bakerstreet | like it's hard?

Yes, babe, I have. [He smiles a little as he tries to bring the teeth out on purpose.]

I know it’s scary, and I know I’d argue against it if it was the other way around… but you’d be just as insistent about helping me, right? [He doesn’t need Josh to answer that question because he already knows the truth.

Still. He frames his boyfriend’s face with both of his hands.] I already know you don’t trust anyone else enough for this… it’s me, or… nothing. And I don’t think you can keep going on nothing forever. [He kisses him softly.] C’mon… please…?

...it would be stupid to keep saying no, but my attempt now was weak.

[ Like. How is he supposed to bring out the real teeth? He can't do anything with whatever's going on now. He huffs, frustrated with the fact that whether he cooperates or not, he's kind of fucked. ]

Where would I bite you, anyway? What's least risky?

[ Maybe he can make it happen if he closes his eyes and concentrates on the permanent smell of meat he's constantly filtering out around everyone, but he's afraid of that.

He doesn't want to cross and never go back. ]

You’ll get the hang of it, I’m sure… [It’s admittedly an odd thing to be encouraging about, but that’s not going to stop him.]

I mean- [He realizes this is an awkward way to say it but it’s already coming out of his mouth before there’s time to stop it.] somewhere meaty, I guess?

You're encouraging me to be more of a creature? [ The fact this absolutely tracks is just - yeah, he's lucky. ] If I didn't already believe you about not leaving, that would do it.

But that's weird, you know?

[ He can't help but give him a quick kiss, it's just required at this point. ]

You're weird. I love you.

[ That's also required to say, okay? But now he's considering how to actually do this. If he forces and jumps into it, he won't have time to think it through. ]

Look, I'm not picking where. Feels like too much. Offer something up.

Just a little. [He says, pinching his fingers close together in show.

He kisses him back and scrunches his nose at the comment.] I love you, too. [A beat. Two.] And if it's weird to support your boyfriend's very specific dietary needs, I don't wanna be normal.

[He smiles a little and runs his fingers through Josh's hair.] I won't make you pick. Just thinking out loud. [He thinks he gets why Josh doesn't want to make that choice, it's too much like the idea of eating his own kills, when he gets deer for Hannah, just something he can't force himself to cross the line on. And he's barely just starting to entertain this offer at all, so Bob doesn't mind being decisive on this.]

Let's go with thigh, okay?

...see, I don't want to be thinking about that the next time I go down on you, but if you think it's the best place.

[ He considers where they are, though, and scrutinizes the door to the cinema room. He can't really tell - ]

We're moving if this place doesn't have a lock on the door. If someone walked in, they could heavily misunderstand and then I'd be toast.

Easier to hide. Nobody’s gonna ask questions. [Whatever degree of acceptance there is of having Josh hang around the tower, he’s not sure he could get away with that. He’ll heal a lot quicker than most, but… it’s still not something he wants to put either of them through with the rest of his friends.]

No lock in here, where do you want to go? [His own room seems most logical- but Josh is already feeling some type of way about this whole thing, and maybe that would be a link too far?]

It won't heal up as quick?

[ Because if that's true, that's a concern to him. He considers the question - his room would make sense and he could be okay with it, except one thing. ]

There's probably going to be a mess? It has to be somewhere that can be cleaned with little fuss.

It will, I just don't know exactly how long it'll take. I don't have- like- reference for it? I mean, besides Bucky and Alexei, but their serums don't even work the same, and what I got was different than both of theirs.

[Limits. He hasn't tested them. Mostly because he's been too busy burying his head in the sand over his abilities after The Void Incident.]

Shower, then?

[The planning and logistics part of this feels... strange in a way he can't quite pinpoint. Maybe that's how it should feel when you're offering the Hannibal Lite Dinner Plate to your own boyfriend, though... At least, if this does become more than a one-off thing, they'll have this part under them already. Though he won't discount that Josh might just... not be able to repeat it, but in that case, they'll just pivot and shift to some other idea. He can't just watch Josh deteriorate in front of him.]

Okay.

[ He doesn't get up yet, though. He just moves in close and takes in his warmth, the feel of him, his scent. He closes his eyes for a long moment, then finally stands. ]

Let's get it done.

[Bob doesn't rush him, just lets him soak up the warmth and the comfort he's seeking. But when he stands and seems so decisive about it, Bob gets up too.

He lets Josh choose whether to linger closer or put some kind of distance between them as they walk out of the cinema room; if he seems receptive to it, he tangles their fingers together as they weave through the tower.]

[ He is receptive to it, but kind of keeps a distance otherwise. He's really in his head about this and it's hurting him hard. But he walks at a decent pace and they get there soon enough. ]

So how are we doing this?

[ Forgive him, he's already dissociated a bunch away. ]

[The showers in the tower are... spacious, fancy walk-ins with benches and rainfall showerheads, shower wands and pressure jets in the walls, heated floors, the works. It'll make this really simple in the end.

But simple doesn't mean easy and he knows this is crossing just about every damn line Josh has tried so hard not to cross in the wendigo situation. But... it's still a little jarring to hear him cut straight to the quick like that once they're in the room.]

First- [He turns, linked fingers squeezing gently as his free hand comes up to curl around one side of Josh's face, thumb trailing gently across his cheek. He's making this whatever sense of <>' better that he can, all things considered.] Baby, just remember... I gave you permission. And it'll be okay... [He leans in to press a kiss to the middle of his forehead.] You'll see.

