estivates: (Default)
estivates ([personal profile] estivates) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet2015-01-25 10:07 pm

[ the RANDOM SCENARIO meme ]


- Post your character, name, and series in the subject. Include any preferences as well.
- Go to RNG and enter 1-7 for a scene type, and 1-20 for a scene to play out.
- Have fun!

① Action → Gun fights, bar brawls, fights to the death are all possible scenarios.
② Angst → Characters suffer emotionally or physically from relationships breaking up, death, injury, etc. Hurt and comfort themes are included.
③ Crack → Genderswaps, super powers, sudden compulsions are all possible outcomes.
④ Fluff → Something that is devoid of angst. It's light-hearted and might have the overtone of romance.
⑤ Gen → General fun, things that didn't fit in the other categories.
⑥ Sex → First times, kinks, even dubcon are all possible themes of sex related scenarios.
⑦ Your choice → Think of your own scenario, choose one of the above or make a combo even!

① Zombies → It's the zombie apocalypse, lock and load!
② Bar brawl → You had one too many drinks, said something wrong, and now you're being asked to take it outside.
③ Chase → You're caught in a high speed chase.
④ Gun fight → You're caught in a big shoot-out.
⑤ Fight with a friend → You're fighting with a friend, all out.
⑥ Interrogation → You're being interrogated for some offense you've done.
⑦ Aliens → Aliens are attacking and you're not going to take your probe laying down!
⑧ Final battle → This is it. The battle that will end all the fighting for you. Will you win? Will you get that peace you want?
⑨ Training → You're not actually fighting, just training for the inevitable.
⑩ No hope → You know this fight has no hope. It's not going to end well for anyone involved, but you can't turn away.
⑪ Sneaking in → You're stealing a diamond or sneaking in to kick some bad guy butt, but whatever it is, you have to practice stealth.
⑫ Blue wire → You're faced with a bomb that needs to be disarmed.
⑬ Fight for honor → You've been disgraced or someone you care about has, so it's time to fight for honour.
⑭ Showdown → Time for a cowboy-style showdown. Whoever draws the fastest wins.
⑮ War → You're caught in the middle of a war here. Remember to keep your chin up and keeping fighting.
⑯ Apocalypse → The apocalypse finally happened and now you're left to scavenge and fight for whatever is left.
⑰ Sabotage → It's time to sabotage someone's plan! How is entirely up to you. Do you set up a bomb in their toilet? Do you double cross them at the last minute?
⑱ Big damn hero → You know you have to handle this one alone, so that means disarming or knocking unconscious the person who wants to join you.
⑲ Fight club → You know the rules... you're in an underground fighting ring and you're fighting with all you've got.
⑳ Threaten → You've just been sent here to rough them up a little, threaten them into behaving.

ii. ANGST.
① Injury / illness → Your character has become injured or ill! To what extent is the mun's choice.
② Last moments → You character has been gravely injured and this is their last chance to say their last words.
③ Depression → Your character is depressed, what actions they take is up to the mun.
④ Betrayed → You character has been betrayed by the other. How do they react?
⑤ Tortured → Your character is being tortured and needs rescuing or at least a sympathetic ear to help him through it.
⑥ Jealousy → Your character is feeling jealous and must deal with it, how will they do it?
⑦ Breakup! → This relationship has gone as far as it can, it's time to breakup.
⑧ Broken → For whatever reason, the character is broken, mentally or or physically.
⑨ Fight → You can't even be in the same room as your friend or lover without arguing anymore.
⑩ Lost → You lost the biggest fight of your life and now all you can do is try to pick up the pieces.
⑪ Worst nightmare → Whatever you fear the most is now real or maybe you're just trapped in a dream together, but whatever it is, it feels too real.
⑫ Addicted → You're addicted to something, alcohol, drugs, sex, whatever. It's destroying your life and you can't do anything to stop it.
⑬ Hurt you → You're being forced to hurt someone you love either by betraying them or even being forced to shout things you don't mean. It's for their own good in the end though.
⑭ Separation → You were forced to leave this person for their own safety and while you've been miserable without them, you really didn't mean to run into them again... maybe it was by accident or you were watching them from afar this whole time.
⑮ Becoming a monster → You are slowly changing, becoming a monster: vampire, zombie, demon, something you can't recover from and no-one can help you.
⑯ Frozen → You are entirely helpless, frozen, to stop some kind of disaster.
⑰ Prison → You were very bad and now it's time to pay the price by turning yourself in or maybe the law just finally caught up to you.
⑱ Fear → You're not sure why, but you are suddenly terrified and you can't deal with it. You need help.
⑲ Hated → You are now hated by the person you loved the most.
⑳ Down and out → You're living on the streets, you've hit rock bottom, and you don't know what to do.

