yumel: (Cheese!)
Pamela ([personal profile] yumel) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet2014-07-09 07:33 am

Rule 34 Meme

Rule 34 Meme


Rule 34: "There is porn of it. No exceptions." True of almost any fandom, any character - and wouldn't it be awful if your character was browsing the internet and happened to see some of that? Even if it's not porn, some of the material available on the internet can be mind-scarring for those who appear in it...

Of course, some of us play OCs and small fandom characters for whom rule 34 may not actually be true. In the interest of fairness, feel free to pretend there's vast arrays of porn of them. No one will call you out on providing it.

1. Respond with your character with your name and canon in the subject line.
2. Respond to other characters.
3. They have now found porn/other brainbreaking stuff of one or both of them.
4. React appropriately.
captainhardness: (Intent look)

Captain Jack Harkness | Torchwood | Open to anything

[personal profile] captainhardness 2014-07-11 01:27 am (UTC)(link)
[Clearly this is a very reasonable use of Torchwood software. When you're someone like Jack Harkness, you can never be too careful about what information about yourself is getting spread around, right? And if sometimes the results of that search happen to be interesting, that's not his fault.

Actually, he was just bored, but no one else needs to know that. And the results were, in fact, very interesting. Everything from fiction to pictures to video... some faked, a few not. He'd been appreciating the creativity that went into some of the earlier things he'd found, but the present is one of the latter sort, and getting side-eyed a bit.]


You're kidding me, she had a camera? [The question is followed by a mutter under his breath.] Could've told me.

[Though he doesn't seem too put out about it. If anything he seems thoroughly amused.]
Edited 2014-07-11 01:28 (UTC)
sadandsingle: (amused)

[personal profile] sadandsingle 2014-07-11 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
[Here, Jack, have an IM from Tosh.]

You know, spending the afternoon googling yourself is really more Owen's sort of thing.
captainhardness: (That sounds interesting)

[personal profile] captainhardness 2014-07-11 01:45 am (UTC)(link)
[Of course, leave it to Tosh to notice this from a distance.]

How long have you been spying on my computer? If it's not long, you missed some good ones.
sadandsingle: (fed up with your shit)

[personal profile] sadandsingle 2014-07-11 01:48 am (UTC)(link)
I've programmed the network to flag and monitor certain content. I figure that if I start flashing up warnings whenever Owen looks up porn, it'll keep me from having to remove viruses later on. I'm getting sick of cleaning his computer.
captainhardness: (Smug)

[personal profile] captainhardness 2014-07-11 01:57 am (UTC)(link)
Hah. Clever.

Though in that case, I'm surprised it took you so long to say something.
sadandsingle: (:D)

[personal profile] sadandsingle 2014-07-11 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
It's been a slow afternoon, and watching you has been...educational.

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 02:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] sadandsingle - 2014-07-11 02:27 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 03:06 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] sadandsingle - 2014-07-11 03:09 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 03:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] sadandsingle - 2014-07-11 03:29 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 03:33 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] sadandsingle - 2014-07-11 03:43 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 03:46 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] sadandsingle - 2014-07-11 03:51 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 04:08 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] sadandsingle - 2014-07-11 04:10 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 04:23 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] sadandsingle - 2014-07-11 04:29 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 04:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] sadandsingle - 2014-07-11 04:45 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 04:53 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] sadandsingle - 2014-07-11 05:17 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 05:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] sadandsingle - 2014-07-11 05:25 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 05:29 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] sadandsingle - 2014-07-11 05:43 (UTC) - Expand
damselled: by <lj user="virizion"> (For the love of all that is shiny)

AU!Mari, sticking with the silly name since almost no parent on Earth would name their kid Maribelle

[personal profile] damselled 2014-07-11 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
[Maria Belli had not been working for Torchwood very long. She's still learning the ropes, with Tosh teaching her how to use some of the alien technology they run into, Ianto quizzing her about her likes regarding coffee (hazelnut is always a plus, but she's a sucker for a good mocha, especially when it's got raspberry syrup), Owen being.... Owen, and Gwen taking the young woman under her wing and basically acting a mother hen.

She's a recent transplant from France, with her mother in New York on business and her father somewhere in London. Despite her family's background and riches, she's preferred to carve her own path, living in a tiny flat of her own in Cardiff. Maria's not very well used to "roughing it", so to speak, and in between Owen calling her Princess and Gwen treating her like she's much more fragile than she actually is (and really, from what Maria's heard, Gwen only joined a few weeks before she did), she's determined to prove herself useful.

She doesn't know why Jack picked her, really - well, aside from her taking down that odd, wrinkled beast (Weevils, Tosh had said) with teeth like a shark using her umbrella (it had been raining and she was well-versed in fencing). Oh, alright, she was used to high society, opening doors that the others lacked the means to get into, and she just so happened to be a fast learner.

