allaboutmeme: (Default)
allaboutmeme ([personal profile] allaboutmeme) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet2015-10-16 07:12 pm

TIFFLEN



Go here to do the thing.
sosilly: (😖)

chris | until dawn

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-16 07:17 pm (UTC)(link)
01. thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. i appreciate you and your warm hands.
02. if there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then i'm sure you would have won it.
03. the lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
04. i'm still depressed that i forgot my ice cream at your place
05. text him!
blackwood: <user name="blackwood"> (pic#9640886)

3!

[personal profile] blackwood 2015-10-16 07:55 pm (UTC)(link)
you do give off a special kind of "cry on me" vibe
a lot of people would consider that a talent
sosilly: (😥)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-16 08:09 pm (UTC)(link)
wow. that's... just the kind of vibe i want to give off. how does that even happen? is it something to do with my face?

talent or not, it hasn't done me any favors so far.
blackwood: <user name="blackwood"> (pic#)

[personal profile] blackwood 2015-10-16 08:25 pm (UTC)(link)
time will tell, my man
chicks dig a guy they feel like they can open up to
it's gotta be the glasses. your nerdy charms are irresistible to the burdened ladies of the world
sosilly: (😪)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-16 08:38 pm (UTC)(link)
my nerdy charms need to attract girls my own age. this burdened lady only wanted to talk about her marital problems. which tbh were pretty rough, man.

i couldn't even tell her to leave me alone.
blackwood: <user name="blackwood"> (pic#9640873)

[personal profile] blackwood 2015-10-16 08:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[ damn, chris. cougar town all up in here... ]

haha, priceless
scoring major points with the middle-aged housewife demographic already, that is a dangerous gift
hey, maybe next time it'll be a hot babe, you never know
at least you'll never have to worry about shitty listener karma coming back around to bite you in the ass
that's gotta count for something, right?


[ totally. ]
sosilly: (😌)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-16 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[ totally unintentional! ]

please don't tell people i'm into middle-aged housewives. that's not really a reputation i want. besides, she didn't ask me to sleep with her. i think she considered me more of a... teddy bear. what with the uh petting.

nah, my ass is safe.

from karma, at least.

maybe not from old women.
blackwood: <user name="blackwood"> (pic#9640861)

[personal profile] blackwood 2015-10-16 09:55 pm (UTC)(link)
don't worry bro, your reputation is in good hands

[ he'll help you overcome your virgin status yet. eventually. ]

& i mean she's not wrong, but actual petting is pretty next level
i would've paid good money to see that go down
sosilly: (😖)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-16 10:03 pm (UTC)(link)
i'm trusting you.

[ some day. some possibly far off day. ]

dude, i'm not a teddy bear. i'm strapping. and i don't think hair-petting counts, does it?

also, you'd pay to watch your best friend and a woman older than your mom get down? you have turn-ons i've never heard of.
blackwood: <user name="blackwood"> (pic#9640867)

[personal profile] blackwood 2015-10-16 10:21 pm (UTC)(link)
"strapping" haha good one

[ and dear god that's an image he could do without, why'd you have to mention his mom ]

hey man, i said "petting" not "heavy petting"
someone else is gonna have to be a pioneer in that field
sosilly: (😳)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-16 10:44 pm (UTC)(link)
a guy can dream.

[ yeah, maybe that was uncalled for. but josh's reaction might have been worth it. ]

and sorry, i'm a little shaky on my foreplay terms. i need to do some serious research.

so best friend/mom petting is okay, just not the serious stuff?

[ okay, his reaction was definitely worth it. the teasing continues. what are friends for? ]
blackwood: <user name="blackwood"> (pic#9640890)

[personal profile] blackwood 2015-10-16 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[ f is for friends who talk about pseudo-foreplay together???

how has chris flipped the tables so deftly. and here josh thought he was the master teaser.
]

you're killing me smalls
we gotta get you educated
allow me, your pal and mentor, to enlighten you:
best friend/pretty much anyone but my mom
sosilly: (😊)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-16 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)
[ granted, they don't have the most normal of friendships.

and josh has definitely rubbed off on him; he's got no one to blame but himself for encouraging chris' tormenting skills.
]

thanks for sharing your unparalleled wisdom.

and with respect to my pal and mentor, i'll cut the mom jokes. and stick to the 'pretty much anyone else' demographic.
blackwood: <user name="blackwood"> (pic#9640858)

[personal profile] blackwood 2015-10-16 11:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[ it's true. he's so proud. you know, tangentially. ]

it is pretty unparalleled, huh?
& there's a whole lot of fishes in that sea, my friend
you just gotta hone your fishing skills and you're home free
free to make out with a fish


