filthydirtysock ([personal profile] filthydirtysock) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet2015-03-12 12:24 am

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The Drunk Meme


1. Drinking Games. You're at that special level of drunkenness where previously unimagined things start to sound like a good idea, like another drink. It's cool, I know this great game that will inevitably end with everyone involved being totally wasted. You play until... shit, what were the rules again?

2. Unsolicited Advice. Oh man, you suddenly know the solutions to all of life's mysteries. All it took to figure it all out was half a pint of whiskey! It's time to tell all your friends how to fix the problems with their personal lives, whether they want you to or not.

3. Drunk Texting. Frankly, you can't IMAGINE why anyone wouldn't want to hear about how drunk you are right now. If only you could remember where the vowels are on this tiny keyboard. Drawing inspiration from TFLN is encouraged.

4. Tell them How You Really Feel. You lost some of your less important inhibitions three or four drinks ago, and it's time to tell it how it is! Time to hunt down the person you love, or possibly the person you hate, or even just the person you don't ACTUALLY despise, and bare your heart to them in a way that you'll almost definitely regret tomorrow morning.

5. Karaoke. Shot through the heart, and you're to blame! You give love... a bad... something...

6. Terrible Ideas. This is going to be so awesome, guys. I've got the skateboard, and I'm handcuffed to Steve... is the camera rolling? And who's lighting the fireworks?

7. Flirting. While all that booze may not have enhanced your charm, it certainly did wonders for your ego! Time to find all the hottest dudes and/or chicks in this place and make them swoon before your gin-powered charisma.

8. On the Streets. What better way to follow up a good bar run than by drunkenly wandering the streets in the middle of the night? There may be loud, embarrassing singing. There may be puking in the gutter. You may be completely lost, and not sure why that police officer is speaking Italian.

9. Take Me Home Tonight. Yeah, it's time to go home but you're not going alone, time to drag someone home for a hook up. Let's just hope you can get your body to agree or don't fall asleep first

10. The Next Day. All that you took with you from last night's adventures was a blur of jumbled, confusing memories, a lampshade with googly eyes drawn on it taped to your head, and a brutal hangover. What exactly happened here? And who's that sleeping next to you?


reposted from here.
findpeace: (ʜᴇʜᴇ ≡ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ғɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴀʏ)

Naruto Uzumaki | Naruto | Open

[personal profile] findpeace 2015-03-12 02:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[Who ever thought it was a good idea to give him booze? It doesn't matter if he saved the world.]
fanningtheflames: (wtf are you on about)

[personal profile] fanningtheflames 2015-03-12 06:10 pm (UTC)(link)
[Sasuke would agree with this sentiment. The idea of trusting in Naruto's sense for moderation spoke of either ignorance or thoughtlessness of epic proportions. Or, you know, Sasuke would have thought something along those lines had he not been face down on the table, groping blindly for his glass with one hand, and pulling in Naruto's sleeve with the other.]

But, like, how's she still not givin' up? Like, I mean... Like, it's been years, right? Years of nothing.

[Aftermath of a New Year's party, orphans with nowhere better to celebrate than together with teammates, Kakashi being a giant, flakey flake and leaving them alone in a room full of booze to go to bed. Not that it was Kakashi who had been pouring the alcohol down Sasuke's throat for the past hour and a half. Nope, that was definitely self-inflicted.

Sasuke snaps his head up from the table and glares at Naruto indignantly.]


Idiot, you had 'er all on your own for, like, forever, an' you shtill haven't hit that? Didn' you wanna? I know you wanna'd. ...Wanted, I mean, whatever.
findpeace: (ᴇʀʀ ≡ ɴᴏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ᴀɴsᴡᴇʀ)

[personal profile] findpeace 2015-03-13 09:39 am (UTC)(link)
[This is the kid who can put away several bowls of ramen in one sitting, trusting him to stop drinking is a huge mistake. Sasuke should especially have known not to leave it up to him. That sleeve being pulled yanks it out from where it was busy propping Naruto's chin and he jerks, bumping into the table.]

