spideyguy: (202)

[personal profile] spideyguy 2016-09-16 05:07 pm (UTC)(link)
We found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
goblinjr: (➥ So... call me maybe?)

[personal profile] goblinjr 2016-09-16 05:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow, I must have been really drunk. And really confused. I don't even like vodka. It tastes like rubbing alcohol.

I didn't set anything on fire, did I
spideyguy: (167)

[personal profile] spideyguy 2016-09-16 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)
i think you meant alcohol in general and grabbed the first bottle at abc

only your dignity
goblinjr: (➥ No time for your bullshit.)

[personal profile] goblinjr 2016-09-17 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
That sounds more accurate. I think someone needs to start babysitting me. This shit has GOT to stop happening. [Or if he'd just stop depending on alcohol, ahem.]

I'd rather the kitchen be on fire.
spideyguy: (54)

[personal profile] spideyguy 2016-09-17 04:19 am (UTC)(link)
well if you would CALL me maybe this wouldnt happen

well im pretty sure its charred from where the scraps of said dignity fell and turned to ash
goblinjr: (➥ Are you serious right now?)

[personal profile] goblinjr 2016-09-17 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, sure. Lemme just call you while you're in the middle of stuff so you can drop everything to make sure your best friend isn't being a moron.

If I did that, you'd never get homework done and you'd have to quit your second job.

Ha ha ha, you're very funny. Want me to send you a laugh track?
spideyguy: (135)

[personal profile] spideyguy 2016-09-17 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
but thats???? what best friends???? are FOR????

like you wouldnt drop everything if i was having a problem ??


[Not that Peter would ever ask, ever, but the hypothetical still stood.]

seriously, though, what happened?
goblinjr: (➥ Are you serious right now?)

[personal profile] goblinjr 2016-09-17 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)
How many question marks was that? Is your phone having a conniption fit or something?

Yeah, but you never let anyone help you, so your point is moot.

It was just a bad day, Pete. No big deal.
spideyguy: (126)

[personal profile] spideyguy 2016-09-18 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
it serves as emphasis harry!! its called LINGUISTICS!!!!!!

well maybe i will the next time i have a problem if YOU do too

a bad day ends in you getting so drunk im worried you could have had alcohol poisoning?? who do you think you're fooling?
goblinjr: (➥ It falls away into the great escape.)

[personal profile] goblinjr 2016-09-18 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
Geez, Peter. I didn't know you were so passionate about punctuation. I'm sure your question mark and exclamation point keys feel very loved.

I'll believe it when I see it.

Oh, please. You're being dramatic.
spideyguy: (178)

[personal profile] spideyguy 2016-09-21 07:43 pm (UTC)(link)
my phone actually autocorrects to three punctuation marks now, so yeah they do

just please call me next time? id rather you do it yourself than bernard again

i am not, don't pretend i'm overreacting
goblinjr: (➥ What do you mean "incredible"?)

[personal profile] goblinjr 2016-09-22 08:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Good thing you're friends with someone that demands excessive use of punctuation, eh?

Bernard's been calling you? That guy is so dead.
[He's not dodging the subject, shut up.]

You seriously are. Do you see me in the hospital? No. Therefore, I am fine.
spideyguy: (111)

[personal profile] spideyguy 2016-09-28 06:30 pm (UTC)(link)
well its clearly your fault

he's the only thing keeping you alive, and i dont think he's easily replaced

just because you're just under the threshold for alcohol poisoning doesn't mean you're FINE
goblinjr: (➥ No wonder; you're so stubborn.)

[personal profile] goblinjr 2016-09-29 07:49 pm (UTC)(link)
A fact I'm very proud of.

What the hell's that mean? You think I can't take care of myself?

God, will you just drop it? I don't need you harping at me.
spideyguy: (106)

[personal profile] spideyguy 2016-09-30 06:39 pm (UTC)(link)
of course you would be

YOU DIDNT KNOW WHERE YOU KEPT THE BROOM HARRY ARE YOU SHITTING ME

yes you do. you'd do the same for me
goblinjr: (➥ Another journey without friends.)

[personal profile] goblinjr 2016-10-01 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
Well, yeah! How many other people can get you invested enough to use a million punctuation marks?????!!!!! [Why are you friends with him. Really. Why.

