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bakerstreet2015-05-10 06:19 pm
fighterfetish) wrote in bakerstreet2015-05-10 06:19 pm
The Random Scenario Meme 3.0
- Post your character, name, and series in the subject. Include any preferences as well.
- Go to RNG and enter 1-7 for a scene type, and 1-20 for a scene to play out.
TYPE OF SCENE.
① Action → Gun fights, bar brawls, fights to the death are all possible scenarios.
② Angst → Characters suffer emotionally or physically from relationships breaking up, death, injury, etc. Hurt and comfort themes are included.
③ Crack → Genderswaps, super powers, sudden compulsions are all possible outcomes.
④ Fluff → Something that is devoid of angst. It's light-hearted and might have the overtone of romance.
⑤ Gen → General fun, things that didn't fit in the other categories.
⑥ Sex → First times, kinks, even dubcon are all possible themes of sex related scenarios.
⑦ Your choice → Think of your own scenario, choose one of the above or make a combo even!
ACTION.
① Zombies → It's the zombie apocalypse, lock and load!
② Bar brawl → You had one too many drinks, said something wrong, and now you're being asked to take it outside.
③ Chase → You're caught in a high speed chase.
④ Gun fight → You're caught in a big shoot-out.
⑤ Fight with a friend → You're fighting with a friend, all out.
⑥ Interrogation → You're being interrogated for some offense you've done.
⑦ Aliens → Aliens are attacking and you're not going to take your probe laying down!
⑧ Final battle → This is it. The battle that will end all the fighting for you. Will you win? Will you get that peace you want?
⑨ Training → You're not actually fighting, just training for the inevitable.
⑩ No hope → You know this fight has no hope. It's not going to end well for anyone involved, but you can't turn away.
⑪ Sneaking in → You're stealing a diamond or sneaking in to kick some bad guy butt, but whatever it is, you have to practice stealth.
⑫ Blue wire → You're faced with a bomb that needs to be disarmed.
⑬ Fight for honor → You've been disgraced or someone you care about has, so it's time to fight for honour.
⑭ Showdown → Time for a cowboy-style showdown. Whoever draws the fastest wins.
⑮ War → You're caught in the middle of a war here. Remember to keep your chin up and keeping fighting.
⑯ Apocalypse → The apocalypse finally happened and now you're left to scavenge and fight for whatever is left.
⑰ Sabotage → It's time to sabotage someone's plan! How is entirely up to you. Do you set up a bomb in their toilet? Do you double cross them at the last minute?
⑱ Big damn hero → You know you have to handle this one alone, so that means disarming or knocking unconscious the person who wants to join you.
⑲ Fight club → You know the rules... you're in an underground fighting ring and you're fighting with all you've got.
⑳ Threaten → You've just been sent here to rough them up a little, threaten them into behaving.
ANGST.
① Injury / illness → Your character has become injured or ill! To what extent is the mun's choice.
② Last moments → You character has been gravely injured and this is their last chance to say their last words.
③ Depression → Your character is depressed, what actions they take is up to the mun.
④ Betrayed → You character has been betrayed by the other. How do they react?
⑤ Tortured → Your character is being tortured and needs rescuing or at least a sympathetic ear to help him through it.
⑥ Jealousy → Your character is feeling jealous and must deal with it, how will they do it?
⑦ Breakup! → This relationship has gone as far as it can, it's time to breakup.
⑧ Broken → For whatever reason, the character is broken, mentally or or physically.
⑨ Fight → You can't even be in the same room as your friend or lover without arguing anymore.
⑩ Lost → You lost the biggest fight of your life and now all you can do is try to pick up the pieces.
⑪ Worst nightmare → Whatever you fear the most is now real or maybe you're just trapped in a dream together, but whatever it is, it feels too real.
⑫ Addicted → You're addicted to something, alcohol, drugs, sex, whatever. It's destroying your life and you can't do anything to stop it.
⑬ Hurt you → You're being forced to hurt someone you love either by betraying them or even being forced to shout things you don't mean. It's for their own good in the end though.
⑭ Separation → You were forced to leave this person for their own safety and while you've been miserable without them, you really didn't mean to run into them again... maybe it was by accident or you were watching them from afar this whole time.
⑮ Becoming a monster → You are slowly changing, becoming a monster: vampire, zombie, demon, something you can't recover from and no-one can help you.
⑯ Frozen → You are entirely helpless, frozen, to stop some kind of disaster.
⑰ Prison → You were very bad and now it's time to pay the price by turning yourself in or maybe the law just finally caught up to you.
⑱ Fear → You're not sure why, but you are suddenly terrified and you can't deal with it. You need help.
