redhairedknight: (is that a challenge?)

Erza Scarlet | Fairy Tail

[personal profile] redhairedknight 2017-05-19 11:39 am (UTC)(link)
1. I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.

2. How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?

3. I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often

4. Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.

5. We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.

6. Text her!
goodwithnumbers: character: my first chara in the game, Jedi Sentinel Eli Vanto. Heh. (Default)

1

[personal profile] goodwithnumbers 2017-05-19 11:40 am (UTC)(link)
The second one. It's the second one!

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goodwithnumbers: character: my first chara in the game, Jedi Sentinel Eli Vanto. Heh. (pic#)

Eli Vanto | Star Wars | OTA | voicetesting

[personal profile] goodwithnumbers 2017-05-19 11:39 am (UTC)(link)
1.

Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.

2.

I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.

3.

We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you

4.

He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad

5. Text him.
9601: (.129)

logan howlett | xmu | ota

[personal profile] 9601 2017-05-19 11:41 am (UTC)(link)
1. ‪Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.

2. you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish

3. "I expected better from you" well that was your fault I've got nothing to do with that

4. I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to class with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent

5. TEXT HIM
powerunleashed: (sunglasses)

1.

[personal profile] powerunleashed 2017-05-19 12:29 pm (UTC)(link)
i can totally fly. im gonna try the empire state building.

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kitchensamurai: made by <user name=heist> (pic#9634465)

kuroh yatogami | k project

[personal profile] kitchensamurai 2017-05-19 11:44 am (UTC)(link)
1. I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.

2. It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.

3. Good morning. Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you

4. (text him!)
monkeyblue: (Excuse Me?)

2

[personal profile] monkeyblue 2017-05-19 04:36 pm (UTC)(link)
How did you even get my number and why do you think I care?

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upadly_aniol: (is that all the accusations)

Mitsunari Ishida | Sengoku Basara | OTA

[personal profile] upadly_aniol 2017-05-19 11:45 am (UTC)(link)
1. Tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet!!!

2. Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.

3. Text him!
k2so: (o_o)

K-2SO | Rogue one

[personal profile] k2so 2017-05-19 11:47 am (UTC)(link)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!

2. You texted me 'You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable' and made it sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.

3. OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO

4. You were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.

goodwithnumbers: temporary PB: Thomas Kretschmann in Romański's "Pianist" (pic#11415870)

2

[personal profile] goodwithnumbers 2017-05-19 12:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Maybe they're just awkward. Or foreign.

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like sam isn't?

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Okay good point haha

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dominus: (Default)

Ezio Auditore | Assassin's Creed

[personal profile] dominus 2017-05-19 11:48 am (UTC)(link)
1. ‪She eyed me up across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex"

2. I'll just say I told you so at your funeral

3. Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter.

4. TEXT HIM
outofthemanor: (Default)

2

[personal profile] outofthemanor 2017-05-19 11:56 am (UTC)(link)
How kind. You always say the right thing

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knowntohisfriends: (Default)

The Artful Dodger | Oliver Twist

[personal profile] knowntohisfriends 2017-05-19 11:49 am (UTC)(link)
1. HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night

2. Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.

3. We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?

4. Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?

5. You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures

6. TEXT HIM
Edited 2017-05-19 11:50 (UTC)
stauncherhearted: (and here i'll stay)

3

[personal profile] stauncherhearted 2017-05-19 02:47 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't remember. At all. All I remember is a bottle of gin and saying I'd finish the whole thing.

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gymnasty: (8)

akane owari / super dangan ronpa 2

[personal profile] gymnasty 2017-05-19 11:53 am (UTC)(link)
1. Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"

2. yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand

3. Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.

4. You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures

5. text her?
nodyinteam: (boisterous laugh)

1

[personal profile] nodyinteam 2017-05-19 01:09 pm (UTC)(link)
LMAO

QUEEN OF TAKING A SHIT

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turnedouthuman: (Default)

Adam Young | Good Omens

[personal profile] turnedouthuman 2017-05-19 11:54 am (UTC)(link)
1. But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy

2. You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?

3. I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.

4. As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs

5. Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.

6. TEXT HIM
pollutants: (009)

2

[personal profile] pollutants 2017-05-19 09:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I do



...Do you expect me to tell you why?

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urbosabs: (Default)

Urbosa | LoZ Breath of the Wild | ota

[personal profile] urbosabs 2017-05-19 11:59 am (UTC)(link)
1. Someone played tic tac toe on my abs???

2. It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold.

3. [text her!]
Edited (dat html) 2017-05-19 11:59 (UTC)
wadefuns: (Default)

Deadpool | YOU ALL KNOW WHERE I'M FROM

[personal profile] wadefuns 2017-05-19 11:59 am (UTC)(link)
1. I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.

2. How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?

3. She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.

4. So the Wonder Woman movie due out soon and I gotta say I will be there on opening day because this needs a HUGE box office. I mean, not as big as mine but just about.
She's such a goddess

5. WHY WON'T THOR LET ME BRUSH HIS GLORIOUS LOCKS?

6. Text him.
evreica: (honey you can't hide)

4

[personal profile] evreica 2017-05-19 12:28 pm (UTC)(link)
You truly use your powers -- as they were -- for good.

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forcefullyawkward: (candy)

Kylo Ren - Star Wars (modern AU or whatever)

[personal profile] forcefullyawkward 2017-05-19 12:03 pm (UTC)(link)
1. There's nothing wrong with using spice to keep my heart rate up while training!

2. There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!

3. In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever!! I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now!!

4. Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key. This is your doing. Isn't it.

5. [Text the Kylo]
dorkvader: (Texting)

4

[personal profile] dorkvader 2017-05-19 03:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Stop going to Snoke's parties and going home wasted.