She loooooooves you. Love doesn't just disappear, you know.

[All of it was a disaster in the making. The unsupervised teens with plenty of alcohol to spare, Naruto and a certain Uchiha wasn't really much help. Anything involving Naruto is bound to be big.

He's in the middle of scooting Sasuke's glass towards that flailing hand when suddenly his friend is glaring over at him.]


You're the idiot, idiot. She didn't want me, she wanted you. And if I tried, she woulda buried me in the ground or something.

[The situation is so much more complicated than that.]
fanningtheflames: (tsk)

[personal profile] fanningtheflames 2015-03-13 03:37 pm (UTC)(link)
[Sasuke knows it, he knows it so well. But he's also known to have made a few shitty choices in his life. A hangover-free New Year's Day for the both of them had somehow felt like a reasonable sacrifice compared to the prospects of his other options of 1) going home alone and be unable to sleep until dawn, or 2) keep drinking on his own. ...Actually, even disregarding the disaster and a half already looming over them tonight, this could end bad in the long term too. Someone should keep an eye on his habits or something. Or, you know, trust to the inevitable regrets of tomorrow morning to deter him from being a shit influence in the future.]

Che, 'course it disappears! Right? Why's it people stop being married and stuff sometimes if it was, like, actually for life. Right?

[He pauses to take the glass that Naruto so obligingly is helping him to reach, pulls it close, and stares at the contents for a few seconds, the glare on his face softening into something more tired, defeated.]

...Man, fuck it. Whoever the hell came up with this system of things's gotta be kidding. Like, where's the on and off button...?

[He takes a big gulp out of the glass, then slams it back down on the table.]

The fuck am I supposed to do about it if there isn't an off button?!
findpeace: (ɪᴅᴇᴀ ≡ ᴅʀᴇssᴇᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ)

[personal profile] findpeace 2015-03-14 08:26 am (UTC)(link)
[Letting Naruto being the responsible one while drinking will be one of those shitty decisions. Especially in the morning when Kakashi finds them passed out right where he left them and decides to make them regret their choices with loud noises and his cheery disposition. It's likely that just because they feel terrible, they won't be able to simply sleep off the hangover that awaits them.]

It doesn't! It just changes, you know. Or something. I dunno.

[What does Naruto know about married couples? Diddly squat, that's what. All he does know is what he's been able to see in other families.

While Sasuke rants, he polishes off the rest of his booze before pouring them both even more. It doesn't matter if the other's cup isn't completely empty yet. Naruto's entire face lights up in excitement.]


Start a relationship with someone else! That turns a girl off, right? If she sees you like some other person then she might give up on you.

[Getting advice from him about girls isn't exactly a better idea than letting him be in charge of how much they drink. A lot of what he knows about them comes from Jiraiya....

Enough said.

Wait... Sasuke in a relationship with someone...

He leans in over the table and drops his voice to a whisper.]


You have to choose someone convincing or she'll never believe it's real.
Edited 2015-03-14 22:42 (UTC)
fanningtheflames: (ns// banter)

[personal profile] fanningtheflames 2015-03-15 06:24 am (UTC)(link)
[Love that changes? Yeah, into disgust or resentment or whatever, Sasuke'd believe that.

Naruto, you enabler. Sasuke gets to work on his newly filled glass, eyes shut, barely bothering to grunt in reply.

It isn't until Naruto shares his brilliant idea that Sasuke looks up again, his eyes sharper than one might expect at his current state of drunkenness.]


Someone else?

[Sasuke squints in concentration, attempting to envision this plan in action. When Naruto leans in, Sasuke leans in slightly too, listening intently.]

Someone... convincing? [A short pause while Sasuke just stares, eyebrows knitted pensively.] Like you?

[And it begins.]
findpeace: (ʜᴇʜ ≡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪs ᴘʀᴏʙʟᴇᴍ ʟɪᴇs ɪɴ ᴍᴇ)

1/5

[personal profile] findpeace 2015-03-15 06:49 am (UTC)(link)
[Naruto isn't really sure what all feelings of love can change into but he's sure it can be anything - not just bad ones. There have to be good ones too or his feelings for Sakura are going to be screwed up.