⑲ Hated → You are now hated by the person you loved the most.
⑳ Down and out → You're living on the streets, you've hit rock bottom, and you don't know what to do.
CRACK.
① Sexswap → Uh-oh, you're suddenly the opposite sex!
② Forced confessions → No matter what it is and no matter how hard you resist, you're going to be compelled to spill some deep dark secret!
③ Mind-reading → You've suddenly got the ability to read minds!
④ Animal → You're suddenly part animal or transformed into an animal!
⑤ Awkward pick-up lines → You're compelled to use bad pickup lines on whoever is closest!
⑥ Back in School / Graduated → You're suddenly back in school! Or if you were already in it, you've aged and long since graduated!
⑦ Vampires, werewolves, and zombies, oh my! → You're suddenly a vampire, werewolf, or zombie! Maybe even a demon or a devil, whatever creepy crawly you can think of. What do you do now?
⑧ Ghost → You're suddenly a ghost or at least invisible. What are you going to do with this new ability?
⑨ Awkward conversations → So did you just fart or what? Any conversation goes, as long as it's embarrassing and awkward.
⑩ Crossdressing → For whatever reason, you're suddenly dressed in clothes of the opposite sex.
⑪ Suddenly naked → Oops! Your clothes are suddenly gone.
⑫ Suddenly a kid → You're a kid again! Have fun with that second childhood.
⑬ Fortune cookie → You've suddenly received a note with something that will happen in the future, either precise or vague.
⑭ Super power → And suddenly you're like Superman! Any power goes.
⑮ Bodyswap → Somehow you've changed bodies with the other person.
⑯ Back in time → Somehow, you wound up in the past again. Do you try to correct something or just sit and wait for time to jump? Maybe it jumps to various points in your life or maybe you actually think you're back in the day. Have fun, run wild with the idea!
⑰ To the future → Is it everything you've dreamed? Is it horrible? Whatever happens, you're here to witness what happens to you in the future. Either you take the place of your future self or you're just there to watch. Might cause some confusion if people start seeing double though...
⑱ Angels, mermaids, and fairies! → You're not necessary something dark or evil. You're just something different. How do you deal?
⑲ Locked in a closet → For some reason, you're locked up in a closet with someone else. Do you make nice and try to figure your way out or what?
⑳ Finger trap → You're caught in a Chinese finger trap... with somebody else! You can't figure out how to get loose either... have fun with that.
FLUFF.
① Cuddling → For whatever reason, characters feel like being close and cuddling.
② Pillow talk → After the main event, characters are up for some pillow talk.
③ Celebration → Anniversary or some other big event is taking place and characters want to celebrate!
④ Love confession → Someone has finally decided to confess their love and today is the day!
⑤ Appreciation → You feel the need to show appreciation for that person closest to you, even if it's just a pat on the back.
⑥ Apologies → You made a mistake and now it's time to make it up in some way you know the other can't refuse!
⑦ Get back together → Why did you break up again exactly? Whatever the reason, it was a huge mistake and you both know you can work through it.
⑧ Date night → You've planned for a wonderful night together and you can't wait to get it started.
⑨ Family → You've either found out you're pregnant or you've already got that addition to your family.
⑩ Marriage → You're just about to get hitched or maybe you're enjoying your honeymoon. Maybe you've been together for years now! Whatever the case, it's time for that next big step.
⑪ Meeting again → It's time for that happy reunion finally!
⑫ Love at first sight → For whatever reason, you are now insanely in love with the first person you set eyes on.
⑬ Flirtation → You can't resist to do a little bit of harmless flirtation all of a sudden.
⑭ In the snow → Look outside! It's a winter wonderland, so why not go out and play in it?
⑮ Engagement → You've planned it all out and now it's time to finally pop the question.
⑯ Friendly games → You've set up the game station or board games for a friendly competition!
⑰ Gift → Time to give that special someone a gift just because.
⑱ Recovery → You're taking care of someone who's just recovered from some illness or injury.
⑲ Healing → Time to help mend that someone who's been through hell and back.
⑳ Better than ever → You've finally got everything you've ever wanted here. What is your ideal life and who does it include?
GEN.
① Nice meeting you → It's your first time meeting this person! You bumped into each other on the street, in a bar, at work... whatever!
② Drinks → You're out for drinks! Or just chilling at home with some beers. Wherever!
③ Lost → You're lost and you kind of need help finding your way to where you're going. A little help with directions?
④ Costume party → You're at a costume party, both of you are wearing masks. Do you keep the anonymity or take it off and see whose company you've been enjoying?
