zizz: (pic#6593818)
zizz ([personal profile] zizz) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet2014-03-25 11:55 pm

can't sleep.

the i n s o m n i a meme

It happens to everyone - sometimes, you have nights where you just can't fall asleep, no matter what you do. It could be for a number of reasons, or no reason at all. And this is what's happened now: you've been laying in bed for what feels like hours, just tossing and turning, and nothing seems to help. So what's left to do? Get out of bed and go wake someone else up, of course. If you're not getting any sleep, then why should they?

i n s t r u c t i o n s

• Post with your character (note the name and fandom in the subject).
• Other people reply to you by generating a number from 1 to 10.
• Have fun!

o p t i o n s

01 • FEAR. Maybe you're hearing strange, indeterminable noises; maybe there's a severe storm happening outside; maybe you watched a scary movie before bed? Whatever the reason, you're terrified and it's keeping you awake. You just want to wake someone else up so they can protect you from the monster in your closet.
02 • HUNGER. Your stomach is growling and it just won't stop. Or perhaps your throat is so dry you could cough up a tumbleweed? Well, you've gone to the kitchen to remedy this and hey, that was a pan that just dropped on the floor. It was loud enough to wake the dead! Oops.
03 • PAIN. Your body is completely worn out, be it from exercise, battle, sickness, or what have you. Either way you're in enough pain to keep you from sleeping, so maybe someone else has a home remedy or something, or can at least help you take your mind off of it.
04 • SOLITUDE. For some reason, your bed just feels so empty at the moment. You're feeling terribly lonely and really just want someone to keep you company for a while. Maybe it'd be easier to fall asleep if you're with them...
05 • DISCOMFORT. Your room is an oven. Either that or a freezer. Or maybe this bed is just really uncomfortable? Who knows why you can't get to sleep, it feels like it could be anything. Why even bother trying? Maybe someone else can preoccupy you until you feel tired enough to ignore your discomfort.
06 • PENSIVE. Something's on your mind, and no matter how hard you try to focus elsewhere, it's just not going to work. Your body may be tired, but your mind is incredibly busy and it's virtually impossible to get to sleep. Surely, talking it out with someone else will help?
07 • SADNESS. Something terrible has happened that day, perhaps; or you could just be severely depressed. Either way you're trying your hardest not to cry yourself to sleep, and it's not working at all. Better find a way to get it out of your system somehow; you need a shoulder to cry on.
08 • ANGER. You are just... fuming. Who knows why - that annoying dog is barking again, or maybe the people next door are getting busy and keeping you awake. Whatever the reason for your ire is, you'd better put an end to it so you can get some damn rest already! Go wake up a friend so you can complain to them.
09 • RESTLESS. You're far too energetic to sleep right now. Maybe you're just trying to do so out of necessity - you have to be up early tomorrow! But you just don't think you'll be able to fall asleep for a while now, so why waste the time trying to sleep when you could be doing something else? Namely bothering someone else - you're totally jealous because they're getting more sleep than you.
10 • WILDCARD. Choose one of the options above, or make up your own scenario.

mccallme: (concerned)

10 -- Choose Your Own!

[personal profile] mccallme 2014-03-29 12:32 am (UTC)(link)
[It's been a couple days since everything went down. Scott finds himself at the Stilinski house in the middle of the night because he can't sleep, and because he wants to check on his best friend. Stiles has been through a lot in the last few weeks. Too much, really. He's quiet as he makes his way up onto the roof and peers into Stiles' window to see if he's asleep or not. He hopes he is, but he just wants to check on him one way or another.]
causticly: (139)


[personal profile] causticly 2014-03-29 01:37 am (UTC)(link)
[ For once Stiles is asleep, but it's fitful at best, the teen tossing and turning in his bed. Sweat beads at his temples as he struggles. There's a part of him that knows he's safe, that the Nogitsune is gone, no longer connected to him or this world any longer, but that doesn't mean the fear isn't still there, lurking in his subconscious.