The worst. Does it really even matter at this point though? They're both going to have fairly atrocious headaches in the morning as it is. Might as well go for the record for Konoha's worst hangovers.

He nods at the questions like he gives the best advice ever.]


Yeah, exactly! Someone else!
findpeace: (ʀᴇʟᴀxᴇᴅ ≡ ᴀɴᴅ ɪғ ɪ sᴇᴇᴍ ᴅᴀɴɢᴇʀᴏᴜs)

[personal profile] findpeace 2015-03-15 06:49 am (UTC)(link)
[Wait for it...





Wait...


He leans back so he's no long half lying in the table and takes a drink from his glass.]
findpeace: (ᴇʜ ≡ ᴄᴀɴ ɪ ᴄʟᴇᴀʀ ᴍʏ ᴄᴏɴsᴄɪᴇɴᴄᴇ)

[personal profile] findpeace 2015-03-15 06:51 am (UTC)(link)
[Then proceeds to spit it right back up all over the place. Sorry not sorry if Sasuke gets caught in the spray.

Naruto begins to cough to try to dislodge what went down the wrong pipe, a fist knocking his chest even though it doesn't really help.


What?!




WHAT!?



WAIT!!!!!.]
findpeace: (ʜᴀɴᴅsғᴀᴄᴇ ≡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏғ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴅᴏ)

[personal profile] findpeace 2015-03-15 06:52 am (UTC)(link)
[His entire face starts turning red starting with his cheeks and spreading out until even his ears are flushed. Everything already felt warm from the alcohol but now it feels like Sasuke just set his face on fire and he lifts his hands to hide it. Not that it does much good because they just aren't enough to cover it completely.]
findpeace: (ᴀsᴅғ;ʟᴋᴊ ≡ ᴀ sᴛᴏʀᴍ ɪs ᴏɴ ɪᴛ's ᴡᴀʏ)

DONE

[personal profile] findpeace 2015-03-15 06:52 am (UTC)(link)
[LKADJFOWIEJF;ALKSDFJLKMCKIJOAIJ





After what might feel like forever, he spreads his fingers to peek out at the other with a single eye.]


Why would anyone believe that?!
fanningtheflames: (hope breaks me)

[personal profile] fanningtheflames 2015-03-15 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[Flecks of booze and spit land on Sasuke's face, his eyes reflexively snapping shut.] Gross, what the hell. [He says it more to himself than to Naruto, and despite his words, his tone is flat and sleepy. He's too far gone to actually be particularly bothered about it, really. He gets to work pulling his sleeve over his right hand, then wipes at his face with it. Some minimal grumbling may be involved.

Face-wiping successfully accomplished, Sasuke blinks his eyes open to watch Naruto's inner struggle. Not that he can see much, all he can spot is a glowing red which Sasuke thinks is coming from Naruto's face behind his hands.]


Oi... Oi, Naruto...

[What's he doing? Sasuke keeps watching, eyebrows furrowed and a bit of a contemplative pout on his face, until Naruto finally peeks back out again and answers.]

What you mean? I'll just hold your hand in public and everyone'll know. People're probably thinking stuff already anyway.

[Totally matter-of-fact.]
findpeace: (ʙʟᴜsʜ ≡ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ?)

[personal profile] findpeace 2015-03-15 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
[He is not apologizing for that mess. Naruto isn't even going to try to clean up what ends up all over the table. What's more important is this conversation because it is absolutely ridiculous except the other seems to be completely serious about it. Naruto completely misses his friend wiping off his backwash thanks to the hiding of his face.

Ack! Sasuke is staring straight at him and all he wants to do is find a hole to crawl into and hide for as long as possible. Maybe then he can pretend none of this ever happened.

The words and tone that his best friend returns causes his hands to drop entirely away to reveal just how flushed he is.]


