sosilly: (😥)

chris / until dawn

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-02 06:33 pm (UTC)(link)
01. whats a little naked between friends. just don't laugh or i'll be scarred for life.
02. i feel like i've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. you're hopeless.
03. she says the reason i don't talk to her is because i'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means.
04. last night was incredible. i can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket.
text him!
criticized: (pic#)


[personal profile] criticized 2015-10-03 12:21 am (UTC)(link)

i don't think we've reached that level in our friendship

do you really expect ME not to laugh really chris
sosilly: (😥)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-03 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
[ Should be pretend he didn't just send that? ...Nah. Power through. ]

but that's the beauty! we're not super close, so it won't get weird. yeah?

[ Does that make any sense? He's dangerously overtired. ]
criticized: (pic#)

[personal profile] criticized 2015-10-03 01:51 am (UTC)(link)
[ What's done is done, Chris. Storing away this conversation into the 'never forgetting this happened' corner of her mind immediately. ]

so if a stranger wanted to get you naked you'd be completely fine with it, nothing weird there at all

[ The sarcasm is incredibly strong, so much so that she expects he'll sense it through the phone, but she immediately switches strategies in an effort to embarrass him further — if Chris even can be embarrassed. Sometimes she doubts as much. ]

if this is some kind of plan to get me naked you could have just said so
sosilly: (😨)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-03 02:08 am (UTC)(link)
[ That's what he was afraid of. But, hey, it's his own fault. He set himself up for an awkward, embarrassing conversation. This is Jess of all people. ]

what no. no. see we're in the perfect middle ground. not complete strangers but not best friends.

[ This made perfect sense twenty seconds ago, he swears. She's doing a pretty good job of making him uncomfortable, despite his usual skill at shrugging off humiliation; humour is, devastatingly, failing him this time around. Again, he blames the hour and the weird place his head's in. ]

no plan. there's a completely innocent reason behind all this.

but uh hey, if you're... offering?
criticized: (pic#)

[personal profile] criticized 2015-10-03 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
[ Hook, line, sinker. It likely says something about her that she enjoys eliciting unease in her friends, especially those with a habit of brushing it aside and maintaining their composure. ]

uh yeah maybe if there's booze involved in this hypothetical

[ Which has seemed to lead them into more trouble than it's been worth, but that doesn't mean she's too emotionally damaged to have fun — especially now. While he can't hear it, she does manage to laugh. ]

an "innocent" reason uh huh sure

just like i'm sure you can't handle this
sosilly: (😖)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-03 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
i could get booze.

[ That's a bit of a knee-jerk reaction. When he actually thinks about the - admittedly slim - possibility of doing anything remotely sexual with Jess, he feels a wave of impending guilt. If Ash ever found out, she'd probably kill him. Josh might help. Anyway, time to attempt to rescue this disaster of a conversation. ]

alright alright, no need to get into the topic of who could or could not handle who. [ That would be a losing battle on his part, he's confident. His eternal virgin status doesn't help his chances. ]

anyway, my... situation doesn't actually involve mutual nakedness. which brings me back to the topic of not laughing.
Edited 2015-10-03 03:15 (UTC)
criticized: (pic#)

[personal profile] criticized 2015-10-03 03:27 am (UTC)(link)
[ Truthfully, it's tempting to inform him Mike would likely pummel his face and wear his blood like war paint; as it stands, she isn't nearly so cruel as to invoke that particular fear of God in Chris, regardless of how far she might intend to take a joke. ]

b/c you know you'll lose

[ But she's still laughing, amused regardless. ]

do you have a rash in a weird place or something

i'm def going to need booze to deal with that
sosilly: (😌)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-03 03:38 am (UTC)(link)
yeah, i'll lose. there's no dancing around that elephant.

[ He just thought he'd at least try to get through this with a shred of his pride still recognizable, but it looks like that pathetic ship has sailed. Duly noted. Begrudgingly moving on. ]

first things first, you shouldn't just assume things, jess. and it's not a rash. i think it's just a bruise.

[ Which is less weird, right? The way he received the bruise was definitely weird, but they don't have to go there. They've already stepped over some lines that were probably there for a reason. Chris is never gonna live this down and he knows it. ]

so you wanna help a dude out or am i a massive idiot for even asking?
criticized: (pic#)

[personal profile] criticized 2015-10-03 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
at least you admit it, step in the right direction chris

[ There's something to be said for that sense of realism, maybe. But Jess cares little for destroying a man's pride in the process. ]

what would you assume if i told you i need you to look at me naked???

