absurdities: (( ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴜɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢʀᴀᴠᴇ ))
( ᴛʜɪs ᴍʏsᴛᴇʀʏ ᴏɴʟʏ ʟᴇᴀᴅs ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏᴜʙᴛ ) ([personal profile] absurdities) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet2017-02-04 09:33 pm

( quote prompt )

the quote prompt meme

  • comment with your character.
  • others will leave a quote/lyric/poem. try a sea of quotes or tumblr if you need help searching for a quote.
  • reply to them with a setting based on the quote/lyric/poem.
theonewhocounted: (Default)

[personal profile] theonewhocounted 2017-02-05 09:09 pm (UTC)(link)
A few options:

1. "But the hearts of small children are delicate organs. A cruel beginning in this world can twist them into curious shapes. The heart of a hurt child can shrink so that forever afterward it is hard and pitted as the seed of a peach. Or again, the heart of such a child may fester and swell until it is a misery to carry within the body, easily chafed and hurt by the most ordinary things.”

2. "Who has not asked himself at one time or another: am I a monster or is this what it means to be a person?"

3. "You know the incredible thing about hearts is their unbelievable capacity for forgiveness. You'd be amazed at what people overlook when they love someone."
consulting_freak: (Bullet Track)

[personal profile] consulting_freak 2017-02-05 09:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Sherlock had wanted to do it over text. Mycroft had suggested he didn't need to do anything at all, but Mycroft has always been somehow worse with people than he is. John's the one that said doing it in person would be the only right thing to do. John, he can trust with this.

'I love you.'

Three simple words meant to bring joy. Followed by a dropped call and the certainty of it being one of his games could only bring hurt. He's through hurting his friends.

Never again.

His finger hovers over Molly's doorbell for several seconds as he goes through the full script of his apology one last time before he presses down on the button. Surely once she knows the full story, she'll be grateful, wouldn't she? Three minutes of suffering is worth her life, isn't it?

Saved her? From what? Oh, do be sensible. There were no explosives in her little house. Why would I be so clumsy? You didn’t win. You lost.
theonewhocounted: (Looking down)

[personal profile] theonewhocounted 2017-02-05 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Since the call, Molly has cried, picked herself up off the ground, cried again, cleaned her whole flat, drank a bottle of wine while figuring out about a hundred ways to tell Sherlock to go fuck himself, drunkenly fallen asleep on the couch and then woke up determined not to let him take up any more of her time and tears. She has other problems. There are other people to mourn (Mary). Other people to care for (Rosie). It was like she went through all the stages of grief in one 24 hour period. She tells herself she's fine. It wasn't like she ever had his love to begin with. It's not like she's lost anything except maybe a bit more of her dignity. It's fine.

When the buzzer in her flat sounds, she is wrapping up a phone call with John who called her to tell her she doesn't need to come watch Rosie today. He will be home with her. She tries not to sound as disappointed as she is. Spending some time with Rosie was going to be the bright spot in her day. He says she can still pop by. He also implores her to listen to Sherlock's explanation, to give him the benefit of the doubt. It's not what you think. She doesn't agree to anything before she says goodbye and ends the call.

In the time it takes her to walk to the front door of her flat, she realizes she's too tired to manifest the anger she had worked so hard on the night before. And that's how she looks when she opens the door to him - tired, emotionally vacant, resigned.
consulting_freak: (Geographic Profiling)

[personal profile] consulting_freak 2017-02-06 04:36 am (UTC)(link)
Sherlock clasps his hands together behind his back while he waits, tapping fingers against knuckles. Ten seconds tick by, then fifteen, twenty, thirty. He's just starting to reach up to press the buzzer a second time when he hears the lock and latch. He drops his hand which adds a visual component to how awkward and uncomfortable he is.

"Molly," he says her name like a greeting. She looks worse than he'd expected and it lets some of the wind out of his sails. All of the pre-written words tumble out of order and into something unrecognisable in his mind.

"You look," he pauses, searching for something to say that doesn't sound insulting. In the end, the only thing he can do is lie, "Uhm... well." It sounds weak and the smile he gives her is weaker still. In theory, an apology sounds so easy. Preparing his words in advance had been an idea he'd taken from John, but improvising is more his nature. "I'm sorry, is this a bad time?"