What makes you think it'll be that easy? [Grumble grumble.] They all know I have feelings for Sakura-chan.

[Wait, back up.]

Why would they be thinking it already?

[Someone has to tell him how all of the things he's gone through to get Sasuke back looks to other people.]
fanningtheflames: (you're embarrassing yourself)

[personal profile] fanningtheflames 2015-03-16 05:27 am (UTC)(link)
[Don't worry, Naruto, keep working on that hangover, and there's always the chance neither of you will remember any of this tomorrow.

Sasuke leans back and sags a little in his seat with a soft sigh. In some odd, roundabout way he's slightly impressed by the level of flushed Naruto has reached. Some vague thoughts about whether or not one can beat a record in blushing rolls around in his mind for a moment until he realizes how useless that would be and shrugs off the idea.

Sasuke, in contrast, rarely feels much embarrassment at all, and that's without alcohol in his system. Perhaps it's natural, for someone who cares so little of the opinons of others.]


You blockhead, you chase me across how many countries and for how many years, and you think people won't think stuff? That kinda determination isn't normal to begin with, and you do it for some traitor everyone wants dead. Who wouldn't wonder about your fucked up priorities and... y'know, reasons.

[He gestures vaguely, almost knocking Naruto's glass over in the process. Almost. He fumbles with steadying it again. Ew, the table is all sticky underneath. ...Well, whatever, moving on. Officially not his mess, Sasuke won't clean it either. Even if it's slightly tugging at a nerve or two in him.]

...Anyway, don't come with stupid ideas if you don't wanna follow through.

[Because never mind who steered said idea into weird territory.]
findpeace: (sɪᴅᴇɢʟᴀɴᴄᴇ ≡ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴛᴜʀɴᴇᴅ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴀ)

[personal profile] findpeace 2015-03-16 05:51 am (UTC)(link)
[Get to guzzling, Uchiha, because this conversation is not happening.

The more Sasuke talks -- the more red his face gets until he feels like maybe it might just pop. With a groan, he lets his forehead bang on the table. Nope, not caring that his skin is sticking to it. Is that really how people see it? Why can't a guy not want to give up on his best friend -- on his first bond -- without others thinking weird shit like that?

His voice is mumbled against the wood.]


They just don't understand. They never really did.

[All of them grew up with families, had friends since they were tiny and people who cared for them. None of them can truly understand how Naruto felt when his very first bond started.

Naruto tilts his head just enough to look over at Sasuke.]


Would you even want to?

[Wait. That is not the question he meant to ask...]

I mean, I can't really picture you holding hands with anyone - and it is me we're talking about.

[CRAP! Not how that was supposed to go. Somehow his mouth has taken off without him -- spewing out words Naruto never meant to say.]

I never said you should choose me!

[Just sayin'.]
fanningtheflames: (headhurt)

[personal profile] fanningtheflames 2015-03-17 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
[Naruto is right, holding hands in public isn't interesting to Sasuke. He would do it if there was a purpose, but generally he couldn't care less.

Love in general has never been a point of focus to him. Despite opportunities lining themselves up, he had always let them pass him by. There's never been much room for it to begin with. There's always been other things in the way, too many wounds bleeding black and poisoning anything else he could have been.

Maybe that part of him had been locked away for too long, maybe it had never quite been there to begin with - he isn't too sure anymore.

For the first time since they'd started drinking, Sasuke actively wishes he hadn't drunk quite so much. His head spins, and his thoughts feel sluggish. It's cumbersome to try to think straight.

But does he even want to figure this out? The subject is like a knot in his chest that's been there for so long he's forgotten how it feels like to be without it. And this line of thought Naruto has started in him suddenly makes it tighten painfully, reminding him there's something there, that there's always been something there.

...

Yeah, no, he probably doesn't want to figure this out after all.

Sasuke ignores his glass and reaches directly for the bottle they're currently working on. He chugs a couple of mouthfuls, then puts it down again, hand still resting around the bottle neck.]


You were the only person I could think of, so what?

