colonists: (pic#10785359)

clarke griffin | the 100

[personal profile] colonists 2017-02-17 05:10 pm (UTC)(link)
a. Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am.

b. I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right

c. I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder

d. It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.

e.
text her!
runawayskrull: (MH - Jacket)

c

[personal profile] runawayskrull 2017-02-17 05:38 pm (UTC)(link)
What is tinder and why would you use it to try to get laid?
wherehopegoes: (Default)

Jyn Erso | Rogue One

[personal profile] wherehopegoes 2017-02-17 05:12 pm (UTC)(link)
1: Fine, I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive.

2: It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring

3: a victory without nudity is not really a victory

4: I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.

5: [Or text her!]

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audaces: (Default)

poe dameron ( estar guars )

[personal profile] audaces 2017-02-17 05:15 pm (UTC)(link)
a. well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. take it from strangers. they're much more reliable.
b. I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE.
c. i really wish i didn't have to wear pants, this is ridiculous.
d. i must say, your penis is just as photogenic as you.
compressor: (pic#10128431)

a

[personal profile] compressor 2017-02-17 05:32 pm (UTC)(link)
no, i'm just never doing them again.

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breakmotion: (pic#10693422)

Alec Lightwood | Shadowhunters

[personal profile] breakmotion 2017-02-17 05:17 pm (UTC)(link)
1. If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.

2. I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.

3. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.

4. I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
itchtokill: ({B&W} Hmm curious)

3

[personal profile] itchtokill 2017-02-17 06:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Lucky me.

Although if we're being honest, darling, you could be a model yourself.

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messofhangups: (023)

prompto | ffxv

[personal profile] messofhangups 2017-02-17 05:18 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak...?
2. Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
3. A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
4. i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

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open_rebellion: (Default)

Jyn Erso // Rogue One

[personal profile] open_rebellion 2017-02-17 05:19 pm (UTC)(link)
1. I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday

2. So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla

3. I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?

4. I feel like I smell like bad decisions

5. [Text her]
deadlifts: (Default)

Akihiro Altland | Gundam Iron Blooded Orphans

[personal profile] deadlifts 2017-02-17 05:21 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed

2. Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.

3. My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which.

4. Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
chortling: (pic#10766780)

Prokopenko | The Raven Cycle

[personal profile] chortling 2017-02-17 05:23 pm (UTC)(link)
1. When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.

2. i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes

3. All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers

4. He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep

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rockhardgems: (5)

dino ghiranze. ffxv.

[personal profile] rockhardgems 2017-02-17 05:23 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
2. IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
3. There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
4. I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
5. [ choose your own adventure! ]
photog: (130)

4

[personal profile] photog 2017-02-17 08:22 pm (UTC)(link)
wear a fake mustache. works like... 60% of the time

why am i allowed

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welp

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SAVAGERY

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WOW PROM WOW

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critical strike

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magicalprincess: (06)

Star Butterfly | Star Vs The Forces of Evil

[personal profile] magicalprincess 2017-02-17 05:27 pm (UTC)(link)
1.They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods

2. I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.

3. I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day

4. I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
alpha_twin: (GASP!)

2

[personal profile] alpha_twin 2017-02-18 05:47 am (UTC)(link)
OMG that's exactly how I've always wanted to be led to class!!

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thisismadfreaky: ({Jacket} Smirky over shoulder)

Cisco Ramon | The Flash

[personal profile] thisismadfreaky 2017-02-17 05:29 pm (UTC)(link)
1.  The answer is no. It's an illegal search & seizure!

2. I want you here. Ugh y r u so far away?

3. Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.

4. Text him!
rageblackouts: (smile ♥ i'm bitchin)

3.

[personal profile] rageblackouts 2017-02-17 05:36 pm (UTC)(link)
has that ever worked? like even once?

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subtlescarlet: (pic#11058115)

Betty Cooper | Riverdale

[personal profile] subtlescarlet 2017-02-17 05:29 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?

2. I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day.

3. So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.

4. I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes.

5. Text her!

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it just did sob

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cleanlines: (pic#10790181)

Jane Margolis | Breaking Bad

[personal profile] cleanlines 2017-02-17 05:30 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.

2. He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.

3. Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.

4. I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!

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fujita: (Default)

dorothy gale | emerald city

[personal profile] fujita 2017-02-17 05:30 pm (UTC)(link)
( 001 ) He was really cute! I's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
( 002 ) So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
youcouldbeagod: (So smirky)

Reverb | The Flash

[personal profile] youcouldbeagod 2017-02-17 05:31 pm (UTC)(link)
1. This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.