[That all said... he drops his hand away from Josh's face and he shifts so they're side-by-side again. If Josh hasn't let go of his hand, then they're still linked, because Bob's doing everything he can to comfort him, despite everything.]

[ He has to smile at the attempts to assure him. He squeezes his hand and leans in to give him a brief, adoring kiss to the lips. Lingers for a moment or two, before pulling back.

Things are coming back to him, dissociating something away doesn't always last. ]

You said thigh, right? You'll need to strip a little.

[The smile he gives gets one in return; his attempts seem to be working at least as much as they can. Bob kisses him back softly, lingering as long as he wants.

At the question, he nods a little.] Mm-hmm.

[The whole process feels awkward, but he'd already decided on the walk over here, he wouldn't let any hesitation show. He'd never get Josh this far again if he seemed apprehensive now, it'd just be game over, back to square one.

So, there's nothing shy or awkward about him as he slips out of his jeans and sets them aside, only a loose t-shirt and boxers now, and heads over to sit on the shower bench. There's a sharp intake of breath because- wow, okay, jesusfuck that's cold!]

[ He looks at him without moving forward, not yet. The way he deals with being uncomfortable is by talking, and usually in a way that isn't friendly to children. So he's just going to do a little bit of that, thanks. ]

You know you paint a pretty picture, right? Let me appreciate a moment, or I'll get up there and be too distracted to remember the real task.

Shut uuup. [He playfully whines about the compliment- partially because... it's sort of his natural reaction to these things, but also a little bit because he thinks it might help ease the nerves he knows are on fire in Josh right now if he keeps things light.

He points a playfully accusatory finger at him, eyes narrowed in jest.] No distractions, mister. We're here for a purpose.

Right, right. I'll just worship you more later, especially because I'll be thankful.

[ He moves in closer, enough that he's standing close enough for their legs to touch. He removes his overkill amount of layers of shirts, because there's no telling if blood might get on them or not.

He's probably even skinnier at this point, and now that he's revealed it, he doesn't meet his eyes. ]

I kinda hope that’s a threat and not just a promise. [He says with a suggestive smirk at the idea.

It’s been a bit since he’d last seen Josh shirtless, a purposeful move on his part, Bob thinks. Now, he can see why- it’s a worrisome look, and has Bob’s face twisting in concern. He only feels more validated in his decision now. Monster with a probably supernatural lifespan or not, he can’t keep this up forever.]

C’mere. [He says softly, reaching up toward his face; if he leans down into his space, Bob will make sure their foreheads are pressed together and he’ll keep his voice low.] It’s okay. Just remember: You’re not pushing me into anything, I’m telling you right now. Explicitly. I am allowing this to happen. Got it?

That's the problem, though.

[ He's up close and with their foreheads pressed together like that, he can't help but open his eyes against. He's trying to look into this man's own gorgeous pair, be comforted by the love he knows he'll see in them. He can't help but reach to touch Bob's cheek. ]

The fact you have to even consider allowing it isn't great. In fact, I hate it.

Hey… [He reaches up to frame either side of his face with his hands.]

Joshua… baby… listen to me… please don’t get in your head about this, okay? I know you hate it, but you’d do the same for me in the reverse and you do deserve the same treatment you would hand someone else, I don’t care what your stupid brain is telling you.

[He presses somehow impossibly closer, and leans in far enough he can press a kiss to the tip of his nose— something lighthearted and silly to hopefully break some of the tension.]

I just don't want to cause you pain.

[ He gets on a logical level that Bob is going to heal. He understands this is with full consent. He just doesn't know how he's going to tolerate seeing or causing a negative experience, especially one like that.

But he can't help but smile for a brief moment at that kiss. ]

I guess I better think of it like trading your emotional pain for physical, huh?

[ He'll force himself down when Bob stops touching his face, but for the moment, he needs this. ]

Something like that. [He nods a little, brushing his thumb across the arch of Josh's cheek, smiling softly. Bob leans in to give him a proper kiss, something soft and sweet, and his voice is barely above a whisper: ]

C'mon... the quicker you do it, the quicker it's over. [Which is meant to speak to Josh's anxieties, not his own; Bob is as calm as can be right now.]

How are you so damn calm about this?

[ He doesn't get it at all. But he's not going to delay longer, it would just add more and more anxiety for himself. Josh gives him one more kiss, using this to steel himself, then drops to his knees.

He's instantly blank of where he's supposed to be feeding off again, dissociation strikes again. In the end, he makes a guess and moves in closer to Bob's left thigh. Except he can't really figure out how to get his teeth to cooperate. He's not good at it yet and this weak, baby monster teeth nonsense isn't going to do shit. ]

So uh.

Not sure how to actually -

I trust you... [Which means even more than I love you for people like them in certain cases.

He returns that kiss and runs his fingers through Josh's hair once as he lowers down to his knees.

...Man, this shouldn't be hot, probably, considering everything going on.
But. It's a little hot.]

Me either- [He admits with a soft huff of a sigh. It's a learning experience all around right now.]

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Idk why this is so funny to me… I blame the Magnus archives lmao

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oops this became a whole ass novella

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Autocorrect like monster teeth? You mean monster TRUCK

#CloseEnough #Probably ; ...they're both so awkward rn 😭