[Which probably means a whole lot, even if Sasuke thinks it won't sound that way. A tinge of frustration in his voice, he rubs at his eyes with his free hand.]

Who else d'you think I'd pick? There's no one.
Edited 2015-03-17 22:08 (UTC)
findpeace: (sᴀsᴜᴋᴇᴋɪss ≡ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɴᴏ-ᴏɴᴇ)

[personal profile] findpeace 2015-03-18 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
[All those things that he's seen couples do - he can't picture Sasuke doing it. NOT THAT HE'S THOUGHT ABOUT THAT KIND OF THING BEFORE!!

But he's just never seen his friend take in interest in someone like that; not the girls who used to swoon over him or anyone. Revenge had been the only real thing on Sasuke's mind. Time after time, the Uchiha had turned away from those who cared about him and even pushed them aside.

Even now that he was back, he hasn't shown much interest in finding someone to settle down with.

Actually, he's fairly certain that Sasuke spends a lot of his time with him. Would it work? Could they pretend that they were... dating and have everyone believe it? Whatever they pretended wouldn't be normal. They couldn't hold hands and do all that mushy stuff - it wouldn't be convincing.

Naruto ruffles his hair as if that's enough to shake loose these sudden thoughts. Clearly, he hasn't had enough to drink because he can't stop them.

The entire time Sasuke is considering it and drinking more (probably in an attempt to drown himself for the suggestion even being out there), Naruto watches him. Admittedly, his best friend wasn't unattractive - he'd always known that from the way girls fawned over him. His personality was irritating (some would say cool and aloof) but Naruto was used to that by now.

Suddenly the question shifts from would it work to would I be able to make it believable? There wasn't a doubt that Sasuke could make it work on his end as he didn't ruffle easily. Naruto was the one who tended to react obviously and overreact - especially when it came to the one sitting across from him now. Even if he knew it was coming, his reactions might give everything away.

But there really wasn't anyone else. Maybe he should find some significance in Sasuke's words other than that but he doesn't pick up on it.

Trying to think up a strategy to how this would work while under the influence just isn't working for him. So he should stop.

He doesn't bother trying to think up a wordy response and does what he what he's best at. Being unpredictable.

Naruto rises from his seat, knocking it over with a loud clatter and places one knee on the table. A hand goes down in the stickiness to support him as he leans over and grabs the front of Sasuke's shirt. Without any warning, he pulls on the other until they're close enough.

Then he proceeds to capture Sasuke's lips with his own. It's nothing like that one time they accidentally 'kissed'. This time it was completely intentional on his end even if the Uchiha is caught off-guard.

It has a hint of the alcohol they've been drinking and he's not sure if that's the reason that he isn't entirely horrified by what's happening. Naruto doesn't have the urge to back away as fast as possible. What he does instead is flick his tongue out to taste Sasuke a little more fully. He closes his eyes so that he can't see the punch that may or may not follow.]
Edited 2015-03-18 02:38 (UTC)
fanningtheflames: (ns// so bright)

[personal profile] fanningtheflames 2015-03-20 07:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[Sasuke's fist instinct when he realizes Naruto is climbing onto the table and reaching for him is that he's snapped and is after a fight. It doesn't seem like an unlikely reaction considering the circumstances, really. His reflex is to pull away, but Naruto's hand in his shirt stops him, pulls him back in. There's a split second before their lips meet when Sasuke knows what's about to happen, and knows he can stop it, but instead he freezes.

Sasuke is far from the indecisive type. He's used to knowing what he wants with clarity, and acting on it without worrying. But their lips touch, and he's still frozen, his mind a peculiar blank.

He lets go of the bottle he's still holding, leaving it precariously at the edge of the table without a second thought, and moves his hand to Naruto's chest, ready to push him away. But somehow, when it reaches its goal it doesn't push. It just hovers there, fingers digging into Naruto's shirt, hesitant.