iii. CRACK.
① Sexswap → Uh-oh, you're suddenly the opposite sex!
② Forced confessions → No matter what it is and no matter how hard you resist, you're going to be compelled to spill some deep dark secret!
③ Mind-reading → You've suddenly got the ability to read minds!
④ Animal → You're suddenly part animal or transformed into an animal!
⑤ Awkward pick-up lines → You're compelled to use bad pickup lines on whoever is closest!
⑥ Back in School / Graduated → You're suddenly back in school! Or if you were already in it, you've aged and long since graduated!
⑦ Vampires, werewolves, and zombies, oh my! → You're suddenly a vampire, werewolf, or zombie! Maybe even a demon or a devil, whatever creepy crawly you can think of. What do you do now?
⑧ Ghost → You're suddenly a ghost or at least invisible. What are you going to do with this new ability?
⑨ Awkward conversations → So did you just fart or what? Any conversation goes, as long as it's embarrassing and awkward.
⑩ Crossdressing → For whatever reason, you're suddenly dressed in clothes of the opposite sex.
⑪ Suddenly naked → Oops! Your clothes are suddenly gone.
⑫ Suddenly a kid → You're a kid again! Have fun with that second childhood.
⑬ Fortune cookie → You've suddenly received a note with something that will happen in the future, either precise or vague.
⑭ Super power → And suddenly you're like Superman! Any power goes.
⑮ Bodyswap → Somehow you've changed bodies with the other person.
⑯ Back in time → Somehow, you wound up in the past again. Do you try to correct something or just sit and wait for time to jump? Maybe it jumps to various points in your life or maybe you actually think you're back in the day. Have fun, run wild with the idea!
⑰ To the future → Is it everything you've dreamed? Is it horrible? Whatever happens, you're here to witness what happens to you in the future. Either you take the place of your future self or you're just there to watch. Might cause some confusion if people start seeing double though...
⑱ Angels, mermaids, and fairies! → You're not necessary something dark or evil. You're just something different. How do you deal?
⑲ Locked in a closet → For some reason, you're locked up in a closet with someone else. Do you make nice and try to figure your way out or what?
⑳ Finger trap → You're caught in a Chinese finger trap... with somebody else! You can't figure out how to get loose either... have fun with that.

iv. FLUFF.
① Cuddling → For whatever reason, characters feel like being close and cuddling.
② Pillow talk → After the main event, characters are up for some pillow talk.
③ Celebration → Anniversary or some other big event is taking place and characters want to celebrate!
④ Love confession → Someone has finally decided to confess their love and today is the day!
⑤ Appreciation → You feel the need to show appreciation for that person closest to you, even if it's just a pat on the back.
⑥ Apologies → You made a mistake and now it's time to make it up in some way you know the other can't refuse!
⑦ Get back together → Why did you break up again exactly? Whatever the reason, it was a huge mistake and you both know you can work through it.
⑧ Date night → You've planned for a wonderful night together and you can't wait to get it started.
⑨ Family → You've either found out you're pregnant or you've already got that addition to your family.
⑩ Marriage → You're just about to get hitched or maybe you're enjoying your honeymoon. Maybe you've been together for years now! Whatever the case, it's time for that next big step.
⑪ Meeting again → It's time for that happy reunion finally!
⑫ Love at first sight → For whatever reason, you are now insanely in love with the first person you set eyes on.
⑬ Flirtation → You can't resist to do a little bit of harmless flirtation all of a sudden.
⑭ In the snow → Look outside! It's a winter wonderland, so why not go out and play in it?
⑮ Engagement → You've planned it all out and now it's time to finally pop the question.
⑯ Friendly games → You've set up the game station or board games for a friendly competition!
⑰ Gift → Time to give that special someone a gift just because.
⑱ Recovery → You're taking care of someone who's just recovered from some illness or injury.
⑲ Healing → Time to help mend that someone who's been through hell and back.
⑳ Better than ever → You've finally got everything you've ever wanted here. What is your ideal life and who does it include?