But after a few moments the teens heart rate spikes and his breath comes in quick shudders before he's bolting up and jerking back, almost knocking his head on his headboard. He just barely manages to keep himself from screaming.

Stiles actually manages to keep himself from panicking and when he looks at the clock on his nightstand he mutters a soft 'fuck'. Two hours. Two frigging hours. Sitting there on his bed he brings his knees up to his chest and rests his forehead on them as he breathes. ]
mccallme: (worry)

[personal profile] mccallme 2014-03-29 01:50 am (UTC)(link)
[And this is the exact reason that Scott keeps stopping by. Because he knows that Stiles isn't okay even though he's not possessed anymore. He knows that his best friend blames himself for what happened, even though it wasn't his fault. He sees Stiles flail in bed before sitting up, wincing as his heartbeat shoots up into faster levels than normal, even for Stiles.

He knocks lightly on the window before he slides it open, mostly wanting to alert Stiles to his presence so he doesn't freak him out by just coming on in. Maybe once upon a time, but not now. He crawls through the window and turns, shutting it once more.]

Hey. [His voice is quiet.]
causticly: (189)

[personal profile] causticly 2014-03-29 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
[ Stiles' head jerks up at the soft knock, whole body rolling with the movement and his pulse spikes for a moment but slows, a little, when he sees it's just Scott. If he were honest he's still surprised Scott even wants to be around him after what he's done. Sure, he gets it, logically, that it wasn't him but it doesn't feel that way. He felt it, everything these hands did.

He tightens his arms around his knees. ]

Hey. [ It's just as quiet when he speaks, like he's afraid to speak any louder than that. ] What's up? Everything okay?
mccallme: (uncertain)

[personal profile] mccallme 2014-03-29 02:00 am (UTC)(link)
[He hates the way Stiles looks right now. Like he's ready to crawl into a hole and disappear. He hasn't seen him like this since after his mom died. He wishes he could take away more than just a person's physical pain. But he can't.

He drops down into Stiles' computer chair.]

Yeah, everything's fine. I was just out for a walk and ended up here. [He hesitates a second.] You get any sleep?
causticly: (126)

[personal profile] causticly 2014-03-29 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
[ While he might not be a werewolf with supernatural hearing abilities he knows it's a lie. And he doesn't blame Scott, not really. He'd probably keep an eye on himself if he were in Scott's position. But he just nods, because Scott is Scott and he's the best person Stiles knows, literally the best.

He rubs a hand over his face and shrugs. ]

A couple hours, I think. I just- it's hard to sleep.
mccallme: (thinking)

[personal profile] mccallme 2014-03-29 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
I kinda figured it might be.

[Scott's keeping an eye on him but it's not because he's worried that Stiles is still possessed or anything. He's just worried about him in general. The way he'd kept expressing his willingness -- even eagerness to die, scared him. A lot.]

You've gotta give yourself time, man. [His voice is quiet, gaze reflecting how worried he is.] It's just...gonna take time.
Edited 2014-03-29 02:11 (UTC)
causticly: (27)

[personal profile] causticly 2014-03-29 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
[ He gives Scott a small smile at that. ]

Yeah, yeah, I know. I just.. I dunno, I just keep... waiting, I guess. Like for this all to be another vivid dream, to wake up and find out I'm still- that none of it ever happened.

[ That he's still trapped, dying.

He takes in a shaky breath and shakes his head. He knows it's real, he knows it is, has the little mark to prove it. But sometimes... sometimes he can't help but fear it's all one big nightmare he'll never really wake up from. ]
mccallme: (you weren't asleep)

[personal profile] mccallme 2014-03-29 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
[Scott considers that for a long moment, nodding. Sometimes it feels like a vivid dream to him, too, but he knows it's even worse for his friend. He listens to the shaky inhaled breath that Stiles takes and he rises from the chair, moving to sit down beside him on the bed.]