What she wasn't ready for, however, was the paperwork. Good Lord, the paperwork alone might just kill her one day, if she sticks with this silly, mad job. She's taken it upon herself to go into her Captain's office to ask about it]


Good evening, Captain. I was wondering where to file the paperwork about the stray blowfish that we found playing hopscotch. The silly thing was drunk out of his mind. Should that go under "civilian", or...?

[and then she stops. Jack appeared to be watching something terribly indecent and most certainly not work appropriate. The rest of the question dies in Maria's throat, and she gapes a bit, feeling a flush creeping up the back of her neck.]
captainhardness: (Smug)

[personal profile] captainhardness 2014-07-11 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
[As far as Jack is concerned, anyone who can beat up a weevil with an umbrella is worth looking into a little farther, and after that had been their first meeting? You can bet he went digging for more information. The rest of it just happened to fit the bill.

As for now, he doesn't even blink as she walks into the office and starts talking to him, though if she's paying enough attention she might notice it take him an extra second to drag his eyes off the screen and turn to look at her. He lets the video keep running in the background, as if it's nothing important. Which it isn't, of course.]


"Civilian" sounds right.

[He replies perfectly professionally, only the very slightest hint of his private amusement at how completely shocked she looks right now showing on his face.]

Is that all you wanted to ask?
damselled: by <lj user="virizion"> (But it was also wonderful.)

[personal profile] damselled 2014-07-11 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
[Really, for all her poise and confidence, Maria was used to just being seen as yet another pampered rich girl. No one aside from her parents and her teachers had ever expected anything out of her, and Liz was really the only person who'd accepted her for what she was. Try as she might, she thought she'd never find a place in the world... and then came Torchwood, and already she loved this stupid, terrifying, wonderful job and wanted to do nothing else.

That said, she still wasn't used to the raunchy discussions some of the group (namely Owen and Jack, but especially Jack came up with, and she definitely hadn't been expecting to walk in on her box watching salaciously indecent videos of... himself? Who even <>i>did that?]


O-of course.

[she opens and closes her mouth a few times, staring at Jack. Really, teasing and the odd flirt aside, she hadn't really gotten to know any of her team mates, much less her boss. This was one hell of a way to start learning the ropes, so to speak - and speaking of ropes, was that Jack? Bound?]

Goodness....
captainhardness: (Private smile)

[personal profile] captainhardness 2014-07-11 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
[Well, it's not as if he makes a particular habit of it. Watching videos of himself or being bound, for that matter. They just both happen to be fun in the right circumstances. The smirk on his lips grows wider as she gapes at him. Then he notices her gaze flick to the screen, and he turns to see what prompted the comment.]

Fun night. [With an eyebrow raise and a grin at the screen, he decides to finally stop messing with the new recruit and close out the video. He turns back to her.] A couple years ago. [He cocks his head to the side just slightly.] Didn't know I was being recorded.
damselled: by <lj user="virizion"> (A chill in the air today)

[personal profile] damselled 2014-07-11 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
[She's fairly certain she will never be clean again. How many members of the team have seen Jack naked, mid-coitus? Probably all of them, and some even in person, she reflects. But Jack's not embarrassed in the least, and she'll be drawn and quartered before she lets this get the best of her. She lifts her chin a little, eyes narrowing a bit]

I see. Forgive me for saying so, Captain, but are you certain that sort of thing is appropriate for the workplace?

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 02:57 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] damselled - 2014-07-11 03:11 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 03:24 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] damselled - 2014-07-11 03:44 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 03:59 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] damselled - 2014-07-11 04:05 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 04:19 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] damselled - 2014-07-11 04:22 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 04:34 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] damselled - 2014-07-11 04:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 05:04 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] damselled - 2014-07-11 05:11 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 05:26 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] damselled - 2014-07-11 13:08 (UTC) - Expand
killjoyteaboy: (in headlights)

[personal profile] killjoyteaboy 2014-07-11 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
[... well, that's not what he was expecting to see on Jack's computer. Porn yes. Porn of Jack, no. That's a little distracting. He stops a few steps behind Jack's chair, a poleaxed expression stealing over his face. You'll have to give him a few moments, Jack.]
captainhardness: (Interested)

[personal profile] captainhardness 2014-07-11 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
[When Ianto approaches, he glances over his shoulder, taking note of the completely dumbstruck look on the other man's face. In fact, he seems so fixated on the screen that he doesn't even seem to notice Jack looking at him. With a grin, he simply turns back to the video he'd been watching and waits until Ianto decides to say something.]
killjoyteaboy: (startled)

[personal profile] killjoyteaboy 2014-07-11 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
[Yes. Right. He's not watching any more of that. It's not a good idea when it's in the middle of the day. (He might, though, be remembering certain details to try out later--)

He clears his throat and adjusts the way he's carrying the folders in his arms to make it slightly less obvious what he thought of Jack's taste in entertainment.]