v. GEN.
① Nice meeting you → It's your first time meeting this person! You bumped into each other on the street, in a bar, at work... whatever!
② Drinks → You're out for drinks! Or just chilling at home with some beers. Wherever!
③ Lost → You're lost and you kind of need help finding your way to where you're going. A little help with directions?
④ Costume party → You're at a costume party, both of you are wearing masks. Do you keep the anonymity or take it off and see whose company you've been enjoying?
⑤ Wrong number → Oops, actually you didn't mean to call that person...
⑥ Drunk → You're already drunk! Drunk dialing, stumbling into someone, showing up unexpected... what type of drunk are you anyway? Aggressive, loving, happy? How does the other react?
⑦ Old friends → you haven't seen this person in a long time!
⑧ Rivals → you're suddenly rivals! Or maybe you have been all along...
⑨ Problems → you've got a problem with each other, just got in a huge fight, whatever. Try to work it out!
⑩ What are your intentions... → This person? They're dating a close friend, family member, etc. You need to find out if they're going to hurt them! Or you need to discuss your friend/family's dating choice.
⑪ I saw you → you saw the other person doing something bad and you need to confront them about it.
⑫ Sorry but no → the other person has feelings that you just don't share. They don't necessarily have to be romantic... maybe you just don't agree with their sudden desire to quit their job and start a business making tiny, fuzzy teddy bears.
⑬ My hero → you need to tell this person how much they mean to you. They've been your best friend or your role model your whole life and they need to know.
⑭ Enabler → you're enabling the other (or each other) to do something bad, really bad. Addiction, stealing, killing, or just any other self-destructive behavior.
⑮ Cooking → Time for an impromptu cooking lesson!
⑯ Oh, sure, I remember you... → It's that awkward moment when someone comes up and seems to know you, but you have no idea who they even are!
⑰ Rescue! → One of you was in trouble, but you came to the rescue!
⑱ Boss → One of you works under the other. Is your relationship good? Are you scheming things? Or do you hate each other?
⑲ Perfect crime → You and the other person have just pulled off the perfect crime... or you're planning to! What are you doing? The heist of the century, an assassination?
⑳ Movies → movie night! Maybe it's a sleepover. Whichever the case, it's time to eat a lot and have fun.

vi. SEX.
① First time → it's your first time together or your first time ever! Enjoy the awkward times!
② Bondage → You and your partner decide to experiment a little with ropes or handcuffs or whatever you'd like to tie your partner up with.
③ Rough / Aggressive → Your characters want it rough.
④ Romantic → Slow and gentle, meaningful, that's how characters want it.
⑤ Dubcon → Character A wants Character B and it doesn't really matter if Character B wants it as bad or not.
⑥ In public → Characters feel like taking a risk and doing it in a public place.
⑦ Roleplay → Naughty nurse fetish? Pirate kink? You and your partner decide to try it out now!
⑧ Healing → You've both fought hard or gone through a rough time and it's time to get some R&R in.
⑨ Last time → This is the last time you're going to this because you're breaking up or maybe your lover is running off to sacrifice their lives in some heroic way. The possibilities are endless, but you better make this one count.
⑩ No strings attached → You're just friends with benefits. Nothing wrong with that, right?
⑪ Anonymous → You met in a restroom or bar, any location of your choosing, but you don't even know each other's names.
⑫ Toys → You're eager to try something new, so why not toys?
⑬ Aphrodisiacs → You've been slipped a strong aphrodisiac somehow and now you absolutely cannot control yourself.
⑭ Show → You're putting on a show by either doing it right in the club or filming it for a bunch of people.
⑮ Ménage à trois → It's time for that threesome you've always dreamed of.
⑯ Non-penetrative → Frottage, handjobs, whatever you want to try out.
⑰ Controlled → You are under mind control and must do whatever your lover asks of you.
⑱ Hate sex → It's not just rough or aggressive, you absolutely cannot stand each other.
⑲ Extreme → Fisting, knife play, whatever you can think of so long as it tests the boundaries.
⑳ Fantasy → This is just a fantasy, a dream, and you know it, but what is your ideal fantasy and how willing is your partner?
dirk_gently: (gesticulate w pencil)

Are you for real?? XD (5-16?)