[ On the other hand, she isn't entirely sure she wants to know the answer. ]

depends on where the bruise is

also i'm gonna need the story behind this as payment for being a good friend
sosilly: (😪)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-03 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
it's a consolation prize, at least.

[ He'll consider that for a sec 'cause honestly, he has no idea. He probably wouldn't complain, at the very least. But still, it'd be weird. He'd be showing that text to Josh. ]

i don't know. try not to jump to conclusions?

[ And there it is. Shit. Jess is both annoyingly attractive and quick-thinking. The universe is cruel sometimes. Especially now. ]

okay, it's not on my junk. full frontal nudity is a no-go.

and that seems fair. really wish it didn't, but...
criticized: (pic#)

[personal profile] criticized 2015-10-03 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
ok sure i'll kept that in mind when i start getting bruises in weird places.

[ Which is to say 'likely never' in her own words, but not unkindly. It should be expected she would gain a good laugh from the situation at hand, even if he's asking for a lack of her brand of teasing. ]

if it lasts for more than 4 hrs consult your doctor, chris.

[ But bad jokes aside: ]

c'mon, don't keep me waiting. you can't NOT tell me now.
sosilly: (😔)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-03 08:20 pm (UTC)(link)
come straight to me for a judge-free zone.

and thanks for that little tidbit. some good advice right there.

[ She can probably picture the deadpan expression on his face as he looks at his phone. It's a worthy joke, he'll admit, but this whole exchange is going less than perfect. In hindsight, he doesn't know why he imagined it would go any better. And now for the story. God. ]

for the record, this was totally josh's fault. but okay.

y'know those street lamps with the concrete bases? well good ol joshua thought it would be a hilarious idea to dare me to... try out pole dancing? and me, being the man i am, could not shy away from a challenge. but it was slippery. and it didn't go well.

and that concrete base wasn't the best place to crash land. especially with my legs wrapped around the pole.


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justjoshingya: (cause this is thriller)


[personal profile] justjoshingya 2015-10-03 03:15 am (UTC)(link)
ok but do you remember a fuckin thing
sosilly: (😳)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-03 03:22 am (UTC)(link)
i remember cheese, josh.

tell me if i'm missing something vital.

[ Which roughly translates to: tell him he didn't majorly fuck up somehow. ]
justjoshingya: (thriller night)

[personal profile] justjoshingya 2015-10-03 03:33 am (UTC)(link)
your jacket probably isnt the only victim here

lets just say the idea was to fill a bathtub with it
not my idea ftr
sosilly: (😖)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-03 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
huh. that's... creative.

wait wait wait, does this mean i might have cheese in unmentionable places 'cause. fuck.
justjoshingya: (as horror looks you)

[personal profile] justjoshingya 2015-10-03 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
bro youre REALLY asking the wrong guy here
i was out on a quest for more cheese

got kinda sidetracked
sosilly: (😥)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-03 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
right. actually now that i think about it, i kinda hope no one knows the answer to that question. seems like more of a... personal problem.

[ He's gonna have to do some investigating... ]

so, you got sidetracked by cheese or something else in the process?
justjoshingya: (you start to freeze)

[personal profile] justjoshingya 2015-10-03 04:12 am (UTC)(link)
woke up on someone's lawn a few streets away
hands black with soot and no idea where one of my shoes went
so i'm guessing probably something else
sosilly: (😨)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-03 02:10 pm (UTC)(link)
something else sounds probable.

did you find your shoe?
justjoshingya: (cause this is thriller)

[personal profile] justjoshingya 2015-10-03 05:25 pm (UTC)(link)
might just call it a casualty
sosilly: (😊)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-03 08:10 pm (UTC)(link)
i'm sure it died a warrior's death.

[ Josh has got the cash to buy a new pair of shoes at least. ]

so any idea who might have witnessed the cheese situation?

[ No, he's definitely not asking about Ash specifically, nope, never. ]
justjoshingya: (and something evil's lurking)

[personal profile] justjoshingya 2015-10-04 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
[ ... of course not. wingman senses tingling for no reason whatsoever, here. ]

well ash got outta there way before that
in case that's what youre wondering

[ subtle as a falling boulder. ]
sosilly: (😌)

[personal profile] sosilly 2015-10-04 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
[ Well, at least he knows what Chris needs to hear. Subtlety be damned; being in sync has its perks. But that doesn't mean that Chris has to admit to the truth. ]

nah, just... asking. you know, to ask. the fewer people that saw what i can only assume was a cheesy fiasco the better.

unless it was incredibly epic. which i'm betting it probably was by our standards.

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