Was that online?
captainhardness: (You're not gonna believe this)

[personal profile] captainhardness 2014-07-11 03:32 am (UTC)(link)
[As if he couldn't tell just from the way Ianto was staring a moment ago.]

Yep. That and a whole bunch of others. [He looks up at Ianto.] Some of them are pretty creative. There's one I should show you later--really gorgeous animation.

[Yeah, he really means he found all sorts of things. Honestly, he's surprised, himself, at the effort people were apparently willing to put into some of these things, including the ones that are obviously fiction. He's not quite sure how he got that much of a reputation. But hey, it's fun to look at, so he's not going to argue.]

(no subject)

[personal profile] killjoyteaboy - 2014-07-11 03:40 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 04:29 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] killjoyteaboy - 2014-07-11 17:26 (UTC) - Expand
coffeeking: (it was this big)

[personal profile] coffeeking 2014-07-11 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
Would it have made a difference?

[Hi, Jack. You know how Ianto can be really quiet sometimes? Quiet enough to sneak up on you and peer over your shoulder while you're distracted watching porn of yourself? Yeah.]
captainhardness: (Private smile)

[personal profile] captainhardness 2014-07-11 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
[Yeah... uh. Yeah. He does know that. And he totally isn't surprised right now. Or at the very least, he's not going to show it.]

Probably not.

[He glances up at him, with a raised eyebrow and a general look of amusement.]

How long have you been watching?
coffeeking: (lots of things)

[personal profile] coffeeking 2014-07-11 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
Not long. Where'd you dig this up from, if you didn't know she was recording?

[He's only seen the one video so far, and he's actually trying hard not to be jealous. It's ridiculous to be jealous of what is clearly a previous lover, so he's concentrating on the part where he can see the play of Jack's muscles as he thrusts. The lady had picked a great camera angle, he'd give her that.]
captainhardness: (Smug)

[personal profile] captainhardness 2014-07-11 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
You ever tried running a search for yourself using our software? Turns out the results are interesting.

[He goes back to looking at the video, which he would likewise have to admit was surprisingly well shot.]

This isn't the only one, though a lot of them aren't real. Apparently there are people out there willing to spend time editing me into things.

(no subject)

[personal profile] coffeeking - 2014-07-11 04:37 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 04:40 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] coffeeking - 2014-07-11 04:56 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 05:09 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] coffeeking - 2014-07-11 05:17 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 05:20 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] coffeeking - 2014-07-11 05:25 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] captainhardness - 2014-07-11 05:44 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] coffeeking - 2014-07-14 21:12 (UTC) - Expand
raggedydoc: (i have something in my eye)

[personal profile] raggedydoc 2014-07-11 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
[Why is he in the Hub? Who knows. It's the Doctor, he can't be tamed. At some point after the video with the woman, he's walking by, trying not to pay attention to what Jack's doing on his computer, because that is completely inappropriate with other people around, Jack Harkness, and-]

........is that supposed to be me? [His voice cracks on the last word, and he sounds a little strangled. That's clearly a poor imitation of him.] Look at that chin! It's entirely too big!
coffeeking: (suzie: deceased)

threadjacking for justice

[personal profile] coffeeking 2014-07-11 05:00 am (UTC)(link)
No it isn't.

[Ianto says it as he breezes by, without even looking up from his files. He doesn't have to. He saw that one earlier and the chin is completely accurate.]
raggedydoc: (insistent)

[personal profile] raggedydoc 2014-07-11 05:11 am (UTC)(link)
Oi!

[He's still squawking and flailing indignantly. There's porn of someone who looks like him on the Internet. This is entirely unacceptable. And now Ianto's making comments about his chin.]

Who asked you, anyway?
captainhardness: (Tell me more)

/snickering/ Well done, Ianto.

[personal profile] captainhardness 2014-07-11 05:16 am (UTC)(link)
[He can't help the small huff of laughter at Ianto's comment, both because he's right, and because he can so easily say it offhand. Clearly, he'd been paying attention to those videos earlier. Jack, meanwhile, is going to make a bit of a show of looking appraisingly between the computer and the real deal for a moment before he comments.]

It might be a little exaggerated.

[And that's followed with a particular smirk at the Doctor.]

Though I have to say, I'm more interested in how accurate everything else is.
coffeeking: (I look dashing)

:3b

[personal profile] coffeeking 2014-07-11 05:29 am (UTC)(link)
His inseam is longer in real life. These ones will need your signature.

[He drops off some of the files at Jack's desk, pointedly ignoring the Doctor's outraged question. No one asked him, but Ianto Jones knows everything.]
raggedydoc: (totally not my fault)

[personal profile] raggedydoc 2014-07-11 05:31 am (UTC)(link)
[The Doctor glowers sulkily at Jack, folding his arms over his chest.]

That, I'll have you know, is private information, and certainly not anything you're likely to find out for yourself anytime soon. Or ever.

(no subject)

[personal profile] coffeeking - 2014-07-11 05:36 (UTC) - Expand