[personal profile] dirk_gently 2015-01-27 11:38 pm (UTC)(link)
"Well it took you long enough! The bloody monster is in there. Aren't you supposed to do something about it, kid?" The man that strut-waddles toward Max is very short, very overweight, and very certain of who Max is, apparently. He's a distinctive figure himself, in a shirt and tie that clash in a way that's hard on the eyes, a ridiculous red hat, and a long flapping coat that gives him the air of a very shoddy-looking private detective. He has a British accent and an air of assumed authority, jerking a thumb over his finger to indicate the nearest building, from which a crash and a few yells punctuate his statement about the monster.
90s_kid: (Why do I do things?)

Yep! :D

[personal profile] 90s_kid 2015-01-27 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Wait, what? Max whirls around and staring at the man as though he'd sprouted a second head. "Uh, what?" was his intelligent reply, the kid blinking like a deer that got caught in the headlights. His friends and mom knowing he was the Mighty One was one thing; a perfect stranger with a weirder hat than his was another one entirely. And where were Norman and Virgil? He could have sworn the instructions had said they'd meet him here, but they were nowhere to be seen. "Wait, did you say monster?" It figured that a perfectly good Friday night had to be ruined by the whole "save the world" thing.

dirk_gently: (disgruntled)

I was a fan of Norman.

[personal profile] dirk_gently 2015-01-28 12:26 am (UTC)(link)
Actually, that's a look he's not unfamiliar with getting. Completely unfazed, the fat man crosses his arms and scrutinizes the boy through thick glasses. He could have sworn every clue the universe was dropping on his head pointed this way, and while he'd only chosen this kid on a hunch, the reaction was telling. Somehow he didn't look nearly as incredulous as your average bystander.


There's another crash, and a handful of people flee through the front doors.

"Approximately six meters long, roughly reptillian in physiology, no wings but an excessive amount of evidently corrosive salivation, and an appetite for both destruction and human flesh. Are we all caught up now?"
90s_kid: (Why do we even have that lever?)

Norman is undeniably awesome.

[personal profile] 90s_kid 2015-01-28 01:01 am (UTC)(link)
he Max suddenly feels like he's in class, has forgotten his homework (and no, the teacher would probably not believe that he'd lost it in Skullmaster's lair) and his pants, and has lobbed the world's most obvious spitball, such is the power of the strange man's look. "I, uh, guess it probably won't do me any good to say that monsters aren't real and that you've got the wrong guy, huh?" Max asked sheepishly, shoulders hunched as he looked up at the man.

He took in the description fairly quickly, but what was he supposed to do against such a creature? Wit could only take him so far, and for all that he was the Mighty One, he was still an eleven-year old boy - and no Norman or Virgil in sight. "Actually, can you tell me anything else? Like how you apparently know me? And where are my buddies, if you know so much?" Maybe if he could find the others, he could stand more of a chance than he did now.
dirk_gently: (talking)

That cartoon had the best voice actors.

[personal profile] dirk_gently 2015-01-28 01:45 am (UTC)(link)
"Convincing that monsters aren't real would require a certain level of amnesia on my part, considering I've already seen it firsthand." One eyebrow rises, but the fat man looks slightly uncomfortable to have the burden of explanation put back on himself. He was, quite frankly, hoping he'd stumbled onto somebody who knew more about the situation than he does. Still, his convoluted methods seem to have led him to somebody who doesn't bat an eye over the existence of monsters, so he's pretty sure he's aimed in the right direction. "Have I got the wrong guy? You don't look as skeptical as the average man on the street... boy on the street. what do your companions look like?" He might be able to find them. He is a private detective, after all. Mostly he finds lost cats, but there's no reason to admit to that right now.
90s_kid: (And then I discovered cheese in a can.)

It did! I'm in the middle of a re-watch right now, and Tony Jay and Tim Curry are still awesome. XD

[personal profile] 90s_kid 2015-01-28 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
Okay, that was a fair point. Considering the state the world was in, it was honestly not that surprising that some other folks were used to them, for all that the average joe wouldn't know what to do with one if it showed up in his backyard. But hey, duty called, and now was not the time to mentally go over hypotheticals. "You'd know 'em if you'd seen 'em. One's a pretty big guy with a pony tail. His name's Norman. Don't separate him from his sword if you know what's good for you. The other's a three-foot chicken in a red robe named Virgil." He could almost hear an insistent Fowl, actually, in the back of his mind, and held back a grin.
dirk_gently: (gesticulate w pencil)

Both awesome forever! But I also like Richard Moll.