⑤ Wrong number → Oops, actually you didn't mean to call that person...
⑥ Drunk → You're already drunk! Drunk dialing, stumbling into someone, showing up unexpected... what type of drunk are you anyway? Aggressive, loving, happy? How does the other react?
⑦ Old friends → you haven't seen this person in a long time!
⑧ Rivals → you're suddenly rivals! Or maybe you have been all along...
⑨ Problems → you've got a problem with each other, just got in a huge fight, whatever. Try to work it out!
⑩ What are your intentions... → This person? They're dating a close friend, family member, etc. You need to find out if they're going to hurt them! Or you need to discuss your friend/family's dating choice.
⑪ I saw you → you saw the other person doing something bad and you need to confront them about it.
⑫ Sorry but no → the other person has feelings that you just don't share. They don't necessarily have to be romantic... maybe you just don't agree with their sudden desire to quit their job and start a business making tiny, fuzzy teddy bears.
⑬ My hero → you need to tell this person how much they mean to you. They've been your best friend or your role model your whole life and they need to know.
⑭ Enabler → you're enabling the other (or each other) to do something bad, really bad. Addiction, stealing, killing, or just any other self-destructive behavior.
⑮ Cooking → Time for an impromptu cooking lesson!
⑯ Oh, sure, I remember you... → It's that awkward moment when someone comes up and seems to know you, but you have no idea who they even are!
⑰ Rescue! → One of you was in trouble, but you came to the rescue!
⑱ Boss → One of you works under the other. Is your relationship good? Are you scheming things? Or do you hate each other?
⑲ Perfect crime → You and the other person have just pulled off the perfect crime... or you're planning to! What are you doing? The heist of the century, an assassination?
⑳ Movies → movie night! Maybe it's a sleepover. Whichever the case, it's time to eat a lot and have fun.
SEX.
① First time → it's your first time together or your first time ever! Enjoy the awkward times!
② Bondage → You and your partner decide to experiment a little with ropes or handcuffs or whatever you'd like to tie your partner up with.
③ Rough / Aggressive → Your characters want it rough.
④ Romantic → Slow and gentle, meaningful, that's how characters want it.
⑤ Dubcon → Character A wants Character B and it doesn't really matter if Character B wants it as bad or not.
⑥ In public → Characters feel like taking a risk and doing it in a public place.
⑦ Roleplay → Naughty nurse fetish? Pirate kink? You and your partner decide to try it out now!
⑧ Healing → You've both fought hard or gone through a rough time and it's time to get some R&R in.
⑨ Last time → This is the last time you're going to this because you're breaking up or maybe your lover is running off to sacrifice their lives in some heroic way. The possibilities are endless, but you better make this one count.
⑩ No strings attached → You're just friends with benefits. Nothing wrong with that, right?
⑪ Anonymous → You met in a restroom or bar, any location of your choosing, but you don't even know each other's names.
⑫ Toys → You're eager to try something new, so why not toys?
⑬ Aphrodisiacs → You've been slipped a strong aphrodisiac somehow and now you absolutely cannot control yourself.
⑭ Show → You're putting on a show by either doing it right in the club or filming it for a bunch of people.
⑮ Ménage à trois → It's time for that threesome you've always dreamed of.
⑯ Non-penetrative → Frottage, handjobs, whatever you want to try out.
⑰ Controlled → You are under mind control and must do whatever your lover asks of you.
⑱ Hate sex → It's not just rough or aggressive, you absolutely cannot stand each other.
⑲ Extreme → Fisting, knife play, whatever you can think of so long as it tests the boundaries.
⑳ Fantasy → This is just a fantasy, a dream, and you know it, but what is your ideal fantasy and how willing is your partner?
no subject
I'm voting for mafia kitchen because Squalo in his dad's sushi bar... It would never recover. Varia headquarters okay? And would you prefer Squalo doing the teaching or learning lol.]