You're not dreaming now. You're awake. You're okay. [As okay as he can be anyway. He's ready to count with Stiles if he needs to, to prove that he's not trapped in another endless terrifying dream.]

And I'm here so, uh, what can I do?
causticly: (11)

[personal profile] causticly 2014-03-29 02:30 am (UTC)(link)
[ Stiles nods, because more than anything- anyone- he trusts Scott but he still glances discreetly at his friends hands, flexes his own fingers and pushes the urge away. He's... far from okay, he knows, but he's getting there. And he's alive, not dying anymore. He'll be okay.

For a moment Stiles just looks at Scott, has this look on his face like he's not sure how Scott can still be so... Scott. ]

I'm sorry. [ It's not as quiet as it should be considering the time of night and his dad asleep just down the hall, blurted out without thought. ]

I'm sorry about Allison. [ Because he is, god, he is. He'd never wanted anyone else to get hurt because of him. And then Allison... Stiles blames himself, how can't he? He gave in and now she's dead, Aidan's dead (and yeah, he does kinda feel bad about that, as much as he hated the twins). ]
mccallme: (listen to me)

[personal profile] mccallme 2014-03-29 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
[He watches his friend's gaze dart from his hands to his own and his chest tightens. He hates that he can't fix this. That he can't make it easier for Stiles. For Lydia. For anyone. He's not good at sitting idly by and just watching the people he cares about hurt. But werewolf super powers can't fix everything and he knows it.

He shifts slightly on the bed so he's facing Stiles better, and feels his heart break for his best friend as he blurts out an apology.]

Stiles, it wasn't your fault. [His own voice is much quieter, because he's aware of the sheriff asleep down the hall, can hear his heart beating steadily and doesn't want to wake him up. He reaches out and puts his hand on Stiles' shoulder, squeezing gently and shaking his head.]

It isn't your fault. It wasn't you. [Because it wasn't. Scott knew Stiles better than he knew anyone else, and Stiles wasn't capable of doing the things the nogitsune had done. Not even close.]
causticly: (130)

[personal profile] causticly 2014-03-29 02:43 am (UTC)(link)
[ Sometimes he hates how good Scott is, that Scott won't blame him when he blames himself. It baffles him, honestly, why no one does.

Stiles shakes his head a little. ]
But it was here because of me. And it had my face and it sounded like me, looked like me and-

[ He hates the thought that she might have died thinking it was because of him. Because as much as he might've been jealous, a little, in the beginning, she'd become a friend- an ally.

His hand comes up to grip at Scott's arm, sliding up to his wrist as he tries to take in a slow breath. It's nagged at him, all the horrible things that... monster had done using his body. ]
mccallme: (Stiles -- hugs)

[personal profile] mccallme 2014-03-29 02:55 am (UTC)(link)
[His chest feels tight just from the guilt that he can feel from Stiles. It's almost physically painful in its intensity.]

But it wasn't you, Stiles. [His voice is firm and he reaches over and wraps his arms around his friend tightly.]

Listen to me. You couldn't do the things that it did, Stiles. Okay? I know you. And it wasn't here because of you, it was here because of Jennifer Blake. [And maybe a tiny part of him also blames Kira's mother, for that matter.] She's the one who set this all into motion. You didn't ask for this. You're a victim here, just like everyone else.
Edited 2014-03-29 02:56 (UTC)
causticly: (164)

[personal profile] causticly 2014-03-29 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
[ His breath catches a little as he winds his arms around Scott in return, holding him tight and pressing his face into his friend's shoulder. He nods as he listens to Scott, and knows he's right, even if he still feels like he should have tried harder, fought harder. ]

I know- I know, in my head, I know. But it's still hard. Because I remember all of it, Scott, everything it did when it was inside my head. My dads station, hurting you.

[ That- that gets a choked little sound out of him, because never in a million years would he ever hurt Scott like that.

