but yeah, no, there will be no arguing over here. maybe minimal stabs to the ego, too. ]

Does he hate you and prefer you be miserable and unhappy?

[oceanfloor]

[ DO YOU THINK SHE'D BE LESS OF A DICK WITH A DICK I MEAN COME ON ]

nah it's not that.

[afieldsmedal]

[ this is a valid point. ]

What is it then?