It's not that he doesn't care for Molly - he wouldn't be here now if he didn't - but he's only just starting to accept the side of himself that acknowledges those feelings. Expressing them may never come naturally. And he's afraid that whatever love Molly needs from him isn't the sort he's able to give her.
theonewhocounted: (Neck)

[personal profile] theonewhocounted 2017-02-06 04:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Molly doesn't answer his question. Instead she takes in his own appearance. It doesn't look like he's had a great couple of days either. There are dark circles under haunted eyes and she almost feels bad for him. Almost. She can't quite get there today. She feels like she's always making excuses for him, for the way he treats her. It can't continue like that. It's not good for her.

"John says you have something to explain to me," she says plainly and with no emotion. "You have 5 minutes."

She doesn't step aside to let him in her flat. If he doesn't want her neighbors hearing this great explanation of his, he'll have to ask to come in.
consulting_freak: (Antibodies)

[personal profile] consulting_freak 2017-02-07 02:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Years ago when they'd first met, Sherlock would have preferred this cool indifference from Molly. He would have commended her for shunting away bothersome things like personal feelings to make way for more efficient communication. Now? It's disconcerting. Molly had always worn her emotions on her sleeve for anyone to see. But now he's somehow managed to damage her through that vulnerability badly enough for her to tuck them away for safe keeping. The observation does nothing to slow the rising guilt.

"Yes, but I may need longer," he ventures and waits for her to invite him in.

Five seconds go by before he realises that it's not going to happen. He clears his throat and shifts awkwardly. Mycroft would be very unhappy if he were to spill the details about Eurus in such a public place and while he doesn't usually care about his brother's happiness, he's feeling more charitable to him after the last twenty-four hours.

"It's a bit personal. If you wouldn't mind, I'd rather talk about it inside."
theonewhocounted: (Default)

[personal profile] theonewhocounted 2017-02-08 06:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Molly hesitates, almost says something and then nods before she steps aside, swinging her door open wider for him to come in. Once he's in, she closes and locks the door behind him before stepping around him to walk further into her flat. She doesn't offer him a seat or tea though, just turns around and waits for him to talk.

He's probably used to her filling the space with rambling or too much information or bad jokes. Her silence is probably the best defense she has against him.

consulting_freak: (Restriction Fragment Length Polumorphism)

[personal profile] consulting_freak 2017-02-13 03:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Sherlock isn't accustomed to feeling so awkward. He's spent a good amount of time building up thick skin against other people's reactions when he ignores doing things the socially acceptable way. Coming face to face with Molly - a known individual and someone he'd call a true friend - acting so uncharacteristically aloof simply furthers his discomfort of the situation.

"Thank you," he says, bringing his voice up at the last syllable like he's asking a question.

There's no need for tea or sitting, so he might as well get started. "What I did to you is unforgivable. I'm not expecting you to accept my apology, but I'm asking you to listen to me so that you might understand why I did what I did. You said I only have five minutes to explain myself, but that won't allow me to give you the whole of it. Just know that at the time, I was certain your life was in danger and the only way I could stop your demise was to coax you to utter those three words to me during that phone call. Later it transpired that your life was not, in fact, in danger, but by then I was unable to contact you for an immediate apology and explanation. Now, if you'd like me to explain all that led up to that phone call and the details surrounding it, I will be glad to."
theonewhocounted: (Sees you)

[personal profile] theonewhocounted 2017-02-13 06:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Molly listens to his explanation, or the precursor to it, and wonders how she's once again become a pawn in a game involving Sherlock. All his friends seem to have continuous targets on their backs. It's always seemed worth it to be in his inner circle, to enjoy the friends and connections she's made with their weird little group, as well as the interesting cases and the draw that is Sherlock's brilliant mind. But now with Mary and the drugs and this, it's hard not to question if the benefits still outweigh the price of admission.

"Alright," she says when he's done. "I suppose I can extend the five minutes, if you've really done it to save my life."

It doesn't change the terrible feeling in her stomach and the awkwardness that she's bared her soul to him and whoever else was a participant in the game.

She turns and goes to curl up in her favourite chair, pulling the throw around herself for its warmth and comfort she needs right now.

"Have a seat if you'd like."
consulting_freak: (Y-Incision)

[personal profile] consulting_freak 2017-02-14 03:20 am (UTC)(link)
If Molly asked him if he thought it was worth it to be his friend, he'd kindly advise her that it isn't and she should save herself the heartache and danger by distancing herself from him. If she asked him whether he wanted her to do that, the answer would be different. Sherlock's always been on the selfish side and with this, it's no different.

"It's come to my attention that Jim Moriarty wasn't working alone in his vendetta against me," Sherlock opens, walking to the chair opposite her. When he gets there, he sees that Toby is curled up on it already. He considers picking him up and depositing him on the floor but that's one of the things that would normally irritate Molly, so he leaves the chair to Toby and fetches a less comfortable kitchen chair instead.