[personal profile] dirk_gently 2015-01-28 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
"...Three-foot tall, or three-foot as in 'tripedal'?" Dirk's vocabulary could give Virgil a run for his money, really. "And a sword isn't likely to go over well with the police. Although watching them attempt to separate him from it sounds like it could have entertainment value." Dirk sighs, and runs a hand over his face. "On the other hand, a sword seems precisely the manner of instrument made for dealing with a rampaging wyrm. Did you lose him in the local vicinity? Much as it sounds like the scaly menace back there should be dealt with in an expedient manner, I'm not exactly well-equipped for the task, and neither, I'm beginning to suspect, are you..."

Still, he's come pretty close to stumbling on who he needs, right?

A window shatters, and he winces and jumps. If they don't want to deal with this thing themselves, they should probably get a move on.
90s_kid: (How does your brain even work?)

Pretty much a dream team, imo.

[personal profile] 90s_kid 2015-01-28 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
"Just three feet tall. No chickens with three feet in my social groups." But they were getting off track. "Yeah, Normie doesn't get along well with police. It's probably best to keep him away from them." At least, it was if what happened in Turkey was any indication. Sheesh, hadn't those guys ever heard of a fair trial? "And, well, I was kinda supposed to meet them here, but I haven't seen them!" Maybe they were trying to face the monster?

Max shrugged, then tensed at the window cracking, jumping a little. He took a hesitant few steps forward, trying to glance about to see if anyone else was around. As scared as he was, he couldn't just allow anybody to be hurt by this thing if he could help it.
dirk_gently: (injured)

They just don't make cartoons like they used to, hunh?

[personal profile] dirk_gently 2015-01-28 02:47 am (UTC)(link)
"I don't get along with them, either. Away, in case you hadn't noticed, is in this direc-Ooff!" Some of the people around them, more alarmed and just maybe more sensible, were already fleeing the area in a hurry. One of them had just bumped into Dirk, in fact, and solid as he was he still went down. Landing on his backside was not the ideal position to be in, when the monster seemed to be emerging from the building not very far away.

A scaly head emerged, yellow, slit-pupiled eyes darting around to track one fleeing person and then another. The mouth gaped, showing rows of needle-like teeth and a snakelike forked tongue. It hissed, swung its head around, and eyeballed the two figures in the fleeing crowd that did not seem to be running at all. Max might make a nice snack. Dirk, on the ground, would even be a sizeable entree.
90s_kid: (Never play hopscotch with a giant.)

Sadly, no. /shakes cane

[personal profile] 90s_kid 2015-01-28 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, no. Not this again. Max swallowed hard, his voice hardly cracking as he tried - and failed - to avoid freezing in terror at the sight of the monster. "Well," he laughed weakly. "At least it's not a school night. My mom would kill me." Jokes aside, there really was no sign of Norman and Virgil, which meant only one thing; they needed to go, now. Fearful, and feeling as though he might just be making the worst - and last - mistake of his life, Max turned around to offer the stranger a hand up (not that it was likely to help much, given Max's general lack of muscle and Dirk's rather impressive girth).

"Alright, we gotta move! Any ideas?" Running was ideal for now, but sooner or later, they'd have to take that thing out.
dirk_gently: (This is a bad idea...)

Don't get me started on Gargoyles...

[personal profile] dirk_gently 2015-01-28 03:18 am (UTC)(link)
Dirk flailed a little, but he was not oblivious to the sudden attention they were getting. He might have a trick knee and a spare tire big enough for a semi, but the right surge of adrenaline could do wonders for a man. The hand up helped, really, just enough to offset his slightly iffy knee. It had given him trouble ever since he got run over by a bike courier. Running, on the other hand, was probably not going to work very well for very long, whatever Max was thinking. Dirk was not built for speed.

Staggering to his feet, Max's new companion eyed the monster back, and gave a quiet swallow, but his mind was moving a thousand miles an hour. "We need a rope or a net-"

Then the thing gave a little lunge to get further through the window, and Dirk's feet started to think without checking with his brain.

Maybe running wasn't such a terrible plan.
90s_kid: (Now's not the time for dance lessons!)

Oh man, Gargoyles was the best.

