dousing: (Default)
memery. ([personal profile] dousing) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet2017-04-14 09:58 pm

I... AM BATMAN


CONFESSIONS MEME


We all know the typical kind of confession. I love you, I'm pregnant, I slept with your sister, whatever. This is the place for that, sure. But what about other confessions? Ones that are life-changing in different ways? Are you secretly a criminal? A monster? A "monster"? Are you confessing to murder? To taking the last cookie? Is it a false confession? Are you confessing because it's the right thing to do? Because you felt guilty? Because you got caught red-handed? Because someone is forcing you to? Are you confessing to a lover? A friend? An enemy? The cops? Batman? Are we ever going to stop asking questions?

• Top level your character. Include any details you might think are relevant. Or don't. As always, we're not the cops.
• Reply to other people's top levels!
• Have fun!

hydras_arm: Bullshit. (This is bullshit.)

1

[personal profile] hydras_arm 2017-04-15 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Wondering things you'll never have the answer to will just drive you crazy.
unmakeme: (quirk)

[personal profile] unmakeme 2017-04-15 08:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Will it really now? Well, that explains a lot.
hydras_arm: focused (Focused)

[personal profile] hydras_arm 2017-04-15 10:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Yep.

I've done a lot of wondering, too.
unmakeme: (layers)

[personal profile] unmakeme 2017-04-15 11:38 pm (UTC)(link)
One more thing we have in common.

Do you think he would have been happy? The man you might have become had life been kind, I mean.
hydras_arm: skeptical face (Do what now?)

[personal profile] hydras_arm 2017-04-16 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
Depends what happened to Steve? I dunno.

In the end I decided the man I am now isn't really capable of knowing what would've made then-me happy. It's an exercise in futility.
unmakeme: (pic#4938770)

[personal profile] unmakeme 2017-04-16 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
What other opinions does the man you are now have on happiness?
hydras_arm: The Asset Defiant (defiant)

[personal profile] hydras_arm 2017-04-16 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
Pancakes are good.
unmakeme: (quirk)

[personal profile] unmakeme 2017-04-16 02:55 am (UTC)(link)
That's sudden and unexpected enough to startle a laugh out of her.

"Yeah. They're-- pancakes are pretty great."
hydras_arm: (smile)

[personal profile] hydras_arm 2017-04-16 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
His mouth twitches in a hint of a smile.

"Pancakes are the best." He has a very firm opinion on this.

"Gotta take the good where we can find it, right?"
unmakeme: (go on. impress me)

[personal profile] unmakeme 2017-04-16 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
"I don't know. I've had homemade waffles."

She's giving him shit, but hopefully it's the safe kind of shit you can give someone who used to want to kill you without their temper going off explosively. Nothing about him seems that explosive right now.

"What else makes you happy?"
hydras_arm: skeptical face (Do what now?)

[personal profile] hydras_arm 2017-04-16 02:04 pm (UTC)(link)
"Those must be hard to make at home..." He's clearly intrigued, anyway. Breakfast foods are his weak point.

Giving people shit, though, there's a kind of safety in that. He gives Steve shit all the time, and Steve just beams at him for it like it's the best thing in the world, along with serving it right back. Whoever Bucky used to be, he must have been almost as mouthy as he is now.

"Fuck if I know. Still working on that."
unmakeme: (quirk)

[personal profile] unmakeme 2017-04-21 09:03 pm (UTC)(link)
"They probably are." She isn't the one who was making them, and she isn't the greatest cook on the best of days. Clint is far better in a kitchen than she is. The Barton family is not a conversational avenue she's going down, though.

Natasha can sympathize with the feeling that you're forever a work in progress, forever feeling like she's playing catch up. At least she can come up with a list of things that make her happy, small though it may be. She has something. Everybody needs something. "I think we all are. Maybe that's the point on life, to work on your happiness list. You must have something, come on. If you could have any two things in the world right now. Pancakes and what?"

[[OOC: I just went back to catch up and realized I swapped styles half way through. Sorry. Their conversation just started to get very face-to-facey.]]
hydras_arm: rolling my eyes at you (srsly tho?)

[personal profile] hydras_arm 2017-04-23 01:15 am (UTC)(link)
[OOC: I'm flexible! This style seems most natural anyway.]