no subject
(( What a mean thing to say he's capable of eating civilly! Kinda. Sounds good! I'd think Squalo probably started it but surely there are things Yamamoto can teach him too, so. Mutual learning experience? Ahaha. ))
(( Feel free to make your own starter if you don't like this one? o/ ))
~
[ This was not what he had in mind when he said "survival training", damn it. (So he thought he could give the baseball idiot a few more tips without waiting ten years, that didn't mean he was growing soft on the kids, alright? He just wasn't going to be a guy defeated by some good-for-nothing, that's all. Which meant making sure of it himself. Annoying, but necessary. ]
[ And yet, there he was, in the kitchen, chopping fucking tomatoes, cheek twitching. Nobody in this goddamn organization had any respect for his rank, obviously. ]
[ How did it end up like this? ]
[ Who knows. An educated guess would be that the majority of Varia's cooks have been beat up or fired, but the assholes who did it still wanted dinner and one by one found an excuse to retreat from the job (if shit like "Because I'm a prince" can be counted as an excuse). ]
[ Fuck. ]
[ Well, he wasn't going to let this time go to waste, at any rate. ]
YOU! [ He points at Yamamoto with the sharp end of the knife, like any normal person would (like hell he was going to soil his good sword on something like food preparing, so yeah, let's say it's not attached right now). He's still got his 100 dB voice, though. ] Pay attention. Knowing how to prepare bistecca alla marinara can one day save your life. [ that... probably only applies if you work at Varia... ]
no subject
Still, he pulled up a stool to watch, one hand propping up his chin. Neither the knife being pointed at him nor the loudness of the man's voice was a deterrent, and it even made him laugh.]
Really? Has is saved you before?
[He might just be winding Squalo up or genuinely interested, it's basically one in the same.]
no subject
[ ...well, that's something. Squalo wasn't particularly savvy with Japanese dishes beyond sushi, either. It was also part of the mafia experience, people coming in from various cultures bringing their own different methods of killi-- er, cooking in this case. Yeah. ]
[ Sorry, Yamamoto, this is a knife flying at you. Shouldn't be too hard for him to catch (if he's really a natural hitman, at least) though. ]
I'm still standing here, ain't I?!
[ That must be a "yes". His life is hard, shut up. ]
[ And then he proceeds as if knife-flinging is a perfectly normal part of making dinner. Have fun? Here's a couple of onions repeating the knife's trajectory. ]
Voooi, I didn't say you get to sit there and do shit.
no subject
What he was sure of was that he was good at baseball, and catching the knife and onions barely made him bat an eyelash (or maybe all of the little guy's insane training was paying off). He grabbed an extra cutting board before that was thrown at him, grinning.]
Okay, okay.
[He peered over to see how he was dealing with the tomatoes before copying him, as per usual.]
So is this your favorite dish?
[Despite the fact that he felt Squalo might know him better than anyone, Yamamoto couldn't say the vice versa was true. Every little tidbit helped.]
no subject
[ Ugh, such potential, wasted. ]
[ But that was why he was here. Or that was the idea, anyway, until they landed in the fucking kitchen. ]
[ Making small talk, of all things. ]
No. [ He only humors the question because there's literally nothing more useful he can do while retrieving meat from the fridge. ] It's boss's. [ Squalo really doubted Xanxus had a "favorite" anything, but it was one of the kinds of beef he would tolerate without causing someone bodily harm, so, hey, close enough. ]
[ Speaking of which, cutting both tomatoes and onions in the same way was fucking offensive right now. ]
-- WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? THIN SLICES!
no subject
Also this is starting to sound less like a cooking lesson and more like tips on how to survive the Varia since he visits here so much. Appeasing Xanxus seemed to be the number one priority.]
That's pretty thoughtful of you to make his favorite. None of the others ever help?
[They'd cleared out pretty quickly, after all.
At the scolding, Yamamoto merely laughed sheepishly, switching up his slicing accordingly.]
What's bistecca anyway? Is it like pizza?
[Sorry for everything, Squalo.]
no subject
[ It might be. Survival training, and all. Useful shit. Besides, who knows, maybe some day Yamamoto will be formidable enough to get recruited into the Varia. Sure, it's extremely unlikely with the Tenth around, but a man can dream. ]
[ Thoughtful. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. Not self-preservation instinct or anything. ]
Lus usually steps in when we're short on kitchen staff. [ big surprise. ] He's out on a mission. [ Or, you know, just a plot convenience reasons since we're doing this thread here. Whatever. ]
[ There's also the unspoken rule that if the dinner (or at least the boss' share) does not live up to the standards, both Squalo and the person responsible for it are getting heavy objects hurled at them. That probably didn't do much in the way of convincing someone to take part in it. Someone with something to lose in this situation, anyway. ]
[ Yamamoto............ ]
[ Squalo seriously contemplates slapping him with the sirloin he's holding, but decides against it. As implausible as it sounds, he can't rule out the possibility of Xanxus somehow smelling Sawada's companions in his dinner. Ah, maybe he should have done everything himself after all... ]
[ Fuck it, he'll just toss the onions after cooking and all will be well. ]
It's steak, you cretin.
no subject
Besides, if Yamamoto did join the Varia he'd have to deal with baseball talk twenty four seven and Yamamoto would have no teeth left. It's probably for everyone's best interests if he stays with Tsuna.