"I ask you to bear with me for the next part as it's hard to believe. In fact, if I hadn't experienced it personally, I wouldn't believe it, either. Unbeknownst to me throughout my late adolescence and adulthood, I had a younger sister called Eurus. Still have, actually. She was always... different. She had an incredible mind, but her ability to understand anything to do with the human heart makes me look like - I really ought to have had a metaphor ready, but I'm having trouble thinking of a caring and gentle enough person to drive the point home."
theonewhocounted: (Ew)

[personal profile] theonewhocounted 2017-02-14 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
That name. It won't leave her alone. Jim. Bloody Jim. Of course he'd have something to do with it. She goes to ask if he's somehow still alive, but Sherlock continues and she guesses he'll let her know if he is. It would be like him to dangle her feelings in front of the world in order to extort Sherlock.

Molly's eyebrows raise at the next bit of information he decides to divulge. A sister. Another Holmes. It is hard to believe. Not so hard to believe that she would be different or have trouble with emotions. But for her to seem different even to Sherlock, she must be on a whole other level.

"....me?" Molly provides the ending of the metaphor he's searching for. Seems appropriate.
consulting_freak: (Dental Stone)

[personal profile] consulting_freak 2017-02-16 02:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Sherlock considers, then he nods his head. "Yes, that works well. Quite well, actually, as it also demonstrates the considerable difference between us when it comes to inte--," he catches himself and immediately backtracks, "What I mean to say is reason. Cold, logical reason."

If it's any consolation, he'd been insulting both Molly's and his own relative intellect with the comparison.

"She's exactly what Moriarty wanted me to become. They had the opportunity to meet five years ago and I suspect they devised the plan that led me to 'suicide' during the encounter."
theonewhocounted: (Sees you)

[personal profile] theonewhocounted 2017-02-16 03:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Molly's eyebrow raises as he almost derails his whole apology by insulting her, but decides to cut him some slack as he catches himself. It's more than has been done to spare her in the past.

"So she's a machine, is what you're saying and she was set on what? Destroying you? Destroying your friends?" she asks. "For what...fun?"

Molly doesn't really understand people who do terrible things, especially to those they're supposed to love. She does understand brain chemistry though and that some people's brains don't work how they should. She's never quite believed that's entirely the case for Sherlock. She knows his mind is incredible and that he doesn't think like everyone else, but she also thinks he's worked rather hard to remove sentiment from his life. If he were really the sociopath he's claimed to be in the past (and the one it sounds like his sister actually is), Moriarty wouldn't have had to try very hard to get him to his side.

He also wouldn't be here right now trying to explain and apologize for hurting her again.
consulting_freak: (Decomposition)

[personal profile] consulting_freak 2017-02-16 04:34 pm (UTC)(link)
"She's as close to a machine as a person can be. One devoid of an ethical programming without the capability of anything resembling remorse or empathy," he says, careful to avoid thinking about it too deeply. He's still shaken by what had happened over the last two days and he doesn't feel like confronting it in front of Molly. Not now, anyway.

"As for her motivation, it's complicated and partially speculated on my part. When we were children, I upset her by befriending a boy who lived nearby. Out of the three of us, I was the first to branch out of the family circle for companionship. Inviting this outsider into my life meant I was excluding her from the fun she'd come to expect. Her way of making me see that was by creating a riddle and forcing me to solve it. 'I that am lost, oh who will find me? Deep down below the old beech tree? Help succor me now, the east winds blow. Sixteen by six, brother, and under we go.'

"She thought putting a time limit on it was a good way to draw my attention, so she... uhm, she took Victor - my friend - and put him in danger. We searched for him all night, digging under every tree and rock, but he was nowhere to be found. Until yesterday night when I finally solved her puzzle."

So much for not thinking about it too much.
theonewhocounted: (upset)

[personal profile] theonewhocounted 2017-02-17 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
Sherlock looks haunted as he speaks about his sister, and for the first time since he got there, she feels badly for him. Clearly he has been through a trying and emotional ordeal that she was only a piece of. And as he talks about his childhood, about his sister taking his first friend away from him for some game, a feeling of dread starts to bloom. She wonders what makes a child forget entirely that he's got a sister. The answer is, of course, severe trauma. Some sort of awful incident that erases a whole part of a life from the mind. The pieces click into place.

"She killed him," she says, there is horror in her voice but no question. Clearly that's what he's getting it. "Oh my god, Sherlock."

