toastysocks: (Default)
toastysocks ([personal profile] toastysocks) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet2017-09-08 12:05 pm
Entry tags:
alphavixen: (pic#11709375)

veronica lodge | riverdale

[personal profile] alphavixen 2017-09-08 05:14 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Archie fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.

2. I woke up and found my apartment really clean, apparently drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...

3. There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just in case.

4. Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.

5. I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
jugheadjones: (idea guy)

1

[personal profile] jugheadjones 2017-09-08 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
of all of the things I needed to know this sure wasn't one of them

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girlandherstaff: (Default)

Rey | Star Wars

[personal profile] girlandherstaff 2017-09-08 05:15 pm (UTC)(link)
1. I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol

2. He may be 6' 2" but I'm 119 lbs of pure rage and determination

3. I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken ex-stormtrooper and pilot instead

4. Oh my god I need an adult
...
Wait shit I am an adult

5. man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking hit everything with your weapon while angry

6. Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.

7. Text her!
forcefullyunstable: (angry)

5

[personal profile] forcefullyunstable 2017-09-08 10:24 pm (UTC)(link)
And now I'm satisfied, while you're still delightfully miserable!

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badarsedbabe: (Default)

Scaramouche | We Will Rock You

[personal profile] badarsedbabe 2017-09-08 05:15 pm (UTC)(link)
1. I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"

2. My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life

3. You are the epitome of what awesome would be like.

4. You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.

5. To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?

6. I forgot a bra so I just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.

7. text her
preciousbrat: (hey you)

Eren Jaeger | Shingeki no Kyojin

[personal profile] preciousbrat 2017-09-08 05:16 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse

2. You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together

3. And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.

4. I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!

5. I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.

6. Text him
sarcasstic: (pic#11634219)

Tony Stark | MCU

[personal profile] sarcasstic 2017-09-08 05:17 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Already doing pt exercises by picking my scotch up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.

2. She fell asleep with her hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.

3. So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?

4. Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.

5. TEXT HIM.
everybodywas: (What does that even mean?)

3

[personal profile] everybodywas 2017-09-08 05:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I had days like those.

What level of bad are we talking about? The 'I added salt instead of sugar to my coffee' one or the 'I might have created a super-weapon that is out of control' kind?
Edited 2017-09-08 18:00 (UTC)

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blazearang: (Default)

Aika | Skies of Arcadia | OTA

[personal profile] blazearang 2017-09-08 05:18 pm (UTC)(link)
1. I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.

2. You is good. You is important. You is a slut.

3. I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.

4. I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
scarlet_devil: ([Teen] Annoyed Blush)

1.

[personal profile] scarlet_devil 2017-09-08 05:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks to you, the whole mansion heard it!

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fourknives: (Default)

Robert Small 🔪 Dream Daddy 🔪 ota + misfires welcome

[personal profile] fourknives 2017-09-08 05:19 pm (UTC)(link)
a. I just figured out how to toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. Fuck yeah.

b. It's wednesday. OF COURSE I'M DRUNK.

c. Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.

d. I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.

e. [ text him! ]
b_e_w_obsessiveskeptic: (confusion)

d

[personal profile] b_e_w_obsessiveskeptic 2017-09-08 05:56 pm (UTC)(link)
A corn dog is not worth a knife fight.

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omg i'm gonna cry

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YES. YES I AM

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gridfather: (Maker)

Kevin Flynn | Tron: Legacy

[personal profile] gridfather 2017-09-08 05:20 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse

2. so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.

3. You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.

4. TEXT HIM
quorrathexplora: (Default)

1.

[personal profile] quorrathexplora 2017-09-08 05:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Am I supposed to have a pulse?

