footsheath ([personal profile] footsheath) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet2017-01-22 01:05 am

midnight texting

The Midnight Texting Meme 

It's the middle of the night and you're trying to catch some z's, or brooding alone in the alleys as one does, when your phone rings and dings and suddenly a stranger or a friend is texting you. What could they possibly want at this time? Is it important? Stupid? Are they drunk or maybe just needy? Pick up your phone and find out! 

  • Post with your character's name and canon on the subject line, indicate preferences as needed
  • Tag others
  • Have fun!
tsar_of_ice: (Hug Pls)

omg that username

[personal profile] tsar_of_ice 2017-01-22 03:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Yura, if I were a cat, would you adopt me?

[ Real talk right there. ]
rinktwink: (Twizzle)

in the immortal words of homer simpson: it's funny 'cause it's true

[personal profile] rinktwink 2017-01-22 07:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Not if the only thing you had to eat were your own fleas.

[That's a lie, of course, but Victor is the uncrowned king of unpleasant surprises, so Yuri would rather play it safe.

But not safe enough.]

Why? You and Katsudon had a fight or something?
tsar_of_ice: (???)

hear, hear

[personal profile] tsar_of_ice 2017-01-23 03:33 am (UTC)(link)
So you only choose which cats to be kind to? That's bad, Yura.

Of course not. Yuuri loves me and wouldn't throw me out in the streets where all I could eat are my own fleas.

[ He wouldn't call it a fight. He's simply sulking because he's not getting a lot of attention. ]
rinktwink: (Biellmann)

[personal profile] rinktwink 2017-01-23 07:11 am (UTC)(link)
I'll be kind to any cat that isn't you. No real cat is such an attention whore.

[Says the guy who likes showy big cats, but, you know.

And Yuri, who's known Victor for a while, can just about guess. Besides, even if he's wrong, worst-case-scenario guesses are always satisfying. (He's not jealous! He knows what he's missing. But still...)]

It's bad when even the pig's had enough of you. Did you steal his food to eat, instead?
tsar_of_ice: (Brat-ya)

[personal profile] tsar_of_ice 2017-01-23 01:57 pm (UTC)(link)
That's why I like dogs more. They like being loved. But I understand. I'll just remember that whenever I'm shopping.

[ Bad boys who can't be kind to stray Vitya kitties don't get no gifts. :( ]

Yurochka, stop calling him that. And no, I didn't steal his food. Huh. Maybe I'll do that. He'll also keep his ideal weight so that's hitting two birds with one stone.

[ Someone's really craving attention. ]
rinktwink: (Stroking)

[personal profile] rinktwink 2017-01-23 02:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Like anything you buy would be worth having.

[Then again... Okay, Yuri can't help but be curious now. It's not like he needs gifts, but... maybe he wouldn't strictly mind them...... just in case Victor actually found something nice for a change??? Imagination is a dangerous thing, which is why Yuri doesn't normally bother with it, but now -...

Meanwhile Yuri is only 15, but even he can see what a mess Victor is. Ugh. Why is this is his life? Why is this the competition? Shouldn't there be better people to pose a challenge for him?! Instead he gets a pig with or without the extra bacon, and a slobbering senile puppy. So unfair.]

I'll stop calling him a pig when he stops being a pig.

[Which, unsurprisingly, will be never, in Yuri's most elegant and totally unbiased of opinions.]

Where are you going shopping?

[Not quite ready to let go of that idea just yet. As usual, Victor gets what he wants... to a point.]
tsar_of_ice: (Little Shit)

[personal profile] tsar_of_ice 2017-01-23 03:53 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't have a specific shop in mind. There's so many to choose from! But I get it, Yura. No more gifts for you. Ever. If I see some cute cat plushie or fashionable clothes with cat prints, I won't think of getting them for you anymore.

[ Viktor would like to believe it's Yuri's thing to insult people he knows as a form of endearment but sometimes he can't help being annoyed especially if it's about Yuuri. Still, he's the adult here and should exericse restraint. ]

You like katsudon. Katsudon is pork, which comes from pigs. Ergo, you like Yuuri. Just admit it, Yura. You'll feel better for it.
rinktwink: (Upright Spin)

[personal profile] rinktwink 2017-01-23 06:10 pm (UTC)(link)
You wouldn't know fashionable if it kicked you in the ass!

[And yet Yuri feels deprived now. He didn't even want whatever-it-was Victor was gonna buy him, and now he wants it anyway, dammit! Why couldn't the guy have retired and disappeared from Yuri's life like a normal person?!]

Now who's calling him a pig?! YOU don't deserve gifts from yourself, either!!

[Look, he can't threaten with his own gifts. Like Yuri would ever buy Victor a gift!
... Well, maybe he does, sometimes. Once in a blue moon. But threatening to stop doing so would involve admitting he does it in the first place. No way is he going there.]