Yamamoto perked up at the mention of Lussuria and the fact that apparently he warranted a nickname, smiling at that.]
You two seem pretty close! Wasn't he the one filming all your sword fights too?
[Onions finished, Yamamoto held them up for inspection.
Look Squalo the only Italian he knows is pizza, pasta, and the random swear words Gokudera shouts at him when he's too pissed to remember Japanese. Not everyone can speak twenty languages.]
What's next?
[He was still beaming, because a Squalo who wasn't calling him something offensive wasn't a happy Squalo.]
no subject
[ Right, there's that. Maybe everything's for the best, in the end. ]
Vooi, don't lump me in with that weirdo.
[ It's... kind of true, though. Despite how creepy the whole momming gig is, Lussuria is a rather welcome change from being shittalked and/or beat up. Or having someone wish you dead more intensely than the rest of the organization known not to bat an eyelash at the demise of a companion (really, Levi, nobody's gonna give you the second-in-command post anyway). And his hair advice has proven useful in the past, so he's not the worst company around here. ]
[ He's still a fucking weirdo, though. ]
[ Squalo scrunches his nose a little as he inspects the onions with a great deal of scrutiny. A few long moments later, he snorts derisively. ]
Close enough.
[ That's... almost praise, isn't it? Good job. He's taking one of the pans, pouring some oil in it and putting it on the table for now, gesturing for Yamamoto to put the onions in. Then he'll hand him a few pieces of garlic. ]
I want these so thin I can fucking see through it, got it?
no subject
Yamamoto grinned at the assessment that Lussuria was a 'weirdo' considering the rest of the Varia weren't even from the same planet as the word 'normal', sliding the onions in the pan as bid then taking the garlic.
And don't give him that 'close enough' bs he can mimic sword moves only by seeing them once, chopping onions is nothing. But he'll take what he can get because he can read between the lines. How annoying would he be if he actually needed everything spelled out for him?]
He seems pretty fun! You think he would teach me how to fight? It might be good to know just in case.
[Because he has a history of losing his swords and not everyone was going to be sporting and let him run off and retrieve it.
He started cutting up the garlic, thoughtful.]
Xanxus might be fun to fight too...
[Because Yamamoto may or may not have a death wish, wanting to fight people like Hibari and Squalo in his spare time.]
no subject
[ It's a nice skill, isn't it? Squalo could almost be proud if he showed it off on something else than friggin' onions. Well, all in due time. Surely the boy will kill a man and consequentally become one eventually. ]
[ He frowned. ]
I don't see why not. [ It's... not as far-fetched as asking the rest of Varia for help, to be honest, although Lussuria might insist he also bring his permanent-nose-bandage friend along in return. ] You should focus on your sword training, though. [ YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO SO THAT YOU NEVER LOSE GRIP ON YOUR SWORD? YOU TIE IT TO YOUR FUCKING ARM STUMP ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ]
[ He was about to say something more about how Yamamoto has too many distractions already and sword should always come first, but then that bomb dropped. And he's actually left speechless for a moment (shocking). Just sort of... gaping at the suicidal boy with the garlic, herbs slowly spilling out of the spoon he was holding, cheek twitching. ]
[ His volume returns rather gradually this time. ]
VooOOOIIII... No fucking way. Stop joking around!
[ To be fair, what's the worst that could happen? ]
[ It would be fine if Yamamoto lost, since Squalo was already certain he couldn't beat Xanxus (fairly at least), so their bound honor wasn't at stake here to begin with. Well, aside from the fact that losing to boss usually meant brutal death. ]
[ Maybe he was growing sentimental with old age, but he thought it would be a shame if Yamamoto kicked the bucket this young, with all that talent and whatnot. ]
[ What if the boss actually lost? ]
[ No, nah, that wasn't possible. Come on. ]
[ ...although this very generation has somehow managed it before. A fluke, most likely, but still. It made Xanxus angry(er) for the rest of his life. Even if it was something as small as Sawada's guardian landing one practice hit on him (assuming it's in some parallel world where he'd actually agree to train a kid in the first place), he'd go ballistic over it. And then who's going to suffer? ]
[ Three guesses. ]
[ It's just a no-win situation all around. Denied. ]
no subject
Unless their name was Daemon Spade in which case kid gloves come off.Yammoto sliced up the garlic carefully, holding up a few slices to make sure he could see through them.]
It'd be handy just in case I lost my grip on my sword.
[Get it handy?]
I noticed it too, when the little guy had me start the mafia game that I got better at baseball by doing a new sort of training. Maybe it'll be the same with the sword?