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clipsthru: (pic#11710349)

togata mirio ☆ bnha

[personal profile] clipsthru 2017-09-08 05:20 pm (UTC)(link)
01. so i've already made 5 bad decisions today!
02. okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
03. i woke up and found my room really clean, apparently drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
04. or text him!
gistofthetwist: (13)

1

[personal profile] gistofthetwist 2017-09-08 06:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow really? Already?!
That's like, crazy fast! then again I guess that's a pretty normal amount for you to make, don't you think? So what were they? Did you phase into the girl's shower on accident again? I still can't believe that first year was able to karate chop you with her giant hand like that! I was so impressed I just had to make her my kouhai!

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nyan_nyan: (Default)

Ranka Lee | Macross Frontier | OTA

[personal profile] nyan_nyan 2017-09-08 05:20 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Life without a bra equals bliss.

2. Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.

3. you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.

4. Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
true_noir: (Creeper)

3 Misfire

[personal profile] true_noir 2017-09-08 07:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I find that somewhat unlikely, given how strap-ons work.

So, who do I get to murder in a back alley?

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deucesnerds: (Default)

mary christiansen | dads dating dads: the game

[personal profile] deucesnerds 2017-09-08 05:21 pm (UTC)(link)
i don't know why i bit your face last night, but i'm sorry.
heckraiser: (pic#11594634)

[personal profile] heckraiser 2017-09-09 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
I don't think you are.

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dekyou: @ fullcowl (pic#11608010)

midoriya izuku ☆彡 bnha

[personal profile] dekyou 2017-09-08 05:21 pm (UTC)(link)
i. I woke up saran wrapped to a chair...
ii. I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
iii. Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so hungover?
iv. Text him.
potato_powerhouse: (stumped)

2

[personal profile] potato_powerhouse 2017-09-08 06:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Fad diets aren't any better for bulking up than they are for slimming down, Deku-Deku!

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18th_century_rockstar: (Tell me more)

Wolfgang Mozart | Amadeus

[personal profile] 18th_century_rockstar 2017-09-08 05:21 pm (UTC)(link)
1. This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.

2. This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend

3. Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.

4. My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?

5. 69'd by candlelight when the power went out.

6. Text him
ceoinstilettos: (pic#10247306)

pepper potts | mcu

[personal profile] ceoinstilettos 2017-09-08 05:21 pm (UTC)(link)
1.So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration". sometimes, life is insane. but not so bad.

2.I woke up and found my apartment really clean, apparently drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...

3. It's Wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.

4. Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse.

5.Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Edited 2017-09-08 17:44 (UTC)
eyeofthehawk: (Default)

5

[personal profile] eyeofthehawk 2017-09-08 09:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Depends. Are dogs allowed?

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notsuperman: { a beard doesn't make one a philosopher } (❋ barba non facit philosophum)

phi | zero escape

[personal profile] notsuperman 2017-09-08 05:21 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.

2. THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO

3. Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.

4. What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention

5. Text her!
dadmight: (☆ 004)

yagi toshinori ☆彡 bnha

[personal profile] dadmight 2017-09-08 05:22 pm (UTC)(link)
one. Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse.
two. Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
three. I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up.
four. Or text him
hardening: <font face="courier"> (they don't see it)

3, wrong number?

[personal profile] hardening 2017-09-09 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
was it a lizard dressed like harry potter?
or harry potter dressed like a lizard?
now i want to know
hauntedhome: (Default)

Lydia Deetz 🕷 Beetlejuice 🕷 ota + misfires welcome

[personal profile] hauntedhome 2017-09-08 05:22 pm (UTC)(link)
a. Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just going lay here and wait for death; shouldn't be long now.

b. I don't need tinder boy anymore, but I do need free sushi.

c. For my self portrait presentation I painted myself in the style of a Victorian corpse portrait. Now I'm in the counselor's office.

d. Fuck, Marry, Kill: George Byron, Mary Shelley, Percy Shelley.

e. [ text her! ]
outofthemanor: (Default)

d

[personal profile] outofthemanor 2017-09-08 05:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Does it have to be one per option?

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I HAD TO

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!!!!!!

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made_of_stars: (Default)

jyn erso || rogue one || ota

[personal profile] made_of_stars 2017-09-08 05:22 pm (UTC)(link)
1: I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and I'm coming up blank, so ...

2: Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.