It isn't until he feels the tip of Naruto's tongue nudge at his bottom lip that he finally snaps out of it. Something is stirring awake in his chest, something hot, enveloping, not unlike adrenaline, but not something Sasuke has a word for. Maybe it's partially the alcohol, maybe it's all him, he has no idea, and neither does he bother worrying about it.

Slightly belatedly, his lips part at the touch of Naruto's tongue, and he cups the back of Naruto's head with his free hand. His hold is firm, making a point of pushing them closer. He won't let Naruto pull away just yet. Even if he wants to, Sasuke won't make it easy. Lips move against lips, somewhat clumsily at first until he seems to find his bearings. Out of curiosity more than anythng else, Sasuke mirrors Naruto and pokes his tongue out, tasting, tracing Naruto's bottom lip.

The title of Number One Unpredictable Ninja isn't for naught, that's for sure. Sasuke isn't really thinking much at all at the moment, but somewhere in the back of his mind his brain is working on its own, trying to interpret this turn of events, and weighing what seems more likely; whether this is Naruto's idea of mocking him for even bringing up the notion of them together, if it's perhaps nothing but morbid curiosity, if it's simply the alcohol, or if Naruto... actually, truly just wanted to do it? No, that last one ends up at the bottom of his list of likely explanations, slightly above the possibility that aliens had implanted a chip in Naruto's brain that was affecting his behaviour. (As in, technically possible but stupidly unlikely, as far as he was concerned.)

His fingers would much rather stay in Naruto's hair, but after a few moments he lets go of the back of Naruto's head anyway. He leaves his other hand clutching the front of Naruto's shirt, but pulls back slightly, breaking the kiss to give Naruto a sharp, steely sort of glare.]


If this is your try at mocking me, it's not working for shit.
findpeace: (ʙʟᴜsʜ ≡ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ?)

[personal profile] findpeace 2015-03-21 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
[It started out as nothing more than curiosity. Wondering if he could do this sort of thing without recoiling and freaking out - giving away the fact that they were merely pretending. Wondering how they'd pull off the idea of having a relationship because holding hands wasn't really their style. They were more likely to start arguing than cuddling.

To be honest, he's kind of expecting the whole thing to be a horrifying and traumatizing experience. Not to mention that he's bracing himself for the hit that's sure to happen.

Except it never comes. Instead, he feels a fist tightening in his jacket and can't be bothered to think of a reason why. Naruto also can't be bothered to explain the feeling that rises up in him when he isn't pushed away. Though that might not be the alcohol numbing his thoughts and more the fact that he doesn't want to think about it.

Suddenly the second kiss in his life (funny how the first was with the same person) isn't going how he thought it would. That slight taste of alcohol is no longer a taste, it feels like he's drowning but doesn't care to get to the surface. There's no denying the fact that now Naruto is wondering what a kiss with the other would taste like if there hadn't been so much alcohol beforehand.

Fingers card through his hair and it causes goosebumps to rise along the back of his neck. The touch is completely different from having other people ruffle his hair in a friendly manner or doing it to himself. It's foreign enough to be strange and slightly sensitive but yet pleasant enough to not want to pull away. What he does want is for Sasuke to keep going. Naruto will deny ever having made a soft, pleased sound at such a seemingly simple touch.

When something warm and slick touches his mouth, his heart leaps up into his chest. Despite the fact that they've been kissing for a while, the sudden realization hits that Sasuke is kissing him back. This is more than just lips touching clumsily like they aren't two people who confidently saved the world. This is Sasuke -- exploring what's happening. Naruto isn't an expert in this area. Both of them know how their first kiss went and even though he traveled with a pervy sage, that doesn't mean he actually knows what he's doing. It hardly matters considering Naruto's sure that his heart has stopped and he might not survive this one.

He isn't quite prepared when the kiss ends and the hand leaves his hair. For a moment, he just stares - not at all seeing that glare. His mind takes even longer to catch up to the fact that Sasuke said something.]


I just... [Can't even think straight or really form words. Either way there's no sign of mocking in his expression, his eyes say that he's completely serious. If he wasn't serious before - he is now. Once again, his face is turning bright red.] That wasn't terrible.