[He might actually believe that instead of saying it just to appease Squalo, who's love for the sword is impressive and also awe inspiring. More than once Yamamoto mourned that sort of passion wasn't put towards baseball. He was sure Squalo would be pretty good at it.
When he heard some of the food plopping onto the ground, he glanced up, concerned that Squalo perhaps was suffering from a stroke or had blown some circuits. Helpfully he went to get paper towels to clean up the mess, bringing the garlic along for inspection.
He hoped that ducking down would hide his amused smile, because it was definitely rare to see Squalo speechless.]
Are you worried that he'd become my favorite sparring partner?
[He's just giving you grief at this point, Squalo, but it is an intriguing thought. Well, he'd try with Lussuria first or maybe Hibari before Xanxus if Squalo was so against it.]
no subject
[ To emphasize which he was just going to bring up his artificial hand and flex his fingers (because word of god is it's a really nifty prosthetic, shh). ]
Heey, there are other methods to secure that.
[ Wanna lob off your arm? Wink wonk -- I mean. Ahem. ]
Naturally. You haven't seen what I've got in store for you yet.
[ Implying it's going to be something different this time? Maybe you should be afraid... But yes, he looked pleased that Yamamoto seemed to be thinking about the blade in this case. Squalo wasn't even calling him a scumbag yet, although that usually happened at least once within fifteen minutes of interaction. Good thing he was unaware of the baseball part, although maybe it would be possible to get him to try it in another vacation arc or something... ]
[ SO MUCH GRIEF. No, you know what, he didn't care. He wasn't afraid of the colossal bag of dicks they called their boss. Surely the brat was certain of his ability to handle that shit if he was suggesting it, too. ]
[ Squalo was still going to swiftly kick him now that he was in reach, though. Fucking goody two-shoes with his fucking paper towels and wanting to spar with Xanxus of all fucking people. ]
I'm not holding my fucking breath!
omg that edit text why
At that, Yamamoto's gaze will go right to the prosthetic hand, grinning doubtfully. You don't want him to copy your gorgeous hair but being one handed is fine? Squalo your priorities.]
Would I be able to attach a bat to mine?
[He joked, looking at Squalo's hand thoughtfully, as if actually considering it.
That confidence that Squalo had in himself and his swordsmanship made Yamamoto laugh, because he knew that Squalo was constantly bettering himself and that thought alone was exciting. The reason why Yamamoto liked sparring against him so much wasn't just to figure out new moves, but to also test his skills, to see how much he'd improved since he'd last seen the swordsman. He had never counted their first encounter as the end all be all battle that had determined their skills, but instead saw it more as a lucky break, as something that had happened because he'd believed in his old man's sword style.
Knowing Squalo had more to teach him... Well that got him more interested than anything. He flickered his gaze up towards Squalo's face, eyes narrowed in interest.]
Oh? I'd like to see what you've been up to since last time.
[Though his expression of serious interest was gone as soon as Squalo was yelling and kicking him, and it was only due to his quick reflexes that kept him from getting hit. Still, it didn't stop him from laughing as he dodged out of the way, instead heading over to the trash to throw out the paper towels.]
You don't have to worry! You're still my favorite mentor!
[Yeah he's just going to lay it on thick, but from a safe distance. Never let it be said he's not a fast learner.]
because i took out some "fucking" where it was getting too repetitive ofc
[ HEY. HEY. HE JUST COULDN'T HELP IT OKAY HE SAW A SHARK AND HE HAD TO GO PET IT fuck off seriously don't even remind him of that disgraceful moment. ]
[ His gorgeous hair is his promise to his boss. Get your own. ]
...
[ Sometimes he really wants to kill this guy. ]
Voooi, stop thinking about fucking baseball for a minute!
[ He brings his hand down with irritation, causing the table to shake a little (extra annoyed once his kick doesn't land, of course), then sighs as if he's making a tremendous effort to not add sliced Yamamoto into the menu, and shoves the bowl with cut tomatoes and some more still solid vegetables and herbs towards him. That's... probably going to be a salad? Chop chop. ]
Then hurry up and we'll get to it once we're done here.
[ But there's a small, smug grin on his face at the anticipation Yamamoto expresses. At least the brat's not completely hopeless, huh? ]
[ The sucking up(?) will just earn him a blank look, though. Squalo's not particularly fond of it, although he supposes it's true, he is a great and likable rolemodel (yeah right). ]
Who's worried, trash?! And save that for fucking job interviews.
