(no subject)

[merlymrys]

the TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT meme

one ➝ post with your character and their name/canon/pref in the subject.
two ➝ either post with a tfln or just wait for someone.

three ➝ respond to people's texts or tag them with your own.

four ➝ fun time for all!

Comments

Alucard ☨ Hellsing

[houndings]

tried to paint your car with goat blood.






ran out of goats.

[divine_punishment]

I don't even have a car, you crazy bastard.

[Five minutes later:]

You took Maxwell's, didn't you.

ohhh, yes.

[houndings]

plate read POPESBITCH. good enuff.

I'm forseeing a train wreck

[divine_punishment]

Please don't tell me you crashed it into a Dairy Queen. Again.

OHHH YES YES YES /sorry, I'm gleeing too hard to be coherent XD

[houndings]

frenchman drove. i rode shotgun. ALL OVER THE VATICAN!!@e(*&$%r&(# SHOOTING MAILBOXES

[war_dog]

I do not have a car.

You have dialed an incorrect number.

[houndings]

smile. all your teeth might fall out.

[war_dog]

I would regenerate them immediately.

You have interrupted my call to your master.

[houndings]

I KNOW. she's BUSY. go AWAY.

[war_dog]

I must verify information with her. You are being an annoyance.

[houndings]

[Hi, have you MET Alucard?]

LIVE WITH IT. or-----not, if you'd rather. say the word, wolf, and i'll fix that problem for you.

[war_dog]

Silver and flame could not destroy me. I doubt your ability to succeed where they have failed, or I would have come to you for it.

[searchdestroy]

[ ...WHAT?!

Ring, ring! Ring, ring!

Why isn't he answering?

After the third try, Integra resorts to text. ]

ANSWER THE PHONE

[houndings]

only if you promise not to yell at me

[searchdestroy]

[ But Alucard, how else can she convey the depth of her anger? (Although, she realizes that's the reaction he wants.)

He dare ask for a request from her?! Joke or not, she won't dignify that with a response.

And already she's sending a text to Walter, to confirm if any of her cars are missing or a bit more colorful than usual. After waiting for his answer, she'll dial Alucard's number again with a press of a button.

Ring, ring! ]

[houndings]

[Don't hold your breath, Sir Hellsing. Because you can't make him actually answer the phone. Although, the basement's open if you'd care to visit. He'll pull you up a chair and everything.]

[searchdestroy]

[ Oh no you didn't.

Soon after, she storms into the basement to see if he's there. And surprise, surprise. He is. ]

[houndings]

[He did. Are we surprised? And, true to his word, there's an identical high-backed chair sitting empty, waiting. Alucard didn't bother getting up, of course. She'd just nail him back into the chair, after all. So why bother?]

Good evening, Master...what can I do ya for, hm?

[searchdestroy]

[ Her expression is stoic, calm. She doesn't even glance at the empty chair and instead retrieves a weapon from her coat. Without a word, she fires at him.

It's a waste of ammunition, she knows, but right now, she doesn't care. At least it provides temporary stress relief. ]

Here goes nothin' :|

[havesomemanners]

You //what//?

[she will not kill him. She will not kill him. She will not kill him.]

I'm going to kill him.

[houndings]

the clear coat was peeling. i had to FIX it, right?

[havesomemanners]

I ought to do something horrible to you, Alucard. Is it salvageable?

[houndings]

promises, promises. wel-l-l it sounds like there might be a greased pig squealing inside the engine, but other than that, do I LOOK like a mechanic?

[havesomemanners]

You look like whatever I want you to be. I want that car fixed and returned exactly as you found it, where you found it, by noon tomorrow. Do I make myself clear?

[houndings]

Crystal. Tell Walter I won't be needing supper tonight, will you?