[ named ashley ]
sosilly: (😨)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-16 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
[ as he should be. ]

absolutely unparalleled. but don't go fishing for compliments, josh. [ yes, he is that embarrassing. this is why he shouldn't be allowed out in public. ]

seriously, though, i think my fishing rod is broken or something.

and no that was not supposed to sound like a dick joke oh my god


[ a-ashley? ehem. w-what kind of a name is that for a fish? ]
blackwood: <user name="blackwood"> (pic#9640886)

[personal profile] blackwood 2015-10-17 12:11 am (UTC)(link)
[ it is the name of a small ginger fish native to the waters of libraria just off the coast of study buddy central. a rare aquatic find, this hipster hottie is frequently seen wearing cute hats.

this time, chris' texts earn a solid snort of laughter from josh—not that chris can hear it. chris might be embarrassing, but josh is the kind of guy who still laughs at his jokes, and that's almost worse.
]

haha dude
definitely still sounded like a dick joke, bud
you better get that rod checked out before it messes up your game for good
sosilly: (😥)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-17 12:30 am (UTC)(link)
[ sounds like an astounding breed. sadly, the blue-eyed fishtopher is prone to failed mating rituals and clumsily avoiding its feelings, and has a tendency to turn back half way through its migration to dating island.

josh's enthusiasm for chris' dad jokes is one of the reasons they get along so well. only true friends laugh at those things.
]

sheesh. i'm too hilarious for my own good.

and on second thought, my rod is fine. that's another rumor i don't want started.
blackwood: <user name="blackwood"> (pic#9640925)

[personal profile] blackwood 2015-10-17 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
[ fishtopher needs to grow some gills and get with the picture. josh would help with that, but he's not someone who should be consulted on literally anything related to real actual romance whatsoever. ]

uh-huh
you sure about that?
not like you're using it, right?
could have fallen off while you were too busy not getting laid


[ needling his bestie over his dick: just guys being dudes ]
sosilly: (😌)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-17 01:10 am (UTC)(link)
[ maybe they both need to take a crash course on romance. could be some good bro-bonding time. ]

bro, i still like... pee and stuff.

it's not gone, trust me.
[ and he could totally make a crack about hitting below the belt but he'll hold off this time. ]

and what about you? have i somehow missed you getting all kinds of action?

[ what's better than this? ]

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baths: (ᴛʜᴇ ᴀᴛᴛɪᴄ ɪɴ ᴄʜᴇᴍɪᴄᴀʟs)

1!

[personal profile] baths 2015-10-17 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
ok, i get that you're the ha ha funny guy but i can't actually tell if this really happened or not

[ she'd definitely remember taking her momfriend status to a whole new, weird level... right? ]
sosilly: (😳)

thank you so much for choosing 1

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-17 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
you know how i am with the cold. and you also know how strong your maternal instincts are.

what do you think?


[ there was definitely an incident with accidental butt-touching which did reveal sam to be the owner of very warm hands, but nothing that comes close to the situation chris is describing actually happened.

but it'd be a crime for sam to know that from the get-go.
]
baths: (ɪ ᴄʀɪᴇᴅ ᴛɪʟʟ ᴍʏ ʙᴏᴅʏ ᴀᴄʜᴇ)

it was my absolute honor

[personal profile] baths 2015-10-17 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
i think "maternal butt holding" sounds wrong in just about every sense
PLEASE tell me you aren't going around telling people i put my hands down your pants


[ a true friend.

besides, she just has good circulation! maybe if he'd take up her offer to buddy up at the gym sometime he could get there, too. ]
sosilly: (😌)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-17 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
okay, maybe maternal wasn't the best word. but you know what i mean.

and no, i haven't spread any rumors about your hands down my pants. your hands were never DOWN my pants.


[ which implies they were at least in some vicinity of his pants. he's the truest of friends.

chris in a gym is an unlikely occurrence, though, whatever level of friendship they're at.
]
baths: (ɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʀᴇ ᴘʟᴀᴄɪɴɢ ɪᴛ)

[personal profile] baths 2015-10-17 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
ah-hah, one step closer to the truth!
alright, so i was either pretty drunk or not paying attention when this happened
IF this really happened


[ she's still not completely convinced, but he's definitely got her hooked now.

and that's fair, seeing as sam is just as unlikely to ever stop inviting him. it might happen one day, you never know! ]
sosilly: (😅)

she's so cute ;u;

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-17 10:48 pm (UTC)(link)
you're a regular nancy drew, samantha.

and yeah, you were definitely out of it. but the million dollar question remains: did you CHOOSE to touch my butt or did i ASK?


[ he's exceptionally glad she's playing along.

he appreciates the sentiment, at least. he has to try harder to convince her that wii sports is totally a legitimate form of exercise, though.
]