Consider it a training exercise.

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kuyamu: (he has his own gift too)

hanzo shimada ( overwatch )

[personal profile] kuyamu 2017-05-19 12:03 pm (UTC)(link)
1) Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
2) Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
3) i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
4) i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
5) [ obligatory TEXT HIM option ]
outflank: (pic#10836161)

4

[personal profile] outflank 2017-05-19 04:35 pm (UTC)(link)
The dog really craved some yogurt. Who am I to deny it?

I'm sure Master would have done the same.


[ Sans... crossing guards vest and boxers, but that isn't the point. ]

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desecrated: (confused)

Sherlock Holmes || Sherlock BBC || m/m

[personal profile] desecrated 2017-05-19 12:09 pm (UTC)(link)
1. I woke up in a beaver hat and construction vest.. I need answers.
2. Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
3. I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying. Send help.
4. Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequila.


Edited 2017-05-19 12:15 (UTC)
pittwo: (Default)

Dark Pit | Kid Icarus

[personal profile] pittwo 2017-05-19 12:13 pm (UTC)(link)
1. This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.

2. I don't know which you need first...a shower or a confessional.

3. Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.

Or Text him
dedikated: (132 | ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ꜰɪʟʟs ᴜᴘ ᴍʏ ʙᴏᴅʏ)

kate galloway. original.

[personal profile] dedikated 2017-05-19 12:17 pm (UTC)(link)
( one ) Future reference: me asking if "you're free ;)" doesn't mean going for a tandem bike ride.
( two ) So drunk you didn't notice when I switched your jäger for maple syrup before or after you drank it.
( three ) Need to grocery shop. Have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
locations: (ɢᴏᴛ ʏᴏᴜ sᴡᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜ)

suzanna (six) moon. original.

[personal profile] locations 2017-05-19 12:18 pm (UTC)(link)
( one ) Fun fact: dicks can be used to catapult cheetos.
( two ) When I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
( three ) I found the vodka. It was hiding in the orange juice.
whitegirldreads: (let's get some shoes)

3

[personal profile] whitegirldreads 2017-05-19 12:24 pm (UTC)(link)
shit, mine was hiding in the sprite. think you win.

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1 and 2!

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<3

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havingprecision: (Default)

Oliver Queen - Arrow - OTA

[personal profile] havingprecision 2017-05-19 12:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Oliver:
1.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire

2. I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on. That’s how hungover I am.

3. Your vodka Saturday priveleges have been reduced to beer until you can go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
wearamask: (Amused)

2

[personal profile] wearamask 2017-05-19 01:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Do you know there are instructions on boxes of Poptarts? And the first one is to take it out of the wrapper.

Do you need me to come over?

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whitegirldreads: (HA HA)

Shaundi | Saints Row 2

[personal profile] whitegirldreads 2017-05-19 12:23 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant

2. keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something

3. but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night

4. I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.

5. text her
winterplum: (Default)

Mei-Ling Zhou | Overwatch

[personal profile] winterplum 2017-05-19 12:24 pm (UTC)(link)
1. You have to come over now. He's eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.

2. How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?

3. Sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm.

4. Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.

5. Text her
koishi_komeiji: Art by: murata (kendou) (18 Trollface)

4

[personal profile] koishi_komeiji 2017-05-19 05:37 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm an ancient spirit monster so I only understand one of those things. Are you sober enough to guess which or should I just tell you?

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millenials: (Default)

ezekiel jones | the librarians

[personal profile] millenials 2017-05-19 12:29 pm (UTC)(link)
001 | Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
002 | thanks a lot mate. i'm grateful for your gift of pure salt
003 | I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of person
gleams: (pic#11391281)

3

[personal profile] gleams 2017-05-19 03:36 pm (UTC)(link)
That's because I'm more of the...well, me riding on a dinosaur and singing type of person.

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wouldhave: (Default)

Grantiare / Les Mis

[personal profile] wouldhave 2017-05-19 12:33 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.

2. If you don't consider wine and cereal a good breakfast, unfriend me now.

3. So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?

4. maybe he's asexual. i could live with that. fuck i could live outside his door sleeping on the doormat
jondrette: (pic#9698881)

4

[personal profile] jondrette 2017-05-19 02:49 pm (UTC)(link)
a door mat is better than no mat

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idealisme: (Au grand vent de la liberté)

Enjolras / Les Miserables

[personal profile] idealisme 2017-05-19 12:34 pm (UTC)(link)
1.I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed

2. Why, thank you for your unwanted opinion.

3. Whoever keeps sending me dick picks needs to stop right now.

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ride_emcowboy: (Default)

Jesse McCree | Overwatch

[personal profile] ride_emcowboy 2017-05-19 12:35 pm (UTC)(link)
1. fun fact: a penis can be used to catapult cheetos

2. i’m a grower not a show-er
what do this mean u might ask?
means my peepee's dumb small when it’s soft but when i get hard my shit's bigger than your feet
anyway
the upside to this? no one ever expects how big i get when i’m hard it’s like “damn i ain’t even notice u got a big ass dick boy”
the downside?
if i get pantsed in public i immediately gotta start jackin off before i pull my pants back up in order to get hard if not everyone'll think i’m packin chicken nugget when in reality im not vegan but i brought the cucumber with me

3. text him lmao
undemonized: (☠ peanut↬butter↬cup)

goodbye world ( 1 )

[personal profile] undemonized 2017-05-19 12:52 pm (UTC)(link)
another fun fact: my boobs can be used to hold a chocolate bar.
if that's not impressive i don't know what is
also stop texting me weird shit
we went over this buffalo bill

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he only has but so much

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