No wonder he'd blocked his sister out. No wonder he'd blocked the world out at the same time. Molly is no psychologist but you don't have to be one to see how Sherlock's young mind would associate friendship and caring with...death and weakness, even without remembering why.

Molly has gone from looking angry to looking horrified and worried and sympathetic. Whatever she'd been put through by this sister of his, clearly wasn't much in comparison to what she'd put her own brother through.
consulting_freak: (Geographic Profiling)

[personal profile] consulting_freak 2017-02-17 09:45 pm (UTC)(link)
"She did. And she tried to do it again," Sherlock says, leaving Molly to come to her own conclusion about who the intended victim had been during the second time round. "Fortunately, I managed to decode her riddle. And do you know what she wanted the whole time?"

It's easier moving on with the account of his sister than to dwell on Victor and his past, so that's what he does. Molly doesn't need to know about the gauntlet he and Mycroft and John were forced through. She's already sympathising with him more than he feels he deserves. " 'I am lost. Help me, brother. Save my life before my doom. I am lost without your love. Save my soul, seek my room'," he recites. "The whole time since we were children, all she wanted was for me to accept her for how she was and tether her to the ground."

Why she couldn't be forthright with that instead of playing a twisted game is beyond anyone's guess. It's just what makes Eurus Eurus.

"It's not fair that she used you in part of her game, but there's no denying that if you weren't close to me then it wouldn't have happened."
theonewhocounted: (Sees you)

[personal profile] theonewhocounted 2017-02-18 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
John, Molly thinks and worries about him immediately even though she knows that if Sherlock is here then John is alright. Or at least he's not dead. She doubts he's alright, not after all that's happened recently.

She shakes her head at Sherlock's rhetorical question about what his sister wanted. She knows he's not expecting her to come up with an answer. Molly wouldn't know where to start anyway.

"She sounds...terribly desperate for something she doesn't understand," Molly says, feeling sad for her even though it's clear she's done some terrible things and maybe doesn't deserve anyone's sympathy. Molly can't help it though. Her weakness is her ability to empathize, to feel other's pain, and to understand who they are because of it. Or maybe that's her strength. Sometimes it's hard for her to tell. It sometimes feels like a curse to feel so much. Like right now, when part of her just wants to separate herself from the whole bloody Holmes clan, and the other part is in love with him still.

"People do seem to like to use your friends against you."
consulting_freak: (Orthotolidine)

[personal profile] consulting_freak 2017-02-19 07:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Desperate. Sherlock had been dancing around that word for a long time, but now that Molly's put a name to it, he agrees with it. His sister was desperate to understand the emotional because it was the one thing she couldn't quantify. And in some ways, she did have some fairly deep emotional connections she just couldn't understand. Why else would she have needed him to love her?

"I've noticed the trend," he sighs, clasping his hands together and setting them on his lap. "Since it evidently works well, any enemy I come across in the future with the inclination of doing their research before acting will likely use similar methods to distract me from my ability to remain objective. That means the cost of being my friend should be considered before I leave here today. There will be danger. I'll do everything in my power to keep you safe, but I can't be everywhere at once. You could get hurt or worse."

He doesn't want to lose Molly as a friend. It's not just her reliability and having a connection to Bart's morgue. He cares about her and she's someone he can trust with certain things that he couldn't trust anyone else with. "If you want me to leave and never contact you again, I will."
theonewhocounted: (sad)

[personal profile] theonewhocounted 2017-02-19 08:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Molly told herself that she was done crying over this man, she was done being an experiment, being made a fool of, but she can't help the tears that spring to her eyes now.

She looks away from him.

"You make that sound easy," she says, voice thick. She thinks about cutting ties but she knows it would kill her to lose the weird little family she has with them. Molly has hardly any family of her own left and if she loses Sherlock she also loses, John and Rosie and Mrs. Hudson. The thought of it causes her physical pain. And then there would be the pain of losing Sherlock. Even if he can never love her the way she loves him, she still cherishes their friendship. It's a relationship that's been hard won and she always thought worth it.
Edited 2017-02-19 20:12 (UTC)
consulting_freak: (Arches)

[personal profile] consulting_freak 2017-02-19 10:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Sherlock's been seeing a lot of his friends cry over the last two years and he doesn't think it's something he'll ever be used to, let alone comfortable with. When it comes to giving comfort, he's as ill equipped to deal with it as he is at accepting it. But he's got the urge to try anyway.

"It's never easy," he admits, scooting to the edge of his chair, "Which is why I need you to be absolutely sure of your decision. I'll respect it, no matter what it is. I promise."