3: And by "I love you" I mean "I want your tongue down my throat.

4: how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker

5: If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.

6: [bring your own text]
syndont: (skepticism)

4

[personal profile] syndont 2017-09-08 06:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Depends. What kind of stuff have you been through together so far? Also how long have you known them?

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partyhats: (Default)

Lissa | Fire Emblem Awakening | OTA

[personal profile] partyhats 2017-09-08 05:22 pm (UTC)(link)
1. She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.

2. So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.

3. This couple is walking their pig around campus
kickass_cavalier: (Umm...)

1

[personal profile] kickass_cavalier 2017-09-08 06:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Well if it helps, she's not the only MILF you've managed to attract... so I guess your claim does hold water.

[Yup... Sully would totally bone the princess too, but she's referring to Maribelle.]

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agtwashington: (dramatic)

Agent Washington | Red vs. Blue

[personal profile] agtwashington 2017-09-08 05:23 pm (UTC)(link)
1: Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse

2: No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called ___.

3: Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis

4: ___ fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.

5: Text him.
Edited 2017-09-08 20:52 (UTC)
only_half_a_god: (alarm)

2

[personal profile] only_half_a_god 2017-09-09 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
That's the only right choice.

Last time I ate there my body made sure to let me know that all bets of feeling decent were off for the whole day.

Re: 2

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rebellionbuilt: (Default)

cassian andor || rogue one || ota

[personal profile] rebellionbuilt 2017-09-08 05:23 pm (UTC)(link)
1: You fell asleep with your hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.

2: I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.

3: Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.

4: I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys.

5: I'd date you. I'd date the fucking shit out of you.

6: [bring your own text]
syndont: (Default)

4

[personal profile] syndont 2017-09-08 06:29 pm (UTC)(link)
She definitely sounds like a keeper.

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shelbycobra: (Default)

Shelby Manning | Need For Speed OC

[personal profile] shelbycobra 2017-09-08 05:25 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Hey, sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night. I was actually just checking that you had a pulse.

2. I literally am filling up a Victoria's Secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack.

3. How about the first time that I ever saw him naked was in my car? MY CAR. GODDAMNIT.

4. Text her.
Edited 2017-09-08 17:27 (UTC)
myregret: (Default)

Louis De Pointe Du Lac ⚰️ Interview with the Vampire ⚰️ ota + misfires welcome

[personal profile] myregret 2017-09-08 05:25 pm (UTC)(link)
{ voicetesing! }

a. He fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.

b. I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.

c. Well, at least you got laid last night. I woke up on a pile of dirt.

d. He shit in the fireplace.

e. [ text him ]
Edited 2017-09-08 17:52 (UTC)
tropdesnotes: (no escaping when i start)

c

[personal profile] tropdesnotes 2017-09-08 05:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Dear friend, would it surprise you at all to know this is the second time I have had to double check the contact information on your texts to ascertain whether this is you or Antonio?

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I'M FUC K ING WEEPI N G

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b, misfire, louis you idiot

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keep cruel and carry on

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robocopper: synthedick (pic#10682642)

Nick Valentine | Fallout 4

[personal profile] robocopper 2017-09-08 05:27 pm (UTC)(link)
1. I left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS.
2. From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
3. You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. How exactly is that doing well?
4. I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
cryptosleep: (Still Saved My Life Countless Times)

1 - I hope you don't mind a female!sole!

[personal profile] cryptosleep 2017-09-09 12:15 am (UTC)(link)
You need to learn to lighten up, Nick. Learn to live a little.

Or dodge. Maybe dodging would be better.

OF COURSE NOT

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crackpire: sways @ dw (Default)

Proinsias Cassidy | Preacher

[personal profile] crackpire 2017-09-08 05:27 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
2. I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
3. I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
4. soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
nolongerconstipated: (tae fuck)

3

[personal profile] nolongerconstipated 2017-09-09 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
i have cunt written on mine and im goddamn offended
Edited 2017-09-09 00:01 (UTC)

BLESS U

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