[personal profile] 90s_kid 2015-01-28 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
Man, this guy was heavy. Hopefully, he could keep up, because Max didn't want to get eaten, and he didn't want anyone else to be, either. But at least he was talking sense - a rope might be easily chewed through, but they might be able to use it, and ever since Norman had told him about the time he'd taken down the Hydra, Max had spent some of his spare time thinking about how cool it would be to face one in a video game.

This, however, was the exact opposite of a video game. This was reality, and in reality, you didn't tend to be able to hit the rest button or gain any extra lives. So Max ran with the man, fervently checking behind him as the creature slowly, but surely, began to stomp after him. "Not to cause a panic, but I think he wants dinner!"
dirk_gently: (yikes!)

I used to RP Owen Burnett...

[personal profile] dirk_gently 2015-01-28 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
A moment of sheer panic actually gave Dirk a slight head start, but it's one he can't keep for more than a matter of seconds, because he is not made for running at all. Still, he might do better than Max expects, because he's alarmed enough right now to put his heart into it.

The beast that slithers out of the window has a long twisty body and, fortunately for them, proportionately short legs. There is also a distinct lack of wings. It's got a dragony kind of look to it, but it's a very snakey kind of dragon, and there are just enough people still running away to keep it a little distracted. It's in pursuit, but it's not as focused or as fast as it could be. In fact, it pauses briefly, because it's not built for running either, and makes a noise like a cat with a bad hairball. It doesn't breathe fire, so that's good! It does spit some kind of foul-smelling goop that splatters not far from Dirk's own heels and sizzles as it eats a pit in the pavement.

Dirk gives an undignified yelp which he would, if it were ever brought up, totally deny is a noise he's even capable of. He changes course and makes a grab for the boy's shirt to tug him along, diverting to put a parked car between them and the monster.
90s_kid: (Why would you ever wear teal?)


[personal profile] 90s_kid 2015-01-29 02:35 am (UTC)(link)
Max, meanwhile, is running through vague half-ideas in his head, the sort that may or may not allow them to survive all this. His sneakers may or may not be melting - again - and the boy is fairly certain that if this thing doesn't manage to kill him, his mom will still ground him until he's thirty. He skids into place behind the car, his heart pounding as he wildly looks around for something - anything - that can help them.

"What were you saying about rope?" he asks the man, looking up at him. They can't just keep running - and even if they could, what about the other people who are running from it? They could be killed, and Max isn't about to let that happen if he can help it, as scared as he is.
dirk_gently: (happily surprised)

[personal profile] dirk_gently 2015-01-29 03:54 am (UTC)(link)
Because he's slightly less aerodynamic than a boulder, whatever Dirk's first answer was meant to be just comes out as a wheeze. He leans one hand against the car and the other on his knee, bent over as far as his gut allows. Running much further is a thing that is not going to happen.

On the plus side, the monster seems to have a fairly short attention span and once they're out of its line of sight it's quick to become distracted, looking for other prey.

"Rope. Wire. Cord..." Max's companion pants out, and he's winded, but he looks all around for anything likely to be useful, and pops his head up a little to peer inside the car they're leaning on, just in case. Whoever's car it is, they've been to the hardware store recently, and there's a couple of cans of paint, a roller, a try, all the usual stuff that goes along with painting a few rooms in the house. Including some tarp. "Net!" He gets out, and grins, then tries the door handle. Locked.

Not a problem. Still catching his breath, he rummages in a coat pocket and pulls out some bits of wire, fiddles with the lock for a minute, then yanks open the door and starts pulling out the tarp. "Should... be big enough..." At least he can breathe enough to speak again, now.

Unfortunately the monster seems to be going off up the street, so they may have to actually chase it down.
90s_kid: (Why do we even have that lever?)

[personal profile] 90s_kid 2015-01-30 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
Great, just great. Max wasn't about to leave the guy, naturally, but he wished Norman were here, at least. Still, he can tell the man's intelligent, even if he - like Max - isn't physically fit enough to take on a monster. He looks around at the car, raising an eyebrow at the man. "You're not gonna...?" he trails off, realizing that the man is going to do Exactly what Max thinks he is. Normally, he'd protest, but given the circumstances, maybe a few missing home improvement supplies are better than people getting eaten (and knowing how Max's life usually goes, he's sure some people already have - and that's not exactly a pleasant thought).