[ He's not throwing anything else at him though, so... good job? Fast learner indeed. You'll be a force to be reckoned with yet. ]
i just have a guttermind tbh sorry
Maybe he'll just grow a gorgeous fu man chu then. Obviously this is the only solution.
And if Yamamoto had a yen for every time someone wanted to kill him he'd have enough money to swim in. He couldn't help but laugh at the command and Squalo slamming his hand down on the table, instead accepting the bowl and starting to work with it. He'll just be over here innocently cutting up vegetables...
Though his speed does noticeably pick up once Squalo mentioned they could spar when they were done.]
You're not going to be hungry?
[Not that he was complaining but that not pasta steak stuff could probably be good.
Finished in record time, Yamamoto set the salad bowl aside, eagerly heading back over to Sualo.]
It's a compliment. That's fine right? What's next?
[If he was a dog, he'd probably be wagging his tail extra hard, eyes wide and eager. He just wants to spar for a few days with you.]
dw who doesn't... and i did make it easy 4u
[ please no mustache Levi is a nightmare enough ]
[ In the meantime, he's going to cut the meat, rub spices into it and set it to cook with half of the onions, then return and squash some more tomatoes into the rest for the sauce. Wiki tells me they've gotta be crushed by hand to be authentic, so hey, let's go with that. ]
[ Snort. ]
No. Training yields better results this way. Your senses are sharper.
[ And there's... a bit of a grin spreading on his face, as if it's a rather exciting thought. Uh-oh, you woke up the excited assassin. (This guys' expressions look like he's OD'd on coffee most of the time tbh.) ]
Think of it this way; a hungry shark will sense blood much faster, and seek victory more persistently, without holding back. A full one will be slow and so compliant you can brush its fucking teeth. [ something he has done, no doubt. he looks so proud of his shark parallels too. ]
[ Don't worry, Yamamoto, he'll let you eat after the training.
If you survive. It will taste better after some effort, anyway, right? ][ FEW DAYS SOUND GOOD he looks around and frowns. This is... pretty much it, the only thing's left is for everything to actually cook. He'll put the sauce pan on the stove too and present Yamamoto with a wooden spoon thing. ]
The worst part. Waiting and stirring.
[ boooooring ]
[ this is why he doesn't do food duty if he has a say in it. ]
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And rude Yamamoto could pull it off. Maybe.
Probably not.Yamamoto is going to be watching this process curiously, mostly because it's odd to see Squalo cooking so deftly and comfortably, and because if he's going to be hanging out with the Varia on a regular basis, he should probably learn how to make something other than Ramen and sushi.
While most people would be running away at the sight of the grin, Yamamoto can't help but return it, tucking his hands behind his head.]
Ah. I never thought of it that way.
[Mostly because his spirit animal isn't a shark, but in an odd way it resonates with him. The hungrier you are for victory the harder you'll fight for it. Got it. Good job Squalo, Yamamoto understands your shark metaphors, and honestly it's getting him pumped up to do battle.
He laughed at Squalo's assessment of waiting and stirring, accepting the spoon without arguing, humming happily as he stirred.]
It smells really good.
[Maybe if he does well, he can convince Squalo to make him pizza. The steak looks tempting, but still doesn't look like it could rival pizza.]
Though you never said. What's your favorite food?
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[ You get versed in a wide variety of mundane tasks when you're the boss' reluctant bitch, pretty much. Please don't bring it up, though. Let him just imagine it's because he excels at everything he decides to do. ]
[ He also looks fucking smug at that hint of thirst for battle in his... student? protégé? something like that. Sure, Squalo understands that Yamamoto is different from him, very much so, and he accepts it, but he still can't help but feel pleased whenever something they have in common comes up. ]
[ While Yamamoto is making sure the sauce doesn't burn, Squalo will tend to the meat, and soon enough there's another pan next to the first one. At least this one doesn't need continuous stirring, so he can go wash the knives or something. ]
Of course it does.
[ He made it. Mostly. It's gonna be fucking perfect. THERE'S MORE TO ITALIAN CUISINE THAN PIZZA! Although it can be an appealing choice, especially when you're in a hurry. Or really fucking lazy. That doesn't apply for homemade ones, of course. ]
[ Ah, he wants to small talk again. Fair enough. ]
Tuna carpaccio.
[ The embodiment of big fish that likes to eat smaller fish. Shocking. ]
[ He's not actually asking, but feel free to tell him about your favorite, Yamamoto. He probably won't cut you off right now. ]
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You're lucky that Yamamoto is too much of a bro to tease you about being Xanxus' lapdog, but mostly because he understands wanting to follow someone and finding joy in making them happy. Squalo might complain about it more though.