Jesus, he's emotional, what the hell. Though he supposes it's to be expected, given the shit-storm they've all been through. Being the one possessed was certainly no picnic for him either. ]

Stay. [ His arms tighten around Scott even more. ] You asked what you could do. Just stay, for a little while.
mccallme: (looking down -- sad)

[personal profile] mccallme 2014-03-29 03:11 am (UTC)(link)
[He holds onto him tightly, nodding slightly when Stiles speaks again.]

I can't even imagine how hard it was. [He could, kind of, because sometimes he's still afraid he's going to end up hurting someone because of the werewolf thing. He can kind of imagine how terrible it would feel to actually be out of control and hurt someone. But even that was different. The werewolf was a part of him. An actual demonic fox had hijacked Stiles' body. It hadn't technically been part of him, in Scott's mind. It was just in control.

He knows Stiles is stuck on that day at the vet's clinic and he hates it. He'd known at that moment that it wasn't his best friend. Because when he'd looked into its eyes it hadn't been Stiles at all. There'd been no warmth or humor or anything there. Just...a void.]

I'm okay. [His voice grows quiet.] I literally healed in like three minutes. And I know it wasn't you. [He thinks it's terribly unfair that Stiles has to remember it at all.]

I'll stay the rest of the night. Okay? [He leans his head against Stiles', sadness tugging at him.]
causticly: (128)

[personal profile] causticly 2014-03-29 03:18 am (UTC)(link)
[ Stiles hates it too, because sometimes when he closes his eyes it's all he can see. The way the blade twisted in Scott's stomach, the feel of the hilt in the palm of his hand, fingers curled around it as it twisted even more. If he'd had the ability to upchuck he would have in that moment.

He hates that it knew to hurt Scott. That it would hurt him as much as it would hurt Scott.

He huffs a tiny soft laugh at that, freakish werewolf healing.

Stiles nods a little, rests his head against Scott's in turn, squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before opening and then and looking at his best friend. ]

You know I'd never- I'd never do that. I'd- I'd kill myself before I'd ever hurt you like that.

[ Because he has to make sure Scott knows that. ]
mccallme: (bad things)

[personal profile] mccallme 2014-03-29 03:28 am (UTC)(link)
[He does know that. And it sort of makes him feel ill just thinking about it. It reminds him of that night, of how many times Stiles kept reiterating that they should just let him die. That he didn't care if he did. And that's more painful and scary to think about than a thousand swords through the stomach any day of the week.]

I know that. [He squeezes his arm, looking at him intently.] But that's the last thing I'd want. You know that right? God, Stiles. [He lets out a breath, not wanting to think about how things could have turned out. If Stiles hadn't, at the last moment, seen through the nogitsune's trick, he believed with everything in him that Stiles wouldn't have hesitated to run that sword through his own stomach.]

causticly: (188)

[personal profile] causticly 2014-03-29 03:54 am (UTC)(link)
[ He does know, because he's seen how hard Scott would and will fight for him. Even when they'd thought the only way to win was to let him die, for Scott to kill him- that Scott wouldn't. He knows there's nothing Scott wouldn't do for Stiles and the same holds true for him, too. He'd do anything to keep Scott alive.

He had been wholly prepared to kill himself for them- for him. For Scott. ]

I know, I know. I'm sorry. But I would have if it kept you alive, kept you safe.

[ He slides a hand up to grip at the back of Scott's neck, to anchor himself. ] I know I never said, or if I did I don't remember, but... thank you for trusting me.

[ For always trusting him. ]
mccallme: (Stiles -- hugs)

[personal profile] mccallme 2014-03-29 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
[He wonders somehow, how this has become their lives. He remembers how different things had been before all of the werewolf and supernatural things came into view, how normal things had been. He wishes sometimes that he could go back in time and change things if for no other reason than to simplify things for Stiles.]

I know you would have. And that's what scares me. [His voice is pained.] Remember that night at the Glen Capri? What you said to me?