Bucky is still finding himself again, although the two years on his own before Steve ever found him were the worst part of things. Steve was spared watching him struggle through his body relearning to eat solid food, and the days when he was too terrified to go anywhere. On the one hand it's rough he had to fight through that period alone, but on the other hand he's grateful nobody else saw him like that.

These days he's mostly on an even keel, at least by comparison. "Bacon."

Yeah, that's not what she meant, and he knows it.

"I dunno. Some of the new music is pretty good."
unmakeme: (pic#4938770)

[personal profile] unmakeme 2017-04-23 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
Well, it's something. Honestly, she's not one to judge. Finding a way to be a person in her own right after she got out from under the Red Room boot-heel? It hadn't been easy. Some days it's still not easy. For a while she was just going through motions, pretending until something stuck, until she began to really feel the emotions she had been taught to ape so well.

Which is why, right now, she's focused on something small. She's got her phone out, thumb darting over the screen. "You hungry?" she asks, expecting the answer to be yes. She always expects the answer to be yes, both with Bucky and with Steve. "Get your coat."
hydras_arm: grin (big dumb grin)

[personal profile] hydras_arm 2017-04-23 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
Bucky flashes her a grin, because of course the answer is always yes, possibly even more so with him than with Steve. Bucky is a bottomless pit. He doesn't even stop to question, just lunges for a jacket and gloves, the latter to hide the metal hand. Even if it's not that cold out, he wears long sleeves, and never seems to be warm enough.

"You're driving? Or are we walking?" Focusing on the small things, like food, is probably therapeutic for them both.
unmakeme: (smile)

[personal profile] unmakeme 2017-04-23 03:32 am (UTC)(link)
"I'm driving," she confirms, grabbing her own stuff on the way out. Keys, wig, different shirt. She changes out of her comfortable worn sweatshirt before they reach the door, because it's not the best thing for diverting attention. She leaves it on the hall table, though, because she plans on changing back as soon as they return. Still, if they want to keep people from looking too hard at Bucky, nothing beats blonde hair and a tight low cut top. She doesn't have to like it to know it'll work.

The trip down to her car is a short one, and the drive to the diner boasting the yelp reviews she's after won't take that long. Hopefully he'll keep smiling all the way there. She doesn't pretend to know what it is that turns his mood every time it happens, but it is one more thing she can understand entirely.
hydras_arm: shy smile (Shy smile)

[personal profile] hydras_arm 2017-04-23 03:59 am (UTC)(link)
The clothing she's chosen gets a mild raised eyebrow, but he's no stranger to disguise tactics, even if he's not an expert himself. It's fortunate that the Winter Soldier is recognizable for the metal arm, so with that hidden he's just a well-built long-haired hobo.

Riding in a car is a lot easier than walking through crowds, so he seems fairly relaxed for that. Smiling tends to come only in brief flashes, but he seems calm and quietly pleased, so she'll have to settle for that. "You're not gonna try and make me get waffles instead of pancakes?"
unmakeme: (if i could raise my eyebrows any higher)

[personal profile] unmakeme 2017-04-23 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
Natasha's new car, like her last one, is sleek and powerful, dark windows, a safe bubble apart from the world. The streets are crowded, and she knows how Bucky tenses up in crowds. In the car, it's just her, and he can handle being with her. Not to mention, quick getaway is always easier in a car, if that becomes necessary.

"Oh, I'm absolutely going to try and make you get waffles instead of pancakes." She looks over at him, eyebrows raised so high they peek above the frames of her sunglasses. "Was that not made very clear?" She grins, and reaches down to turn on the radio. "Why don't you find us some of that new music that's pretty good?"
hydras_arm: rolling my eyes at you (srsly tho?)

[personal profile] hydras_arm 2017-04-23 04:16 am (UTC)(link)
"Yeah? Well there'd better be bacon, too." He leans over a little but fiddles with the radio buttons with his left hand, dexterous enough for that kind of small detail as long as he watches while he's doing it. The amount of fine control he has over the metal arm is impressive, but he doesn't really know how it works, he only knows what he can and can't do.