You're the one who likes him. Be glad that you get him all to yourself.
tsar_of_ice: (Engaged)

[personal profile] tsar_of_ice 2017-01-24 02:17 am (UTC)(link)
Excuse you. My designer clothes beg to differ.

[ Sorry, boy, you're stuck with this man-child forever. ]

Yura, stop being salty. Salt belongs in the food, not yourself.

[ Not gonna deny it though. But! He only does call Yuuri 'piggy' as an endearment. ]

I'll have him all to myself either way. So, you admitting you like him is not relevant. Anyway, we see through you so I guess you don't have to admit anything after all.
rinktwink: (Twizzle)

[personal profile] rinktwink 2017-01-24 06:13 am (UTC)(link)
Just because they're expensive doesn't mean they're worth wearing.

[Case in point: you can get ridiculously cheap clothes like a certain tiger sweater that will not be mentioned, and still look ridiculous! ... Maybe that wasn't quite Yuri's point, but it's true all the same.]

I DON'T like him! And I don't like YOU. You're both idiots, so clearly you're meant for each other.

[... Well, it's almost a nice sentiment?]

If you go shopping, send me pics. I'll tell you whether I want something or not.

[He actually wouldn't mind paying Victor back, if there's something he actually wants, but he's not going to offer right away. He just wants to make Victor get him something now - paying optional.

One day, Yuri will face Victor and come out on top. ONE DAY!! Until that day comes, he will keep trying.]
tsar_of_ice: (Brat-ya)

[personal profile] tsar_of_ice 2017-01-24 08:43 pm (UTC)(link)
And yet, you only hear that kind of sentiment from those who can't afford signature things. If you would just be a nice, kind boy, you would be showered by all kinds of wonderful things. But you just have to be bratty, don't you?

[ Says someone who's not bratty at all. ]

We know, we know. You're just living your life's calling of being a tsundere.

[ How's that for his knowledge of Japanese slang. ]

That's not how you ask for favours, Yura. You can come shopping if you're so desperate, I'll even buy you whatever you want, but you have to call me The Amazing Viktor while we're out. :D
rinktwink: (Stroking)

[personal profile] rinktwink 2017-01-25 07:07 am (UTC)(link)
I got better things to spend my money on.

[Which is a remarkably calm statement, all things considered. All right, maybe it hurts just a little, not being able to spend as freely as the bigger brat of the bunch, but it's not like Yuri has any regrets. He has grandpa to take care of, things like that. He would never regret that.]

I'm not a tsundere!! [Does he even know what...?] Whatever that is. [Yeah, no clue.

Meanwhile, that is one hell of a condition. Yuri does want to go shopping, and he'd like to get treated to something - the latter only because it feels like a challenge, now. But there's no way he's calling Victor that.

Still... if he just avoids saying Victor's name at all, it should be fine, right? He can do this. He can beat the Amazing Victor system.]

Pick me up when you're going.

[Challenge: accepted.]
tsar_of_ice: (Engaged)

[personal profile] tsar_of_ice 2017-01-25 09:44 am (UTC)(link)
That's why you should be kind and sweet so that other kind and sweet people would willingly give you presents.

[ Just be good and not go around insulting people's boyfriends and a certain person might dote on you like the embarrassing dad that he is. ]

You totally are! See, just this conversation is enough of an evidence. When you google the word, a picture of you will probably be one of the top results.

[ If not The Amazing Viktor, he'll settle for Vitya the Great. :) ]

I knew you'd come around. So no more calling Yuuri any more names, okay?
rinktwink: (Twizzle)

[personal profile] rinktwink 2017-01-25 09:59 am (UTC)(link)
That wasn't part of the deal.

[He'll insult Yuuri if he wants! But... he'll try to tone it down. It's not like he does it unprovoked most of the time, anyway! Not his fault if Yuuri's asking for it. Or if, more commonly, Victor is asking for it...

What is this doting-on thing? It's weird and makes no sense, especially doing it for the competition. The only doting Yuri has much experience with is grandpa's pirozhki, and, you know what? That's more than good enough for him.

Meanwhile "tsundere" is getting googled just in case, and between the weird meaning and the fact that (to Yuri's relief) no pics of himself actually show up, Yuri is content to write off the whole thing as just another one of Victor's eccentricities.]

Just let me know when you're coming over.

And try not to be hungover. I don't wanna deal with that.

[More like Shitya the Shitty. >:| Still, as much as Yuri complains, Victor has been an important figure in his life for pretty much ever. Is he a friend? Eh, probably not. More like a frustrating naughty pet, or something. But they're stuck together regardless.

There are worse things than that, really.]