bespredel: (Rᴏᴀʀɪɴɢ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴜɴᴛᴀɪɴ)

Yuri Plisetsky | Yuri on Ice

[personal profile] bespredel 2017-02-17 06:46 pm (UTC)(link)
1. On the last page of the test I drew a picture of a cat and left. What the fuck do I have to know trigonometry for anyway?

2. You passed out in the park making "face down" snow angels... so that they could have a smile.

3. Text him!
boogiedown: (zero chill)

2

[personal profile] boogiedown 2017-02-17 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
But they look so happy now!!!!

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kinnetiks: (Default)

brian kinney ( qaf )

[personal profile] kinnetiks 2017-02-17 06:47 pm (UTC)(link)
1. I think you made your point. Now get off the roof.

2. I'm really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...

3. You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things.
clichecodename: (Huh)

3

[personal profile] clichecodename 2017-02-18 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
What makes you think I'd be any fucking help?
heterodoxy: (pic#10046006)

sherlock holmes . sherlock

[personal profile] heterodoxy 2017-02-17 06:47 pm (UTC)(link)
1. His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
2. Why is everyone judging me for telling a dog a bedtime story?
3. I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
4. I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
5. I'm a detective you cant FOOL me


or text him!
prettier: (091)

1.

[personal profile] prettier 2017-02-17 07:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Tell him yes, but it won't matter once masturbation's made him blind.

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fall3n: (Default)

lucifer morningstar (63), lucifer, ota

[personal profile] fall3n 2017-02-17 06:48 pm (UTC)(link)
a. You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
b. So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex."
c. Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
d. text her!
prepforwar: (4)

c

[personal profile] prepforwar 2017-02-17 07:36 pm (UTC)(link)
There are worse goals. Pretty sure you'll manage to make it happen.

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prompto argentum ▎ffxv

[personal profile] ussies 2017-02-17 06:49 pm (UTC)(link)
1) We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...

2) I just watched him sing Pure Imagination from Willy Wonka and then blow a banana

3) Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.

4) Text him.
mumistheword: (Almost smile)

3)

[personal profile] mumistheword 2017-02-17 07:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I have heard far worse takes on that.

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vampireblood: please don't take. (pic#10999375)

crowley eusford | owari no seraph

[personal profile] vampireblood 2017-02-17 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
1. It's simple. When his lips are on me I manage to tolerate him. When they're speaking I want to kill him.

2. After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.

3. I just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"

4. Or text him.
blackdogstar: (who me? im innocent!)

2

[personal profile] blackdogstar 2017-02-17 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Took you this long to realize?

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im_ironman: (pic#10193487)

Tony Stark | MCU

[personal profile] im_ironman 2017-02-17 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Guess where i woke up this morning? if you guessed the hospital, you are correct.

2. Just me, my scotch, and my backup scotch.

3. I did my patriotic duty today. I woke up next to a veteran.

4. [text him!]
scarlethour: (005)

2

[personal profile] scarlethour 2017-02-17 07:22 pm (UTC)(link)
So just usual then
You need more friends

omg /HUGGGG

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all the hugs tbh

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clinging forever nbd

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flashfast: (008)

wally west | dc comics

[personal profile] flashfast 2017-02-17 06:55 pm (UTC)(link)
1. sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.

2. Friendly warning: do not use the bathroom.

3. Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.

4. Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
crisised: (► ah yes. the eternal train problem.)

3!!

[personal profile] crisised 2017-02-17 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
what about one of aunt martha's pies?

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insurgentblade: (And this is an impression of Elrond)

Ulaz ⚔ Voltron

[personal profile] insurgentblade 2017-02-17 06:58 pm (UTC)(link)
1. One of the Paladins pointed at me and shrieked "designated driver!" Explain.

2. I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.

3. Seemingly, I agreed to take part in a reenactment of 'Space Jam.' I'm not sure if I want to remain ignorant, or if I should be fully prepared for whatever I've just agreed to.

4. Text him?
impulsors: lance (pic#10979700)

1

[personal profile] impulsors 2017-02-17 07:07 pm (UTC)(link)
he was designating you as the driver.

[ ??? explanation achieved? ]

that's lance. he shrieks a lot.

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skyhound: (092)

cullen rutherford ( dragon age )

[personal profile] skyhound 2017-02-17 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)
1) At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?

2) I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this?

3) I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.

4) Text him.
bold_in_deed: (5)

1

[personal profile] bold_in_deed 2017-02-18 02:29 am (UTC)(link)
since... always? I feel like you've made it clear on NUMEROUS occasions that you hate parties of any sort.

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twelfthspark: ([:)] we're the dreams you're believing)

Larxene ☇ Kingdom Hearts

[personal profile] twelfthspark 2017-02-17 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
I. It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-sync battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.

II. If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.

III. You're never gonna guess whose blood is on my shirt
Edited 2017-02-17 23:06 (UTC)
blackoutmedium: (Small Smile)

Julian Albert | Flash

[personal profile] blackoutmedium 2017-02-17 07:03 pm (UTC)(link)
1. The moral of the story is this: the last shot of the night is always a mistake

2. Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".