And incoming butthurt in 3, 2, 1...]
Oh, come off it! I'm sick of everyone treating me like I'm helpless or incompetent or something!

Yeah, except I have good reason to. You're just nitpicking.
spideyguy: (129)

[personal profile] spideyguy 2016-10-01 05:54 am (UTC)(link)
if it makes you feel special
S U R E
!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!


[Peter honestly couldn't tell you. It's a mystery.]

i never said you were helpless or incompetent
but let's not pretend you would remember basic household chores if bernard weren't around

hell, harry, you and may are the reason i remember to eat. i'll admit it. chill fam

and you're being a butt. guess we're even.
goblinjr: (➥ You're fired. Go away.)

[personal profile] goblinjr 2016-10-01 04:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Excuse me, I AM special.
Oh wait, I almost forgot punctuation
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


[Harry almost brings up his dad -- 'Have you forgotten how much of a dictator my dad was? With the constant inspections and everything? And Bernard never being allowed in my room so my dad could enforce making me pick up after myself??' -- before thinking better of it and deleting the message.]

You'd be surprised, Peter. Besides. Between the two of us, I think we know who the bigger slob is.

Wow, that's one for the books. Peter Parker admitting he needs help? I might die of shock.

YOU'RE being a butt.
spideyguy: (145)

[personal profile] spideyguy 2016-10-13 01:50 pm (UTC)(link)
special in the head, maybe

[Maybe Peter has forgotten. Maybe he's pushed all of those memories out of his head because they just hurt too much to remember. It's something he does now.]

you are a neat freak, i'll give you that but i'm not exactly a SLOB harry. i know where everything is!

hold up, i never said i NEEDED to eat.

your FACE is a butt


[Your Momma jokes have never sat well with either of them.]
goblinjr: (Default)

[personal profile] goblinjr 2016-10-14 03:05 am (UTC)(link)
Wow, you're so rude.

[And Harry doesn't like to push it, especially when he spends half his time running from the tough subjects, too.]

How? Every time I visit, your room looks like it was hitching a ride to Oz.

Everybody needs to eat, you weirdo! God. Sometimes I just wanna smack you.

THAT'S ANATOMICALLY IMPOSSIBLE, PETER.
See how annoying that is?
[He is being unbelieeevably petty right now. Sorry, Peter.]
spideyguy: (178)

[personal profile] spideyguy 2016-11-25 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
just because you can't think of a comeback doesn't mean you should demean yourself to calling me names

you always show up when im in the ~middle~ of something, how is that my fault?

I can run on bare minimum, it's actually a skill i pride myself on, tyvm

HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT TO BET
HOW MUCH OSBORN


[Two can play at that game. See what you've unleashed.]
goblinjr: (➥ Are you serious right now?)

[personal profile] goblinjr 2016-12-02 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not calling you names, I'm stating FACT.

You're always in the middle of something! Which means it's always your fault.

Why?????? THAT'S NOT A GOOD SKILL, PETER!!

ARE YOU SERIOUS
THIS IS A BET YOU CAN'T WIN


[Amazing how they can go from Serious Talk to bickering about the stupidest things.]
spideyguy: (164)

[personal profile] spideyguy 2016-12-10 08:49 am (UTC)(link)
i want a bibliography, you smarmy prick

how do you think i survived high school???? how do you think i'm going to survive college????
i'll tell you: STRATEGIC NAPPING

HUMAN
CENTIPEDE
goblinjr: (➥ If that means I turned on myself.)

[personal profile] goblinjr 2016-12-19 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
If I do that, you'll have an entire recap of our friendship

Maybe you should try strategic eating too

THAT'S NOT REAL, PETER
IT DOESN'T COUNT

ALSO EW I THOUGHT WE AGREED NOT TO SPEAK OF IT EVER AGAIN
Edited 2016-12-19 22:02 (UTC)
spideyguy: (129)

[personal profile] spideyguy 2017-02-11 09:29 pm (UTC)(link)
ah, but it doesn't cost me anything to nap does it

HOW DO YOU KNOW
IT'S THEORETICALLY POSSIBLE THAT'S WHY ITS SO DISGUSTING

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