And while outwardly they might be different, Squalo should know how seriously he took the mafia game. Anything worthy enough to be called 'a game' to Yamamoto meant that he'd risk life, limb, and all of his effort to win. While the others might be convinced Yamamoto was pretty normal, people like the little guy weren't so easily confused. Yamamoto hated to lose more than anyone else and liked comparing his growth to those around him, the stronger the better. He may also find fighting fun and exhilarating, but they weren't going to talk about that.
He grinned at that cockiness, before glancing over curiously at the mention of his favorite dish.]
What's that?
[He's probably going to have to google it or ask Gokudera about it later anyway and try to make it, but honestly he won't remember the Italian name for it, so better to get a description now.
And how generous, though Squalo's probably not going to like the answer. Sorry for everything.]
I had some anchovy pizza last time I came here with Dino-san. It was pretty good!
[Opportunity to bond probably wasted.]
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[ THE ONE TIME that Yamamoto's bro-ness is a good thing, really. Do you have to put it that way, though? Why not describe it as something cooler? Why can't Squalo be a, a... a king's knight or something? Even the old plain right hand man sounds better than that. Ugh, what is his life. ...Well, as long as there's understanding. ]
[ And those were the features that lead them to this moment, to be honest. Despite the defeat, Squalo might not have taken it upon himself to train Yamamoto if he wasn't who he was. Funny to think about, really. ]
[ Squalo gave him a flat look. ]
It's fish.
[ He may or may not have purposely dumbed it down way too much, because come on, "tuna" is surely an international word. ]
[ Goddamn it, Dino, did you really have to introduce the kid to Italian culture with a fucking pizza? Ah well. He just sort of... smirks half-lippedly, something between mocking and genuine. ]
That's your strongest impression of that trip?
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Well he might refer to you as a right hand man but it depends on which hand you're missing, honestly. It's hard to keep track.
At that look, Yamamoto's grin doesn't falter in the least. He's used to being treated like he's dumb because... he can be pretty dumb.]
What's carpiko? Is that fish too?
[Look his Italian is slow going please have mercy.
That question had him thinking though, expression thoughtful as he stirred.]
Ah well, Dino-san's mansion is pretty huge! The beaches here seem nice.
[Then, tilting his head to the side to look at Squalo in consideration.]
Dino-san also seems to be pretty popular.
[Which shouldn't be surprising when you're really rich and somewhat good looking, but Squalo had asked. Kind of. Also he's somewhat curious. Dino and Squalo went to school together right? He's picturing Squalo fending off a bunch of old ladies trying to marry off their daughters and trying really hard not to laugh.]
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[ WELL, HE IS NOW. He was left-handed, though. A real good idea to get rid of the dominant one, right? ]
[ ...at least he's self-aware. ]
It's the method of preparing it, idiot. Raw and thinly sliced.
[ (Thanks, Wiki. Fuckin raw fish, Squalo? How much sharkier can you get? You could just name yourself Shark McSharkpants -- oh wait.) ]
[ Surprisingly enough, his relative relaxation from before does not decompose immediately at the mention of Dino. Probably because he's more focused on a kid seeing Italy for the first time (that trip was the first time, right?), and then on making sure to snort as loudly and derisively as possible. ]
Did he take you to Rome?
[ Yeah sorry not interested in former classmates' love lives. ]
[ ...somehow, the little old ladies never really persecuted him like that. You'd think they would, him supposedly having a pretty impressive background, but there weren't more than two or three. He must've looked too much like the delinquent that he was or something. ]
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Totally. It was for his ~way of the sword~ so Yamamoto wasn't going to judge. No wonder he can never measure up to Squalo's devotion to swordsmanship, sorry he's just not that hardcore.
Also rude that is a bit rich coming from someone who cut off their own hand just saying. Still, Yamamoto seemed interested in that small tidbit, making a note of it.]
Ah, so like sashimi.
[Probably not but now Yamamoto's going to make some sashimi for you Squalo so feel touched. Also Shark McSharkpants isn't half as entertaining as being Super Bi and proud and we all know it.
It was his first trip and it is a cherished memory. Him and Dino are on good terms now which is always a plus.
Yamamoto shook his head at the question, still stirring patiently.]
I was only here for a week. Mostly he introduced me to some allies of the Vongola family. I didn't know the mafia game was so big here.
[One day he won't refer to it as a game, but only when it stops making people throw fits. He glanced over at Squalo curiously.]
Why, what's in Rome?
[It's probably for the best that old ladies aren't trying to throw their daughters at him. It probably would not end well. I mean his hair is more fabulous than any lady's and who could handle that.]
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