"Not promising to be a convert, but I guess breakfast food in general is pretty good. Do they put stuff in waffles like they do in pancakes? Like berries or chocolate chips?"
unmakeme: (go on. impress me)

[personal profile] unmakeme 2017-04-23 04:29 am (UTC)(link)
"Some places do, yeah." The reason for her smile is hopefully covered with the sudden stretch of road that lets her zoom around a few cars, the thrill of some real speed. "Look, just extend enough trust to let me order for you, all right? I checked out the menu already, and I know just what you should try." Only half a beat of silence, because Natasha remembers how much she used to bristle at anyone else making her choices for her, once she had the freedom to do it herself. "And next time, you can order for the both of us. Deal?"
hydras_arm: Did you mean to do that? (Welp.)

[personal profile] hydras_arm 2017-04-23 03:31 pm (UTC)(link)
There are days when Bucky wants to make his choices known, but for seventy-some years he learned how easy it was not to think, to just be a thing and let others decide every last detail for him. Admitting it out loud would upset his new teammates, and especially Steve, but there are days where he really misses that. It's easy, and even appealing, to not have to think for yourself. He's not yet far removed enough for that appeal to fade.

The fiddling with radio buttons stops on a Bastille song, and he settles back in his seat with an expression of easy affability. "Next time, I'm makin' you get pancakes." There's a hint of the smile again, and sometimes it's easy to see a flash of the lady-charming young man Steve describes Bucky as once being.
unmakeme: (pic#5006759)

[personal profile] unmakeme 2017-04-25 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
"Oh good." She takes a turn sharply and laughs a little as the force of it throws them both back against their seats. "I love pancakes." The horns blaring in her wake also amuse her. It's the little things in life, after all.

Like finding a parking space directly in front of the diner you're heading for, and Natasha parallel parks in two smooth movements, very aware of the boundaries of her car and very confident in her ability to maneuver them.

"Feed the meter," she tells Bucky, dumping some change into his hand as she comes around to his side of the car. I'll get us a table. Booth in the back, I think. Not as noisy. Coffee?" She's already breezing past him, pulling on the door that tinkles with a little bell, as all great diners doors do.
hydras_arm: skeptical face (Do what now?)

[personal profile] hydras_arm 2017-04-26 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
When she puts on speed, Bucky glances back at the cars honking as they slide past, but for a moment he almost looks like he's going to flip them off. They simply go by too fast, and he settles again with a faintly smug look.

He's looking fairly mellow, up until she dumps change into his hand and he has to scramble a little not to drop it. "Cream and sugar!" He calls after her, because he's never having his coffee black again if he's got anything to say about it. Cold black coffee was a standard in the field, during the war, but he's ready to embrace the luxuries of the future.

Feeding the meter takes a little concentration, and gives him time to brace himself for going inside. There are people, in there. He comes in looking slightly wary, lingering just inside a moment to scope the place out, then moving quickly to where he sees her chosen vantage point at the back. Natasha has excellent strategic choices, and the soldier approves.
unmakeme: (layers)

[personal profile] unmakeme 2017-04-26 02:54 am (UTC)(link)
It's not an accident that she's left him on his own. Only briefly, and with a simple set of tasks to complete. Put the change in the meter, enter the restaurant, locate her, sit down opposite. She's got the booth in the back corner, which lets Bucky put his back against a wall. She's given him the best seat, the one that puts him entirely in the corner with no way for anyone to get behind his back. Hers is still fine for her, of course. She's got the reflection of the window behind him to show her the short hallway behind her, two empty booths and a store room. She's good where she is.

She's also ordered them drinks, milk and sugar beside Bucky's mug of coffee so he can make it the way he likes. "Everything good?" she asks, perfectly casually, sipping her tea. No big deal. Not at all. Just a trip out into the public without Steve's calming presence in a crowded section of downtown. He can handle it, though, she's sure of that.
hydras_arm: shy smile (Shy smile)

[personal profile] hydras_arm 2017-04-27 02:14 am (UTC)(link)
Bucky is not oblivious to the subtle kindnesses she offers him, so different from Steve's own slightly blundering care. She has a way of giving him what he needs without making it obvious that she's giving him anything at all. He slides into the seat left waiting for him, and feels the solid bench and the wall at his back, and wraps both hands around the cup of coffee. "Yeah. I'm good. Ready to eat some happiness."

He flashes her a little smile, although his gaze makes a quick scan over the room at large just to make sure they're safe, then he goes about doctoring his coffee with milk and more sugar than is healthy.

It's good to get out of Steve's presence sometimes. He tries so hard, and Bucky is so afraid he'll hurt him or let him down.

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