2. if you like me you must not know who I am

3. I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying

4. Text him!
quickgenius: (hand on hip)

2.

[personal profile] quickgenius 2017-02-17 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
» I know who you are.
» Still like you.

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FEELINGS WHAT ARE THOSE

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nomorefistbumps: (Hand hip sassy)

Krissy Chambers | Supernatural

[personal profile] nomorefistbumps 2017-02-17 05:32 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state

2. Just got yelled at by a priest...again.

3. I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other.
Also, I miss you too. A lot.

4. Text her!
kon_el: PB is Robbie Amell (Those Eyes)

3

[personal profile] kon_el 2017-02-17 05:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Having fun eh?

Awww. You do care!

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epireia: unless otherwise noted. (Default)

natasha romanoff | mcu

[personal profile] epireia 2017-02-17 05:33 pm (UTC)(link)
( 001 ) I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Got to stop watching the news before bed.
( 002 ) Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
soldierofthepast: (Laughing)

001

[personal profile] soldierofthepast 2017-02-17 05:51 pm (UTC)(link)
At least tell me you were winning.

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trombones: (here lies sans)

snas undertale

[personal profile] trombones 2017-02-17 05:33 pm (UTC)(link)
1. i need to stop getting so drunk at bowling

2. i just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am

3. never let your siblings swipe right

4. sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, i thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
ettersberg: (Default)

thomas nightingale | rivers of london

[personal profile] ettersberg 2017-02-17 05:34 pm (UTC)(link)
I never thought my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whiskey
yapometre: (Default)

Re: thomas nightingale | rivers of london

[personal profile] yapometre 2017-02-17 06:01 pm (UTC)(link)
You're typing quite coherently, considering.

Also, was that wave figurative or literal? Not sure what it says that I'm pretty certain the latter is more likely.

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chaosfollowsme: (Smirky smirky)

Fiona Gallagher | Shameless (US)

[personal profile] chaosfollowsme 2017-02-17 05:35 pm (UTC)(link)
1. I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.

2. I wanna come to ur house, drink liquor with u, fuck u, & kick it til I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for u?

3. honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
Owait fuckin' FRANK does.
What did I do to deserve this idiot asshole as my father, srsly

4. Text her!
mynameisbuckybarnes: (Oh?)

2

[personal profile] mynameisbuckybarnes 2017-02-17 05:42 pm (UTC)(link)
...absolutely. Now is good.

Yep.

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switch_over: (108)

Eas | Fresh Precure

[personal profile] switch_over 2017-02-17 05:35 pm (UTC)(link)
1. Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?

2. I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome

3. It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.

4. I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
bayarm: PLEASE DNT (Default)

shiro | voltron

[personal profile] bayarm 2017-02-17 05:35 pm (UTC)(link)
( 001 ) Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
( 002 ) I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
juniberries: (unamused)

001

[personal profile] juniberries 2017-02-17 06:22 pm (UTC)(link)
And actual sleep does not?

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[personal profile] bayarm - 2017-02-17 18:30 (UTC) - Expand
sleepsinblood: (contemplative - feed or seduce?)

Carmilla Karnstein | Carmilla

[personal profile] sleepsinblood 2017-02-17 05:36 pm (UTC)(link)

1. She told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.

2. If she was naked in my room I would talk to her

3. I get a little bitchy. we all know that

homiedontplay: (Default)

Kol Mikaelson (Human/FratBoy AU) | Vampire Diaries/The Originals

[personal profile] homiedontplay 2017-02-17 05:37 pm (UTC)(link)
1. I'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol & pissed off.

2. I hate your face

3. My memory of last night's ab, but fuzzy, but I heard we made out.

4. I'm gonna get wrecked tonite. I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts otherwise

5. Text him!

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[personal profile] homiedontplay - 2017-02-18 02:29 (UTC) - Expand

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[personal profile] chortling - 2017-02-18 08:20 (UTC) - Expand

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[personal profile] chortling - 2017-02-19 01:07 (UTC) - Expand

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[personal profile] amanofhonor - 2017-02-17 21:55 (UTC) - Expand

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[personal profile] homiedontplay - 2017-02-18 18:42 (UTC) - Expand
discusseding: like, mash it up with some tina turner and then give me a call (i'm not a big pussycat junkie personally)

jughead jones | riverdale

[personal profile] discusseding 2017-02-17 05:37 pm (UTC)(link)
1. I woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.

2. My fake ID says I'm a 34yr old russian lady... How is this working

3. And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. And then added "No homo" after.

4. ask him about the godfather of american cinema

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