"Alright, what do we do with it?" Set up some kind of a trap, he's assuming. He looks around the area, racking his brain for ideas. Maybe if he could lure the monster in...
dirk_gently: (happy talking)

[personal profile] dirk_gently 2015-01-30 02:08 am (UTC)(link)
Max hardly needs to finish the sentence. Still breathing heavily, but recovered enough to talk, Dirk straightens up and rolls his eyes. "We're borrowing it." He's a big fan of borrowing what he needs in life. Sometimes he borrows so much the people he's borrowed from send men who look a little like Norman around to threaten his kneecaps if he doesn't return what he's borrowed, in fact, but a tarp meant to catch paint spills isn't exactly something that's going to be a big problem to replace.

Anyway, Max should hardly be surprised somebody who can pick the lock on a car door that fast has no problem taking what's inside.

"Anyway, for all we know, stopping that thing just may be to the benefit of whoever this rightfully belongs to." He leans around the car, peering up the street at the marauding monster. "It's not all that big... but the acid is a problem. I wonder... tell me my boy," He glances back in the car, and grabs the painter's tape as well. "Have you ever seen anybody wrestle an alligator? They tape their mouths shut, and it seems that as remarkably powerful as the crushing power of their downward bite may be, nature has deigned to sacrifice strength in the opposing direction... If we can just catch it and pin it down long enough to wrap the head, we could test if this monstrosity has suffered the same flaw of design."
90s_kid: (How does your brain even work?)

[personal profile] 90s_kid 2015-02-01 02:41 am (UTC)(link)
Cue the most skeptical look the eleven-year-old could manage. "Yeah, okay. That means you're gonna put it back when we're done, right?" Though honestly, he couldn't fault the man that much for using anything he could find while they were trying to survive. He stepped back, raising an eyebrow at the man. An alligator? Well, that thing did kind of have jaws that looked like one, and Max thought he could see what he was getting at. "Not exactly, but Norman was telling me about the time he wrestled one." He said it was kind of like the time he killed the Hydra, in fact.

Ah-ha! "Great! One problem; how are we supposed to get it around that thing?" Not for the first time, Max looked around at their surroundings again. Maybe if they could tie it between street lamps - but would that be enough?
dirk_gently: (disgruntled)

[personal profile] dirk_gently 2015-02-01 03:10 am (UTC)(link)
The skeptical look is shot right back at him, and at forty-something Dirk has had plenty of practice. "Assuming it survives use..." Well, no, he'll probably still forget about bothering to return it, even if it does come through intact. It's only a tarp. He's borrowed more important things than this before.

The tarp idea sounds like a great one, but every means of pinning the creature down and wrapping its jaws shut requires, sooner or later, getting awfully close to it. His expression falls back into a frown as he studies the monster, which is clawing at a car with a panicked young man inside.

"... Not easily." He sighs, and winces as the trapped man screams. Dirk Gently, private holistic investigator, is definitely not in the hero business. But he's not heartless, either. "We may just have to distract it, move fast, and hope for the best..." Not exactly an ideal plan, but what else have they got?
90s_kid: (Why do I do things?)

[personal profile] 90s_kid 2015-02-03 03:40 am (UTC)(link)
Max looked at the tarp. It seemed sturdy enough, sure, but it wouldn't exactly have been his Plan A. Of course, his Plan A would have involved his guardian and his mentor by his side, but hey, you couldn't always get what you want. Still, as that old song his mom liked would say, if you tried sometimes, you got what you needed.

Max whipped around to watch the monster and swallowed. "How 'bout I do the distracting, and you set this up?" he offered, before gathering his courage and running at the monster. Scooping up a broken off bit of cement, he chucked it with all of his unimpressive strength at the creature. "Hey, ugly!" he shouted, sounding braver than he felt. "Instead of canned tuna, why not just go for fast food?"
dirk_gently: (Bitty Dirk running)

[personal profile] dirk_gently 2015-02-03 05:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, it's probably for the best if Max takes the part that involves the most running around, otherwise this could end badly, and fast. Dirk winces at the yell, but he's quick to bundle up the tarp and creep away, trying to keep hidden behind a line of parked cars and find a route to circle around and get behind the beast while it's distracted.