He can just reach her from this new position. He places his hand on one of hers and squeezes it lightly.
theonewhocounted: (sad)

[personal profile] theonewhocounted 2017-02-19 10:41 pm (UTC)(link)
When his hand covers hers, it's startling and nice and she can't ever remember Sherlock trying to be comforting and being so sincere about it. The surprise of it forces a sob from her and she immediately closes her eyes and bites her lip to keep the rest in. Two tears fall down her cheeks.

She almost wishes he were being a careless prat so that she could be angry instead of feeling this. It's understandable why Sherlock would bottle up his emotions for so many years. They can be devastating. Sometimes what she wouldn't give to not care.

"I can't..." she starts but her voice cracks and she shakes her head. She can't cut him out of her life. If she did, she would have to move away and start over. He is everywhere here.

And she once again feels like she's baring another part of herself to him. She might as well be telling him she loves him all over again because what else does it mean to say that you'd rather risk putting yourself in the crosshairs than letting someone go from her life? Letting all of them go.
consulting_freak: (Zone Search)

[personal profile] consulting_freak 2017-02-20 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
When someone comforts another, shouldn't the crying stop? At once, Sherlock thinks he's doing something wrong. He murmurs that he's sorry, then he pats her hand a couple times, and finally sits up straight again. It's only when he hears her words that he starts to think that maybe it's the situation causing her to cry harder and not something he's done.

"You don't have to make a decision right away. I know I said I needed to know before I leave today, but I can wait. You can think about it for as long as you want and change your mind later," he offers. Pressuring her into rushing isn't going to do either of them any good.

He stands up and walks towards her chair. The one thing that had worked to comfort John when he'd been crying this hard had been contact and he expects the same from Molly. Maybe even more so considering her not-so-secret feelings towards him. The only thing causing him hesitation is that it could be a form of manipulation if scrutinised too deeply. He doesn't want to lose her. He doesn't want to lead her on, either.

The embrace is light and loose, almost timid. It wouldn't be difficult for Molly to push him away and he'd move without resisting if she did.

"Moriarty's dead. Eurus is secured. There's no immediate danger."
theonewhocounted: (Looking down)

[personal profile] theonewhocounted 2017-02-20 05:19 am (UTC)(link)
When Sherlock moves away, Molly wipes at her eyes and tries to pull herself together as he talks.

She looks up at him when he approaches her and is surprised when he actually puts his arms around her. She lets out a long breath and drops her head to his shoulder. Her arms slip around him as a few more silent tears escape and she accepts his comfort, hopes she can offer some in return. He's hurting too.

"I'm not going anywhere," she says finally, her voice quiet but determined. They had all lost things, Sherlock and John more than anyone. She'd survived this long and she had a promise to keep to Mary. Look after the boys too, if anything should happen to me. They'll need you. At the time, Molly had agreed but sort of brushed it off, thinking nothing was going to happen to Mary. Looking back at it, she should have seen the haunted look in Mary's eyes. She'd been serious.
consulting_freak: (Cuticle)

[personal profile] consulting_freak 2017-02-21 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
Sherlock's able to hold himself together rather well all things considered. It comes with years of practice. The difference is that instead of pretending he doesn't feel, he's decided to accept it and push it to the side to address later. It's sobering to see what he'd always thought he wanted to be in action. And frightening.

He rests the side of his jaw on the top of her head. If there's a rule for how long hugs are supposed to be, he'd missed the lesson and subsequently must rely on Molly's guidance.

"If you're sure," he answers. The relief he feels knowing that for some reason Molly has decided he's worth the price of the pain he's caused her and could potentially cause her in the future leaves him feeling pleasantly stunned. "We'll need to upgrade the security of your flat. Maybe get you some self-defence training."
theonewhocounted: (Looking down)

[personal profile] theonewhocounted 2017-02-21 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
Molly is content to stay in his embrace for the moment, the feel of him resting his head on hers assures her that he is not uncomfortable about it, as she would have expected. What a different man he's become. She takes in a calming breath and all she can smell is him. It is comforting even if it makes her long for things she knows she'll never have. And she knows that he is offering this comfort as a friend and she's also not going to overstay her welcome, so to speak.

"I'm sure," she says quietly and takes in one last breath before she leans away from him. "Whatever you think is necessary."

Her hand comes up to wipe away her stray tears. She doesn't look directly at him because her emotions are raw and she feels exposed. It's bad enough that he knows that she loves him. He doesn't also need to see something like longing written across her face.

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