[Scott takes a deep breath, gazing intently at Stiles.] You're my best friend, Stiles. Of course I trust you.
Edited 2014-03-29 04:11 (UTC)
causticly: (128)

[personal profile] causticly 2014-03-29 04:16 am (UTC)(link)
[ There are moments, when things get this bad that Stiles thinks back to that night Scott got bit, wonders how different if it'd been him in Scott's place. Or if he'd never taken him out at all, if he'd never gotten so fucking curious and led Scott out at night. Sometimes when he thinks of those moments he blames himself, because Scott got bit because of him.

Stiles nods at the question, because of course he does. He'd never been more terrified in his life than he had at that moment, the thought of losing Scott did and still does scare him. And he can feel his eyes sting, because he remembers what he said to Scott, every word. ]

Okay. [ He sniffs a little and nods, closing his eyes for a moment as he nudges their foreheads together a little, taking comfort in the closeness. It feels like he hasn't been this close to anyone in weeks. ]
mccallme: (sad)

[personal profile] mccallme 2014-03-29 04:23 am (UTC)(link)
[If Scott had any clue that Stiles blamed himself for all of that, he would have immediately pointed out that he hadn't really fought the idea of going out that night. And also that Peter was a psychotic asshole who was to blame, not Stiles.

His eyes are sad as he looks back at his best friend.]
Well it's the same thing for me. You're my brother and I need you, Stiles. [He wants to add something to the effect of so please for the love of god stop trying to sacrifice yourself at every twist in the road. Because Scott is terrified of losing Stiles, too.] You're someone, too.

[And he'll remind him of this every day for the rest of their lives if he has to, until Stiles gets that he's just as important as everyone else, because he is. He shuts his eyes, sliding his arms around his friend again, patting his back gently.]

causticly: (164)

[personal profile] causticly 2014-03-29 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
[ Stiles shifts to bury his face in Scott's neck to hide the small sounds he lets out hearing that, arms tightening around the other teen so much he's sure if he were human it'd hurt.

Sometimes he wonders how he got so lucky to have a best friend like Scott. Someone he loves as much as he loves his dad, if not more so with how close they are. ]

Thank you. Just... thank you.

[ For believing in me, for not giving up on me. And so many more things he's not sure he could ever say. ]
mccallme: (Stiles -- hugs)

[personal profile] mccallme 2014-03-29 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
[He lets out a breath, shutting his eyes as they blur with tears because if there's one thing in the world that can make him cry, it's Stiles crying. Or his mom.]

I'm here. Always. [And he means that completely. He'll always be there for Stiles if he's needed. No matter what. And they were going to get through this, even if it was hard. Even if it hurt.]

Come on, let's try and get some sleep, okay? I'll just stay here with you.
causticly: (189)

[personal profile] causticly 2014-03-29 04:50 am (UTC)(link)
[ Stiles just nods, doesn't trust himself to talk right now, taking in shallow breaths so he doesn't just break down right then and there. He just holds on tight to Scott for a few more moments.

Then, slowly, he pulls away and wipes at his face as he nods again. ]

Yeah, okay. Fuck, I'm tired.

[ He laughs a little, but it's humorous and he quiets as he lays back down, tugs the covers up and then shifts around on the bed and lifts up the other end of his comforter and sheets for Scott to join him, patting the empty space beside him with his other hand. ]
mccallme: (sleepy smile)

[personal profile] mccallme 2014-03-29 04:55 am (UTC)(link)
[Scott smiles at the gesture, and he kicks his shoes off under the bed before sliding his legs up and under the comforter, lying down beside Stiles and trying to remember the last time they'd shared a bed. They'd had a lot of "slumber parties" growing up -- both the planned and impromptu kind. But it had been a long time.

Truthfully Scott hasn't slept well the last few days either, and he feels himself relax beside his best friend, turning his head toward him as he stretches out.]

Get some rest. I'm here if you need anything.

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