Max's tactic is an effective one, as the monster's head whips around, snakelike, to focus in on the noise. The broken chunk of cement drops a little short, and the slit-pupiled eyes follow it, but the second it's clear that thing's not moving anymore, the eyes dart to Max. He looks a lot more interesting than a rock, and easier to get at than the screamer in the tin can. A forked tongue flicks in and out while it considers, then the monster slithers in a quick turn to charge for the boy, body sinuous, legs moving fast to make up for being short. Apart from the lizardy head and tail, it's built like a dachshund.
90s_kid: (Why would you ever wear teal?)

Holy crow, I did not even get the notif for this one. D: Sorry!

[personal profile] 90s_kid 2015-02-05 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Max can tell that Dirk isn't exactly the greatest at running around. He probably hasn't had to deal with monsters head-on nearly as much - at least, that's Max's guess. But the boy sees what Dirk's doing, and he keeps that in mind as he runs, just barely missing the creatures charge. Norman would tell him he ate monsters for breakfast. He wished the guardian were here now.

But he wasn't, and they needed to move, and Max really didn't want to see anybody die, including himself. So he dodged, and he tried to lead the monster around, and he wondered if perhaps it wouldn't be too suicidal to chuck another rock at the thing. "Over here, Bright-Eyes! he yelled, sounding much more confident than he actually felt, once again.
dirk_gently: (talking)

It happens! They're having issues with Hotmail and Yahoo I think?

[personal profile] dirk_gently 2015-02-06 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
Dirk is not the best at sneaking around, either. He's short, but he's wide and he's not subtle. Fortunately for them both, the monster they're fighting is not a genius. Max alone is enough of a distraction, and the creature isn't as fast as it could be, but it is a little tricky to evade. Being so long, it doesn't make sharp turns, but it does seem perfectly comfortable twisting and writhing and arching to almost fold back on itself if need be. There's a soft hiss, when Max yells at it, more a reaction to the noise than any intelligent response to the words themselves. After chasing Max around a minute (while the man who was trapped in his car pops the door when it's turned away, and runs for it), the monster pauses and pulls its head back slightly, then tries to spit acid in the boy's direction.

It's made that same little pause-and-ready before it spat acid, before, and seeing this Dirk considers that might be a vulnerable moment. He's also noticed the escaping man left his car door open, and that's an opportunity to make a quick raid for supplies. When he comes creeping around the front fender, he tries to catch Max's attention, and mouthes expressively, 'AGAIN!'

Of course, Max may or may not be too busy dodging acid to catch this and realize Dirk wants a repeat performance.
90s_kid: (Worst. Episode. Ever.)

Aaaand I use Yahoo. :\

[personal profile] 90s_kid 2015-02-09 09:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Luckily, Max is well used to having to dodge in the nick of time. At least it was one of the dumber monsters he'd had to deal with. Smart monsters just weren't fair. Not only did they have teeth and claws and other nasty things, but they could potentially out-think him? Nope, that was not a thing Max liked. Fortunately, he catches the signal Dirk gives him - but promptly has to dodge acid.

"Oh, man," Max whines, "my mom's gonna kill me if I wreck another pair of sneakers." But he listens, and he moves again, hoping the creature would repeat what it did before. "You're so ugly, I bet your mom has to put a bag over your head before she kisses you good night!" he yells, waving at the beast.
dirk_gently: (dramatic lighting)

Well there you go. Apparently Yahoo is blacklisting DW emls.

[personal profile] dirk_gently 2015-02-10 02:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Dirk edges closer quietly, watching. There's really not much to hang the tarp from, and any trap seems likely to be quickly destroyed by acid and claws. Seeing all this, Dirk's decided to take the direct approach, and pray he doesn't end up regretting it.

The wyrm turns to track Max, scrambles a couple feet forward, and draws back its head a little again. The words are meaningless- Max is lucky on this one, since it's not one of those monsters sharp enough to outthink them. As soon as it starts to ready another acid attack, Dirk is on the move, putting on as much speed as his bulk and short legs will allow. He throws the tarp as the neck straightens out and the thing spits...

And then leaps onto its neck for good measure, pinning the creature's head down. Hey, when you're in poor physical shape, you have to use what you've got. Dirk wrestles with the tarp, wrapping it around the thing's head and mouth while it flails, its glob of acid falling short on the pavement.

Unfortunately there's still a lot of long, serpentine body, now flailing and thrashing, and it's not going to be long before it manages to coil up enough to either claw at Dirk or lash him with its tail.