3. So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?

4. Text him.
chosenbylightning: (Default)

1

[personal profile] chosenbylightning 2017-02-17 07:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Cait is totally the queen of shots, man.

How's the head?

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2 - misfire!

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This made me laugh out loud.

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*DIES* I love it.

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foggedlight: (birch black)

Tathara Evenwood | Dungeons & Dragons OC

[personal profile] foggedlight 2017-02-17 07:03 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Just me, my scotch, and my backup scotch.

2. It began the way the best stories do — with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.

3. Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.

4. Or text her!
iwouldliketorage: (Smirk 1)

2

[personal profile] iwouldliketorage 2017-02-17 07:05 pm (UTC)(link)
To be fair, that's the way most of our stories start.

GROOOOOOOOOG

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<3

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<33

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ismecha: (Default)

Ein Dalton | Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans

[personal profile] ismecha 2017-02-17 07:04 pm (UTC)(link)
1. I would probably punch a child in the face for a lesser offense than that, to be honest.

2. You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?

3. He just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I can't respond.
deadlifts: (03)

1

[personal profile] deadlifts 2017-02-17 07:22 pm (UTC)(link)
You'd probably get wrecked right after, just saying.

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heroica: (tell me what you're running from)

warden cousland ; dragon age: origins

[personal profile] heroica 2017-02-17 07:05 pm (UTC)(link)
001. "You totally narrated the dog's thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened."

002. "She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there."
sylphid: <user name="aaveplsgo"> (idk my bff laura)

fie claussell ❀ trails of cold steel (ota)

[personal profile] sylphid 2017-02-17 07:10 pm (UTC)(link)
1. hotel room ftw

2. I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.

3. Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.

4. At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?

5. Text her or misfire!
Edited 2017-02-17 19:10 (UTC)
onmylove: (Default)

Yuri Katsuki | Yuri!!! On Ice

[personal profile] onmylove 2017-02-17 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)
1. We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny

2. Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?

3. At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?

4. I bawled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit

5. (send your own!)
Edited 2017-02-17 19:14 (UTC)
cherryflip: (Default)

1.

[personal profile] cherryflip 2017-02-17 07:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Do you think we're destiny, Yuuri?

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negotiates: (stop texting me at 3am)

Elijah Mikaelson | The Originals

[personal profile] negotiates 2017-02-17 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Sending me a thank you card for letting you sleep with my sister was completely inappropriate.

2. Let's recap. Do you remember biting that girl's hand?

3. Never let your siblings swipe right.

4. text him!
barbievampire: (pic#11004933)

3

[personal profile] barbievampire 2017-02-17 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Though I'm sure there is a story behind this, it makes me glad I'm an only child.

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webmistress: (did that sting?)

widowmaker | overwatch

[personal profile] webmistress 2017-02-17 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)
a. You broke a cabinet. You were climbing it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.

b. You were humming Mission Impossible as we ran from the police.

c. He didn't take off his bullet proof vest.

d. You were drunk and said there was a target on my lips.
pullsstrings: (02)

b

[personal profile] pullsstrings 2017-02-17 07:27 pm (UTC)(link)
It was that or the itsy bitsy spider.

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c

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d. oops

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norms: (pic#10936838)

egil | original | ota

[personal profile] norms 2017-02-17 07:15 pm (UTC)(link)
1 » i have bruises all over from falling so much last night
i even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street


2 » am i new drunk or am i still drunk?

3 » my phone can't type all the emotion i'm having

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indeterminates: (pic#10677975)

Sarah Reese | Chicago Med

[personal profile] indeterminates 2017-02-17 07:18 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.

2. I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.

3. I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
whosoeverholdsthishammer: (Default)

2

[personal profile] whosoeverholdsthishammer 2017-02-17 08:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I think it might be sprained.

Are you okay?

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triquey: (plastic 152)

Christophe Giacometti | Yuri!!! on ice

[personal profile] triquey 2017-02-17 07:18 pm (UTC)(link)
1. I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this

2. He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"

3. Do you have feelings for this penis?

4. I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.

5. TEXT HIM.
crispyno: (pic#10996992)

3

[personal profile] crispyno 2017-02-17 07:53 pm (UTC)(link)
CHRRRRIS GIACOMETTTTTI!!! I'm having a breakfast right now!

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heeros: (pic#10334563)

heero yuy ( gundam wing )

[personal profile] heeros 2017-02-17 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)
1. How did you get the entire sofa up on it's side and into the bathroom?

2. So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...

3. For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
humanconscience: (Default)

1.

[personal profile] humanconscience 2017-02-17 07:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Mathematics.

[ ... you asked, Heero. ]

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inshallah: (pic#10799419)

Trenton | MR ROBOT

[personal profile] inshallah 2017-02-17 07:21 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book.. I'm too sick for this.

2. Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach

3. I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
intrepido: (pic#11046614)

Frankie Cruz | Conviction

[personal profile] intrepido 2017-02-17 07:24 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?

2. I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him

3. you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.

4. You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air

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